[Barbara's first impressions of Sheba as she watches her in the playground] Barbara Covett: [voiceover] Hard to read the wispy novice. Is she a sphinx or simply stupid? Artfully dishevelled today. The tweedy tramp coat is an abhorrence. It seems to s...
Arthur Jensen: I started as a salesman, Mr. Beale. I sold sewing machines and automobile parts, hair brushes and electronic equipment. [puts arm around Beale's shoulders] Arthur Jensen: They say I can sell anything. I'd like to try to sell something ...
Pop Fisher: You know my mama wanted me to be a farmer. Roy Hobbs: My dad wanted me to be a baseball player. Pop Fisher: Well you're better than any player I ever had. And you're the best God damn hitter I ever saw. Suit up.
Audrey Griswold: [Looking at Vicki's trophy for hog raising] Uh, don't take this personally, Vicki; but being a farmer isn't too cool you know. Cousin Vicki: Oh, yeah? Well, how cool is this? [Reaches under her bed and pulls out a shoebox full of mar...
Aunt Edna: Did you tell Clark and Ellen the good news? Catherine: [nervously] Uh, no; I was just about to. Ellen Griswold: Good news, what good news, Catherine? Aunt Edna: You're driving me to Phoenix! [Clark begins choking on his hamburger]
Sharkey: [O'Donnell has been shot in the leg by Crowning's henchmen] Don't worry, Jimmy. With one leg a little shy, you're gonna take giant steps. James Conway O'Donnell: Yeah... always one step behind you, eh Sharkey?
[Max shows Noodles his latest purchase] Noodles: What is it? Max: It's a throne. It was a gift to a pope. It cost me about 800 bucks. Carol: It's from the 17th century. Noodles: What are you going to do with it? Max: I'm sitting on it.
Rusty: You'd need at least a dozen guys doing a combination of cons. Danny: Like what, do you think? Rusty: Off the top of my head, I'd say you're looking at a Boeski, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros and a Leon Spinks, not to mention the bigge...
McMurphy: [about shock treatments] They was giving me ten thousand watts a day, you know, and I'm hot to trot! The next woman takes me on's gonna light up like a pinball machine and pay off in silver dollars!
Boss Spearman: I see they hobbled you. Percy: It's been a while since I was in a fight. I panicked. Fell back, like to have broke my foot. Boss Spearman: Ornery old fool. Percy: Well, or that damned Cuban cigar got me riled up.
Sue Barlow: So is it marriage that scares you two, or putting down roots? Boss Spearman: No. Who'd have him? All rangy and mangy like a rough old dog. Charley Waite: How about I hold your head under water for just a little while?
Boss Spearman: I aim to kill Baxter and those that done this, and if that marshal gets in the way, I'm gonna kill him too. So you best get your mind right about what's got to be done, Charlie. Charley Waite: I got no problem with killing, Boss. Never...
Boss Spearman: I believe you have a friend of ours in your jail. His name's Mose Harrison. Sheriff Poole: Yeah, I got him here. He started a fight in the general store. Boss Spearman: Mose don't start fights. He just finishes them.
Samir: No, not again. I... why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window. Michael Bolton: You and me both, man. That thing is lucky I'm not armed. Samir: Piece o...
Rob Newhouse: Conjugal visits? Mmmm. Not that I know of. Y'know, minimum-security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is: kick someone's ass the first day, or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all ...
Michael Bolton: Tom, every week you say you're going to lose your job and you're still here. Tom Smykowski: Not this time. I'll bet I'm the first one laid off! Just the thought of having to go to the state unemployment office and stand in line with t...
Soggy Bottom Customer: Do you have the Soggy Bottom Boys performing "Man of Constant Sorrow"? Record Store Clerk: No ma'am. We got a new shipment in yesterday. Sorry, but we just can't keep 'em on our shelves.
Lone Watie: [Josie has walked up on Lone and Moonlight having sex] Howdy. Josey Wales: Howdy. Lone Watie: Somethin' wrong? Josey Wales: Uh, no. Lone Watie: I guess you were right. [smiles] Lone Watie: I ain't that old after all.
Inigo Montoya: Is very strange. I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, I don't know what to do with the rest of my life. Westley: Have you ever considered piracy? You'd make a wonderful Dread Pirate Roberts.
Westley: I mean, if we only had a wheelbarrow, that would be something. Inigo Montoya: Where we did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had? Fezzik: Over the albino, I think. Westley: Well, why didn't you list that among our assets in the first place?
Inigo Montoya: Let's go. Fezzik: Where? Inigo Montoya: Find the man in black obviously. Fezzik: But don't you know where he is. Inigo Montoya: Don't bother me with trifles. After 20 years, at last my father's soul will be at peace. There will be bloo...
