Benjy Benjamin: [in a hospital in bandages and casts] It's all your fault. It's all your fault right from the beginning to the end. J. Algernon Hawthorne: You know, even for a policeman, your behavior was ruddy outrageous. Sylvester Marcus: Yeah, you...
[last lines] Mrs. Marcus: [as she, with Emmeline and Monica in tow, enter the prison hospital, right after Benjy throws the banana peel on the floor] Now see here, you idiots, it's all your fault, because if you hadn't... [slips on the banana peel an...
J. Russell Finch: Here, [pulls a blue bicycle from the mess of furniture that fell out of Pike's van] J. Russell Finch: take this and go hire us the best car you can find. Lennie Pike: But... this is a little girl's bike. This is for a little girl. O...
I'm sure I've all but lost friends by maintaining that, despite their love for it, I always saw Stanley Kramer's 'It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World' as more of an exercise in anti-comedy than humor.
There is a madness that is joy, and a madness that is just madness.
Otto Meyer: [Honking car as it pulls into the Ray & Irwin Garage] Fellas. I'm glad you're here. Look, I need your help. Here's what happened. I had this blowout. I think there's a spare in the back. It may be a little flat. Take a look at it will you...
Melville Crump: The man said there was a certain amount of money buried down in this park. Lennie Pike: That's right. It was under a big W. Say what is a big W? Ding Bell: If we find out, we'll send you a wire. Melville Crump: It's only a possibility...
Benjy Benjamin: Look! We've figured it seventeen different ways, and every time we figured it, it was no good, because no matter how we figured it, somebody don't like the way we figured it! So now, there's only one way to figure it. And that is, eve...
Police Chief Aloysius: [to Captain Culpeper] It's no. The answer is no. He won't back any increase in pensions. He won't even talk about it. And there won't be any increase in pensions. And do you know why? Because they got a solid majority of both R...
J. Russell Finch: I don't know, I must find my wife. I don't know what to do. J. Algernon Hawthorne: Look, wherever they are, surely the most sensible thing for the two of us to do is to press on. I mean for all we know, your brother-in-law may be ou...
Men are so necessarily mad, that not to be mad would amount to another form of madness.
Otto Meyer: I wish I knew what they're going to do to us. But no matter what happens to us... [to Captain Culpeper] Otto Meyer: what happens to you, I hope will be worse! Capt. T.G. Culpeper: I don't think you have to worry too much about that. My wi...
J. Russell Finch: You want me to tell you something? As far as I'm concerned the whole British race is practically finished. If it hadn't been for lend-lease. If we hadn't have kept your whole country afloat by giving you billions that you never even...
The world is too sane. It could use a little madness.
Let me be mad, then, by all means! mad with the madness of Absinthe, the wildest, most luxurious madness in the world! Vive la folie! Vive l'amour! Vive l'animalisme! Vive le Diable!
Capt. T.G. Culpeper: [answering phone] : Hello, Ginger? What's the matter now? Ginger Culpeper: It's Billie Sue. Her new boyfriend, Oscar, was supposed to come down here from Pomona just to meet us. So now, she called him and told him we were goin' a...
Otto Meyer: So, what's wrong with your wife? Miner: That's the trouble, the doc's not sure. He says whatever it is, she's too sick even to be moved. She needs this special stuff and we haven't got a phone so I went to get it and that's when... Slow d...
Emmeline Finch: I'm only thinking of Russell's condition. Mrs. Marcus: You mean his financial condition, because that's the only condition that he has. J. Russell Finch: Yeah but... Mrs. Marcus: Emmeline, do you know why your husband had a nervous br...
Police radio voice unit F-7: [voice] F-7 to Central. The Crumps are locked in a hardware store basement. Should I let them out? Over. Capt. T.G. Culpeper: How the hell could they get themselves locked in a basement? We gotta let them out. Police serg...
Mad I call it, for to define true madness, what is't to be nothing else but mad?
O! Let me not be mad, not mad, sweet heaven; keep me in temper; I would not be mad!
