Charlie: When I was a little kid and I got scared, the Rain Man would come and sing to me. Susanna: Rain what? Charlie: Oh you know, one of those imaginary childhood friends. Susanna: What happened to him? Charlie: Nothing, I just grew up. Susanna: N...
Brandon Shaw: It is a little difficult trying to keep up with your romances. After me came Kenneth, now it's David. Why the, the switch from Kenneth to David anyway? Janet Walker: Obviously I think he's nicer. Brandon Shaw: Well, he's certainly riche...
Alexander Rance: This is Mr. Rance in the bridal suite and before you proffer your phony congratulations there is no Mrs. Rance residing with me and I'm all the better for it. Now, listen carefully because I am in no mood. I'm going to say this only ...
Skinner: Surely you don't expect me to believe this is your first time cooking? Linguini: It's not. Skinner: I KNEW IT! Linguini: It's my... second, third, fourth, fifth time. Monday was my first time. But I've taken out the garbage lots of times bef...
Jeff: [into the phone] He killed a dog last night because the dog was scratching around in the garden. You know why? Because he had something buried in that garden that the dog scented. Lt. Doyle: [voice] Like an old hambone? Jeff: I don't know what ...
Lt. Doyle: What do you say we all sit down and have a nice friendly drink too, hmm? Forget all about this. We can tell lies about the good old days during the war. Lisa: So that's it? You're through with the case? Lt. Doyle: There is no case to be so...
Jayden: Please don't be offended if I'm not very friendly, but I'm going to be living with my dad soon, and I don't really like wasting time on short-term relationships. So, you know, it's nothing personal. Luis: Wow. She seems like a really nice gir...
Lloyd Dobler: I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold,...
Han Solo: [cutting open his dead Tauntaun and shoving Luke inside] This may smell bad, kid, but it'll keep you warm until I get the shelter up... Ugh. And I thought they smelled bad on the *outside*.
Luke: I don't know. I feel like... Yoda: Feel like what? [Luke whips around and pulls out his blaster in defense] Luke: Like we're being watched. Yoda: Away put your weapon. I mean you no harm.
Darth Vader: Calrissian. Take the princess and the Wookie to my ship. Lando: You said they'd be left at the city under my supervision! Darth Vader: I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further.
C-3PO: [Chewbacca is carrying the dismembered C3PO on his back] If only you'd attached my legs, I wouldn't be in this ridiculous position. Now remember, Chewbacca, you have a responsibility to me, so don't do anything foolish!
Doyle: Believe in the Bible, do ya Karl? Karl: I don't understand all of it, but I reckon I understand a good deal of it. Doyle: Well I can't understand none of it. This one begat that one and that one begat this one, and lo and behold someone says s...
Blanche DuBois: I can't stand a naked light bulb, any more than I can a rude remark or a vulgar action. Mitch: I guess we must strike you as being a pretty rough bunch. Blanche DuBois: I'm very adaptable to circumstances.
Pete: It's four in the fucking morning! Shaun: It's Saturday! Pete: No, it's not. It's fucking Sunday. And I've got to go to fucking work in four fucking hours 'cos every other fucker in my fucking department is fucking ill! Now can you see why I'm S...
[from trailer] [the Enterprise crew steer a ship towards a closing portal] Spock: Captain, this ship will not fit. James T. Kirk: IT WILL FIT, WILL FIT, WILL FIT! [the ship scrapes through] James T. Kirk: See, I told you it would fit! Spock: I am not...
Bones: Why the hell did he surrender? James T. Kirk: I don't know. But he just took out a squad of Klingons single-handedly. I want to know how. Bones: Sounds like we have a superman on board. James T. Kirk: You tell me.
Doc: The, uh, Princess will sleep in our beds upstairs. Snow White: But, where will you sleep? Doc: Oh, we'll be quite comfortable down here, in, uh, in, uh. Grumpy: In a pig's eye! Doc: In a pig's eye. Sty. No! No! I mean we'll be comfortable, won't...
Joe: [to Spats, about the murders they just witnessed] We didn't see anything. Did we? Jerry: No! [laughs nervously] Jerry: Nothing. Besides, it's none of our business if you guys wanna bump each other off, we don't - [Joe nudges him to shut him up]
Sugar: [on the yacht Junior's pretending he owns] Which is the port and which is the starboard? Junior: Well that depends. That depends on whether you're coming or going. I mean, *normally*, normally, the aft is on the other side of the stern. But - ...
Lord Farquaad: [to his knights] The winner of this tournament - no, no, the privilege - will have the honour of rescuing the beautiful Princess Fiona from the fiery pit of that dragon! Should the winner fail to return, the runner-up shall take his pl...
