Capt. Jack Aubrey: [describing his first encounter with Lord Horatio Nelson to his officers] The first time that he spoke to me... I shall never forget his words. I remember it like it was yesterday. He leaned across the table, he looked me straight ...
Jack Skellington: Forgive me, Mr. Claus. I'm afraid I've made a terrible mess of your holiday. Santa: Bumpy *sleigh*-ride... Jack. Next time you get the urge to take over someone else's holiday, I'd listen to *her*. [points to Sally] Santa: She's the...
Frank: [sings] Oh say can you see / By the dawn's early light / What so proudly we hail / In the twilight's last gleaming? / Whose bright stripes and broad stars / In the perilous night / For the ramparts we watched / uh, da-da-da-da-da-daaaa. / And ...
Laureen Hobbs: He's plague, he's smallpox, he's typhoid. I don't want to follow his goddamn show. I want out of that 8 o'clock spot. I've got enough troubles without Howard Beale as a lead-in. You guys scheduled me up against "Tony Orlando and Dawn,"...
[Delivering the eulogy for Aunt Edna, flatly] Clark: O God, ease our suffering in this, our moment of great dispair. Yea, admit this good and decent woman into thine arms in the flock in thine heavenly area, up there. And Moab, he laid its down by th...
Ellen Griswold: Don't just blurt it out about Edna dying. Clark Griswald: How about if I ask him to play 20 Questions? [Clark knocks on the front door of Normie's house and rings the doorbell, but no anwser] Clark Griswald: Oh, for chrissake, he isn'...
Clark Griswald: [to the Dodge City bartender] Hey Knucklehead, set us up with four Red eye's will ya? [the bartender ignors him] Clark Griswald: Hey Yellabelly, I'm talking to you! [the bartender glares at Clark] Clark Griswald: Hey Tender foot, move...
Secretary Bailey: Sit down, Noodles. Make yourself comfortable. I'm glad you accepted my invitation. Noodles: Well, I was curious. So many important people in one place... Secretary Bailey: Yes. Well, the rats usually desert a sinking ship. But in my...
Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: Let's talk to her... [the gang chats up Carol] Patrick 'Patsy' Goldberg: So you left Detroit, huh? Peggy: Her and her husband just come in on weekends. Philip 'Cockeye' Stein: Yeah. Beats the seashore. Peggy: She takes on gu...
Principal Turner: Miss Riley, our job is to give these kids an education. Miss Riley: Mmm-hmm. Principal Turner: Not false hopes. Miss Riley: False hopes? Do you want me to sit quiet, let 'em breathe in coal dust the rest of their life? Principal Tur...
Pappy O'Daniel: Sounded to me like he was harboring a hateful grudge against the Soggy Bottom Boys on account of their rough and rowdy past. Looks like Homer Stokes is the kind of fellow who wants to cast the first stone. [boos] Pappy O'Daniel: Well,...
Westley: Roberts had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cabin and he told me his secret. 'I am not the Dread Pirate Roberts' he said. 'My name is Ryan; I inherited the ship from the previous Dread Pirate Roberts, just as you will i...
Vincent: And you know what they call a... a... a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? Jules: They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese? Vincent: No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is. Jules:...
Mayor: Have I told you that I was acquainted with your father, Captain? Capitán Vidal: No. I had no idea. Mayor: In Morocco. I knew him only briefly, but he left a great impression. Capitán Vidal: An excellent soldier. Mayor: The men in his battali...
Lady Eboshi: Stay here. Help me kill the Forest Spirit, Ashitaka. Prince Ashitaka: You would do that? Kill the very heart of the forest? Lady Eboshi: Without that ancient god, the animals here would be nothing but dumb beasts once again. Once the for...
[duelling with Jack, Barbossa suddenly throws away his sword] Barbossa: You can't beat me, Jack! [In reply, Jack stabs him with his sword. Barbossa simply sighs, pulls the blade out of his body and stabs Jack with it. He smiles as Jack totters - but ...
Elizabeth Bennet: What a beautiful pianoforte. Georgiana Darcy: My brother gave it to me. He shouldn't have. Mr. Darcy: Yes, I should've. Georgiana Darcy: Oh, very well then. Mr. Darcy: Easily persuaded, is she not? Elizabeth Bennet: Your unfortunate...
Robert Franklin: Mr. Jacobs, please! I am begging you, don't do this! Steven Jacobs: It would cost a small fortune to run lab test on all those chimps that would tell me what I already know! That they are contaminated! Robert Franklin: Please, Mr. Ja...
Mrs. Danvers: Oh, you've moved her brush, haven't you? [moves it slightly] Mrs. Danvers: There, that's better. Just as she always laid it down. "Come on, Danny, hair drill," she would say. [picks up the brush and goes through the motions of combing t...
Mr. Pink: I'm very sorry the government taxes their tips, that's fucked up. That ain't my fault. It would seem to me that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Look, if you ask me to sign something ...
Sheriff of Nottingham: [Little John is secretly holding a dagger on Prince John and demanding Robin Hood's release] There's something funny going on around here. Little John: [whispering] Now, P.J. tell my pal to kiss Maid Marian, or I've just found ...
