Barry the Baptist: [answering his phone] What? Dean: I thought you said there'd be no staff Barry! Barry the Baptist: Did you get those guns? Dean: You wanna see what they did to poor Gary? [calling out to a delirious Gary] Dean: Gary? Gary? Barry th...
Nisus Wettus: [a line of prisoners files past a jailer] Nisus Wettus: Crucifixion? Prisoner: Yes. Nisus Wettus: Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each. [Next prisoner] Nisus Wettus: Crucifixion? Mr. Cheeky: Er, no, freedom actually. ...
Ex-Leper: Okay, sir, my final offer: half a shekel for an old ex-leper? Brian: Did you say "ex-leper"? Ex-Leper: That's right, sir, 16 years behind a veil and proud of it, sir. Brian: Well, what happened? Ex-Leper: Oh, cured, sir. Brian: Cured? Ex-Le...
Brian: No, no. Please, please please listen. I've got one or two things to say. The Crowd: Tell us! Tell us both of them! Brian: Look, you've got it all wrong. You don't need to follow me. You don't need to follow anybody! You've got to think for you...
Field Marshal Gerd von Rundstedt: This is madness... madness... sheer madness! Major General Gunther Blumentritt: I just talked to General Jodl... the Fuhrer is awake. Field Marshal Gerd von Rundstedt: I don't care if he's awake or not! What about th...
Alfred: When are you planning to be married? Tristan: Morning. Alfred: Damn you, Tristan. You will marry her. Tristan: And make a honest woman out of her? Alfred: Yes! God damn you to hell. Tristan: Yes, I will marry her if she'll have me. Alfred: If...
Constance Harraway: You wanna tell me what's up? David Gale: Nothing. Everything. Something profoundly stupid happened last night. Constance Harraway: I hope you used a condom. [David looks at Constance] Constance Harraway: Oh Jesus Christ, David. Wa...
Mr. Eddy: How you doin' Pete? Pete Dayton: Okay. Mr. Eddy: I'm sure you noticed that girl that was with me the other day, good lookin' blonde? She stayed in the car? Her name is Alice. I swear I love that girl to death. If I ever find out that somebo...
Sam: Do you remember the Shire, Mr. Frodo? It'll be spring soon. And the orchards will be in blossom. And the birds will be nesting in the hazel thicket. And they'll be sowing the summer barley in the lower fields... and eating the first of the straw...
Galadriel: The power of the Three Rings is ended. The time has come... for the dominion of Men. Elrond: I Aear c?n ven na mar. [Elvish: The Sea calls us home] Bilbo: I think I'm... quite ready for another adventure. [Climbs on board with Elrond. Gala...
Rafiki: [after guiding Simba to a spot where he says will show him Mufasa] Look down there. Adult Simba: [looks into a pool of water] That's not my father. That's just my reflection. Rafiki: No, look harder. [touches the water, as it ripples Simba's ...
Zazu: As the king's brother *you* should have been first in line. Mufasa: Well I was first in line. Until the little hairball was born. Mufasa: That hairball is my son and you're future king. Scar: [Begins walking away] Oh, I shall practice my curtse...
Humbert Humbert: Well, it's nothing, but... she had an accident. Clare Quilty: Oh gee, she had an accident? That's really terrible, I mean, fancy a fellow's wife having... a normal guy having... his wife having an accident like that. W-what happened ...
Charlotte Haze: Is, um, Madame Humbert, um... Humbert Humbert: There's no "Madame". We are divorced... Charlotte Haze: Oh... Humbert Humbert: *Happily* divorced. Charlotte Haze: When did all this happen? Humbert Humbert: About a year ago - in Paris. ...
Jack Crabb: General, you go down there. General Custer: You're advising me to go into the Coulee? Jack Crabb: Yes sir. General Custer: There are no Indians there, I suppose. Jack Crabb: I didn't say that. There are thousands of Indians down there. An...
Triton: Sebastian, I'm concerned about Ariel. Have you noticed she's been acting peculiar lately? Sebastian: Oh! Uh, peculiar? Triton: You know, mooning about, daydreaming, singing to herself. You haven't noticed, hmm? Sebastian: Oh, well I. Triton: ...
Flotsam & Jetsam: Poor child. Poor, sweet child. She has a very serious problem. If only there was something we could do. But there is something. Ariel: Who who are you? Flotsam & Jetsam: Don't be scared. We represent someone who can help you. Someon...
Malcolm Tucker: All right now, my lovely friends, the bottom line is... Michael Rodgers: Oh, God, I hate that phrase. "Bottom line." I mean, we're not in retailing. Malcolm Tucker: Sorry. Michael's quite right. I won't use that again. The bottom line...
Gandalf: For sixty years, the Ring lay quiet in Bilbo's keeping, prolonging his life, delaying old age. But no longer, Frodo. Evil is stirring in Mordor. The Ring has awoken. It's heard its Master's call. Frodo: But he was destroyed. Sauron was destr...
[first lines] Waldo Lydecker: [narrating off screen] I shall never forget the weekend Laura died. A silver sun burned through the sky like a huge magnifying glass. It was the hottest Sunday in my recollection. I felt as if I were the only human being...
Olive: [going over eye test pamphlets] Mom, Dwayne's got 20/20 vision! Sheryl: I bet he does... Olive: Now, let's see if you're colorblind. [opens the pamphlet] Olive: What's the letter in the circle? [Dwayne looks confused] Olive: No in the circle. ...
