Conrad "Con" Jarrett: When I let myself feel, all I feel is lousy. Dr. Berger: Oh well excuse me, I never promised you a rose garden. Conrad "Con" Jarrett: Oh fuck you Berger. Dr. Berger: What? Conrad "Con" Jarrett: FUCK YOU! Dr. Berger: Hey, that's ...
Peter Gibbons: It's not just about me and my dream of doing nothing. It's about all of us. I don't know what happened to me at that hypnotherapist and, I don't know, maybe it was just shock and it's wearing off now, but when I saw that fat man keel o...
[Peter is wearing shorts, sandals and a paisley shirt, with his feet up on his desk, munching chips and playing tetris on his computer] Bill Lumbergh: So, Peter, what's happening? Aahh, now, are you going to go ahead and have those TPS reports for us...
Ulysses Everett McGill: The treasure is still there boys, believe me. Delmar O'Donnell: But how'd he know about the treasure? Ulysses Everett McGill: I don't know Delmar. The blind are reputed to possess sensitivities compensating for their lack of s...
Lone Watie: [realizes Josey has snuck up behind and pulled a gun on him] They said a man could get rich on reward money if he could kill you. Josey Wales: Seems like you was looking to gain some money here. Lone Watie: Actually, I was looking to gain...
Kelly: [Josie has walked into the saloon in Santa Rio] What'll you have? Josey Wales: Whiskey. Rose: [laughing] Maybe you'd like somethin' else. Josey Wales: Beer? Kelly: Been a long time since somebody ordered a drink in San Rio. Ten Spot: Been a lo...
[fencing] Inigo Montoya: You are wonderful. Man in Black: Thank you; I've worked hard to become so. Inigo Montoya: I admit it, you are better than I am. Man in Black: Then why are you smiling? Inigo Montoya: Because I know something you don't know. M...
Westley: Who are you? Are we enemies? Why am I on this wall? Where is Buttercup? Inigo Montoya: Let me explain. [pause] Inigo Montoya: No, there is too much. Let me sum up. Buttercup is marry Humperdinck in little less than half an hour. So all we ha...
Trudi: You know how they use that gun to pierce your ears? They don't use that when they pierce your nipples, do they? Jody: Forget that gun. That gun goes against the entire idea behind piercing. All of my piercings, sixteen places on my body, all o...
Lance: [answering the phone] Hello. Vincent: Lance! It's Vincent. I'm in big fuckin' trouble, man. I'm coming to your house. Lance: Whoa. Whoa. Hold your horses, man. What's the problem? Vincent: I've got this chick, she fuckin' O.D.in' on me! Lance:...
The Wolf: You must be Jules, which would make you Vincent. Let's get down to brass tacks, gentlemen. If I was informed correctly, the clock is ticking, is that right, Jimmie? Jimmie: Uh, one hundred percent. The Wolf: Your wife... Bonnie comes home a...
Sol Robeson: Have you met Archimedes? The one with the black spots, you see? You remember Archimedes of Syracuse, eh? The king asks Archimedes to determine if a present he's received is actually solid gold. Unsolved problem at the time. It tortures t...
[first lines] Pan: A long time ago, in the underground realm, where there are no lies or pain, there lived a Princess who dreamed of the human world. She dreamed of blue skies, soft breeze, and sunshine. One day, eluding her keepers, the Princess esc...
King: [while cleaning the latrines] I'm too short for this shit, man. 39 and a wake-up, a pause for the cause and I'm a gone motherfucker. Back to the world! Crawford: Hey, I broke a hundred the other day, 92 left to go. April 17th, home to Californi...
Chris Taylor: [narrating] Well, here I am, anonymous, all right. With guys nobody really cares about. They come from the end of the line, most of them, small towns you never heard of: Pulaski, Tennessee; Brandon, Mississippi; Pork Bend, Utah; Wampum,...
The Blue Fairy: Little puppet made of pine, awake. The gift of life is thine. [She touches her wand to Pinocchio who wakes and begins to move] Jiminy Cricket: Whew! What they can't do these days! Pinocchio: I can move! [covers his mouth] Pinocchio: I...
[Jack sees Mr. Cotton's parot] Jack Sparrow: Well! I'm actually feeling rather good about this. I think we all arrived at a very special place eh? [Governor acts disgusted] Jack Sparrow: Spiritually. Ecumenically. Grammatically. [Walks over to Common...
Elizabeth: I hardly believe in ghost stories, Captain Barbossa. Barbossa: Aye. That's exactly what I thought when first told of the tale. Buried in the island of the dead that which cannot be found except by those who already knows where it is. Find ...
Jack Sparrow: That's the second time I've had to watch that man sail away with my ship. Elizabeth: But you were marooned on this island before, weren't you? So we can escape in the same way you did then. Jack Sparrow: To what point and purpose, young...
[first lines] Young Elizabeth: [singing] Yo, ho, yo, ho/ a pirate's life for me/ Yo, ho, yo, ho/ it's a pirate's life for me/drink up me hearties, yo, ho... Mr. Gibbs: [surprises her by coming up from behind her] Quiet, missy! Cursed pirates sail the...
Jack Sparrow: What's your name? Will Turner: Will Turner. Jack Sparrow: That would be short for William, I imagine. Good strong name, no doubt named for your father, eh? Will Turner: Yes. Jack Sparrow: Well Mr. Turner, I've changed me mind. If you sp...
