Rebecca: Oh! It's that comedian I was telling you about. [she turns up the volume on her television, which is showing an odd-looking man performing stand-up comedy] Rebecca: See this bit, it's the absolute worst. Joey McCobb, the Stand Up Comic: [on ...
Millie: Oh, wait a minute, don't tell me who you are. John: No, I'm not. Millie: Oh, you are. John: I'm not. Millie: Oh, you are, I know you are. John: I'm not, no. Millie: You look just like him. John: Do I? You're the first one that's said that eve...
Samantha: So how can I help you? Theodore: Oh, it's just more that everything feels disorganized, that's all. Samantha: You mind if I look through your hard drive? Theodore: Um... okay. Samantha: Okay, let's start with your e-mails. You have a severa...
Uncle Vernon: He will not be going, I tell you! We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to all this rubbish! Harry: You knew? You knew all along and you never told me? Aunt Petunia: Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister bein...
Bill: He'll accept you as his student. The Bride: Caught him in a good mood, aye? Bill: More like a sadistic one. Just seeing those steps again makes me ache. You're gonna have plenty of fun carrying buckets of water up and down that fucker. The Brid...
Ted Kramer: [while Billy brings ice cream to the table] You go right back and put that right back until you finish your dinner... I'm warning you, you take one bite out of that and you are in big trouble. Don't... Hey! Don't you dare... Don't you DAR...
Lt. Gen. George Miller: You're beautiful. Karen Clarke: Oh, thank you. I'm sure you say that to all the girls. Lt. Gen. George Miller: Yes, I do... And some of the soldiers, too. Karen Clarke: That's why you shouldn't run for office, bimbo eruptions....
Pimp Lester: [pointing gun at Oleg] Say hello to my little friend! Joey Gazelle: That's real fuckin' original. What are you, a fuckin' cartoon? Pimp Lester: I'm a Mack Daddy pimp! You know that. And now I'm gonna cap your ass, and when I'm finished w...
James T. Kirk: Let me explain what's happening here: you are a criminal! I watched you murder innocent men and women! I was authorized to *end* you! And the only reason why you are still alive is because I am allowing it. So *shut your mouth*! Khan: ...
Sergeant Horvath: Stars. Lieutenant Dewindt: Yeah, Brigadier General Amend, deputy commander, 101st. Some fucking genius had the great idea of welding a couple of steel plates onto our deck to keep the general safe from ground fire. Unfortunately, th...
Sammy Barnathan: I don't have a resume, or a picture. I've never worked as an actor. Caden Cotard: Good. Tell me why you're here. Sammy Barnathan: Well I've been... I've been following you for twenty years. So I knew about this audition because I fol...
Hamm: All right, let's review this one more time. At precisely 8:32-ish, Exhibit A, Woody, was kidnapped. [Etch-A-Sketch draws Woody] Hamm: Exhibit B, a composide sketch of the kidnapper. [Etch-A-Sketch draws Al with a long beard] Bo Peep: He didn't ...
[Lester eavesdrops on Jane and Angela through Jane's bedroom door] Jane Burnham: Sorry about my dad. Angela Hayes: Don't be. I think it's funny. Jane Burnham: Yeah, to you, he's just another guy who wants to jump your bones. But to me, he's just... t...
Hudson: [puts his rifle against Burke's head] I say we grease this rat-fuck son-of-a-bitch right now. Hicks: It just doesn't make any goddamn sense. Ripley: He figured that he could get an alien back through quarantine, if one of us was... impregnate...
Mike Shiner: Give me a cue again. Riggan: Okay. "Hey, I'm the wrong person to ask. I don't actually know the man, I've heard his name mentioned in passing. I don't know, you'd have to know the particulars. I think what you're saying..." Mike Shiner: ...
Percy Garris: [singing] Oh don't you remember sweet Betsy from Pike / Crossed the high mountains with her lover Ike / Two yoke of oxen and big yellow dog / Called Shanghai rooster and one spotted hog / Hoodle-dang-hootie-i-doh, hoodle-dang-hootie-ay,...
Ray: Harry, I've got an idea. Harry: What? Ray: My room faces out the canal, right? I'm going to go back to me room, jump into the canal, see if I can swim to the other side and escape. Harry: All right. Ray: If you go outside around the corner, you ...
Jesse: I know what you mean about wishing somebody wasn't there, though. It's just usually it's myself that I wish I could get away from. Seriously, think about this. I have never been anywhere that I haven't been. I've never had a kiss when I wasn't...
JOHN: are you... JOHN: are you gay now? DAVE: what no KARKAT: (THE WORDS. WHY WON'T THE WORDS STOP. DEAR GOD.) JOHN: i dunno, it sounds to me like you're trying tell me something here! DAVE: man no look JOHN: i mean, it's ok if you're gay now! JOHN: ...
I excuse myself and go to the ladies’ room. Washing my hands, I give myself a little you can do this type pep talk. When I walk out, I see him leaned up against the wall opposite the door. "Long line for the men's room?" I try to joke, moving past ...
You see, we were able to give you something, something which even now no one will ever take from you, and we were able to do that principally by sheltering you. Hailsham would not have been Hailsham if we hadn’t. Very well, sometimes that meant we ...
