Ham Porter: *play ball!* Hurry up, batter. This better be a short game, I gotta get home for lunch. [Pitcher pitches and the batter fails to even swing] Ham Porter: Haha, that's one. [cuts to new pitch] Ham Porter: [to the batter] You know, if my dog...
Batiatus: Marcus Licinius Crassus. Most noble radiance, first general of the Republic, father and defender of Rome, honour my house. Bless it with your presence. Wine! Sweetmeats! Can't you see that Their Honours are exhausted? Have the goodness to s...
Sweeney Todd: Noooooo! Would no one have mercy on her? Mrs. Lovett: So it's you. Benjamin Barker Sweeney Todd: Where's Lucy? Where's my wife? Mrs. Lovett: She poisoned herself, arsenic from the apothecary round the corner, I tried to stop her, but sh...
Sweeney Todd: [sings] Rest now, my friends. Mrs. Lovett: [sings in unison] Never you fear, Mr. Todd. Sweeney Todd: Soon I'll unfold you. Mrs. Lovett: [unison] You can move in here, Mr. Todd. Sweeney Todd: Soon you'll know... Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovet...
Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Permission to speak freely, sir? Spock: I welcome it. Leonard 'Bones' McCoy: Do you? OK, then. Are you out of your Vulcan mind? Are you making a logical choice, sending Kirk away? Probably. But, the right one? You know, back ho...
Bishop: [toasting the princes] To the new King of Stormhold. Whichever of you fine fellows it might be. [they acknowledge him and sip their grog. The Bishop chokes and collapses forward, dead] Tertius: Hmm. [Tertius chortles nervously as they eye eac...
Han Solo: Han Solo. I'm captain of the Millennium Falcon. Chewie here tells me you're lookin' for passage to the Alderaan system? Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi: Yes indeed, if it's a fast ship. Han Solo: Fast ship? You've never heard of the Millennium Falcon? B...
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Ooh, but I still smell her. [inhales deeply through nose] Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Women! What can you say? Who made 'em? God must have been a fuckin' genius. The hair... They say the hair is everything, you know. Have you ever bur...
Randy: [Frank and Charlie have arrived unexpected at Frank's brother's house for Thanksgiving. Randy opens the door and the smile on his face disappears] Yes? Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Yes! Who is this? Randy: It's Randy. Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Randy? You...
Buzz Lightyear #2: Hang tight everyone, I'm going to let go of the wall. [they all look up at him shocked] Slinky Dog: Huh? Rex: What? Mr. Potato Head: He wouldn't! Buzz Lightyear #2: One! Hamm: He would. Buzz Lightyear #2: Two! Slinky Dog, Rex, Mr...
John Connor: [holds up robot arm] Will this melt in the lava? The Terminator: Yes, Throw it in. John Connor: Adios! [John hurls the arm into the steel] The Terminator: And the chip. Sarah Connor: [in relief] It's over. The Terminator: No. There is on...
T-1000: Are you the legal guardian of John Connor? Todd Voight: That's right, Officer. What's he done now? T-1000: Could I speak with him please? Janelle Voight: You could if he were here. He just took off on his bike. So, he could be anywhere. T-100...
School Bully: Keith. Keithy. oi, oi. [whistles] Shaun: Talkin' to me? [nods] Shaun: What? School Bully: I never knew Keith Chegwin had a son. Shaun: Piss off. School Bully: What the fuck are they? Shaun: These, I'm wearing them for a bet, what's your...
Tucker: [Dale is attracted to one of the college co-eds at the gas station, but hesitates to try to go talk to her] She's just human. Why don't you go over and talk to her? Dale: Talk to her? What... What in the world would I say? Tucker: I don't kno...
Pawnbroker: Burnt my fingers, man. Louis Winthorpe III: I beg your pardon? Pawnbroker: Man, that watch is so hot, it's smokin'. Louis Winthorpe III: Hot? Do you mean to imply stolen? Pawnbroker: I'll give you 50 bucks for it. Louis Winthorpe III: Fif...
[last lines] Alabama: Amid the chaos of that day, when all I could hear was the thunder of gunshots, and all I could smell was the violence in the air, I look back and am amazed that my thoughts were so clear and true, that three words went through m...
Immigration Officer: [to the Fat Lady] Have you brought any fruits or vegetables on the planet? Fat Lady: [with a big smile] Two weeks. Immigration Officer: Excuse me? Fat Lady: [ticcing with her mouth] Two weeks. Twooo weeeks! Wweeeoo... Richter: [w...
Richter: You wanted to see me sir. Vilos Cohaagen: Richter, you know why I'm such a happy person? Richter: No, sir. Vilos Cohaagen: Because I have one of the greatest jobs in the solar system. As long as the turbinium keeps flowing, I can do anything...
Construction Worker Steve: [directing a large construction vehicle backing up] Okay, keep her coming. Keep coming. And stop. Stop. Stop! [it starts to run over Carl's mailbox] Carl Fredricksen: [watching from his doorway] Why... Hey! Hey you! [Steve ...
Marwood: Parkin's been. There's the supper. [a live chicken is standing on the table] Withnail: What are we supposed to do with that? Marwood: Eat it. Withnail: Eat it? Fucker's alive. Marwood: Yeah, I know that, you've got to kill it. Withnail: Me? ...
Jake: I might come and see you lads in the week. I might fetch you up a rabbit. Withnail: We don't want a rabbit, we want a pheasant. Jake: Listen, you young prat. I ain't got no pheasants, ain't got no birds. No more than you have. Withnail: Course ...
