Keith: I had it all figured out, so I cut out early? Who cares? It's probably a good thing. Life sucks, anyway. Then I met you, and it got weird. And you were so amazing. And I... Natalie: What? What? Keith: I just wanted a little more time. So all i...
Natalie: Why didn't you tell me? Keith: Everybody bites it sooner or later. I'm just in the AP class, ahead of the game. Natalie: Always the joke. Keith: Al says it's a phase. It'll stop soon, but hey, at least it wasn't about the sympathy for the si...
Prince Feisal: My friend Lawrence, if I may call him that. "My friend Lawrence". How many men will claim the right to use that phrase? How proudly! He longs for the greenness of his native land. He pines for the Gothic cottages of Surrey, is it not? ...
Gary: So who's the gov'? Who we doing this for? Barry the Baptist: You're doing it for me, that's all you need to know. You know because you need to know. Gary: I see. One of them "on a need to know basis" things is it. Like one of them James Bond fi...
Brian: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand? Honestly! Girl: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity. Brian: What? Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah! Followers: ...
[first lines] Wise Man #1: Ahem! Brian's mother: Oh! [falls over in chair] Brian's mother: Who are you? Wise Man #2: We are three wise men. Brian's mother: What? Wise Man #1: We are three wise men. Brian's mother: Well, what are you doing creeping ar...
Brian: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again? Ex-Leper: Uh, I could do that sir, yeah. Yeah, I could do that I suppose. What I was thinking was I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the mid...
[On the run from Roman soldiers, Brain lands on a public stage prophets. Brian quickly decides to disgues himself as one] Brian: [Unsure and stuttering] Don't... pass judgement... on other people, or you might be judged yourself. Passer-by: [as if sh...
Fred Madison: How did you meet that asshole Andy, anyway? Renee Madison: It was a long time ago. I met him at this place called Moke's. We... became friends. He told me about a job... Fred Madison: What job? Renee Madison: Ah... I don't remember. Any...
Col. Boyer: [Narrating, as he makes out an official document and affixes his wax seal] By the power vested in me by Her Majesty, Queen Victoria, I hereby declare that, after much deliberation on the matter, the Cantonment at Champaner be dissolved, a...
Witch King: [taking Eowyn by the throat] You fool. No man can kill me. Die now. [Merry stabs the Witch King from behind; the Witch King shrieks and falls to his knees. Eowyn rises and pulls off her helm, her hair falls down over her shoulder] Eowyn: ...
Mufasa: Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king, you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope. Young Simba: But, Dad, don't we eat the antelope? Mufasa: Yes...
Zazu: I'm here to announce that King Mufasa's on his way. So you'd better have a good excuse for missing the ceremony this morning. Scar: [sees the mouse scampering off] Oh, now look, Zazu, you made me lose my lunch. Zazu: Ha! You'll lose more than t...
Humbert Humbert: You know, I've missed you terribly. Lolita Haze: I haven't missed you. In fact, I've been revoltingly unfaithful to you. Humbert Humbert: Oh? Lolita Haze: But it doesn't matter a bit, because you've stopped caring anyway. Humbert Hum...
Benny: [suddenly appears] Hey, I'm Ben! But you can call me Benny! And I can build a spaceship. Watch this. [starts building a spaceship] Benny: Spaceship! Spaceship! Spaceship! Spaceship! Spaceship! Lucy: No! You can't. The skies are surrounded. Ben...
[Sunshine has brought her widow sisters] Sunshine: It is very sad. They have no husbands and they cry. Jack Crabb: Well, that's too bad; I'm sorry. Sunshine: Digging Bear had a baby and lost it. And so did Corn Woman. But Little Elk had no baby at al...
Prince Eric: Well, what do you say? Would you like to join me on a tour of my kingdom tomorrow? [Ariel nods with delight] Grimsby: Wonderful! Now, let's eat before this crab wanders off my plate. [He puts his fork down onto his plate and is surprised...
Judge: Monsieur le maire, I know you to be a kind man, but this... Jean Valjean: A kind? A kind man? When I was in prison I was as ignorant and mean and devious as these men here, but not kind. And I wish I could keep my mouth shut and let this poor ...
Captain Beauvais: [pointing a pistol at Valjean with a trembling hand] Are you a convict? Is that true? Jean Valjean: Yes. Captain Beauvais: Where's the inspector in there? Jean Valjean: Inside Captain Beauvais: Did you kill him? [Valjean shakes his ...
Chad: You're like the woman from The Omen. You've given birth to a demon, and now it's gonna kill you. Liza Weld: You probably identify with the kid from The Omen, right? Chad: Ooh! Liza Weld: See, you're an only child, aren't you? Chad: I gotta say,...
Karen Clarke: I was going to eat lunch in here. Can you digest? Do you want some food? Lt. Gen. George Miller: Oh, yes, I can digest, yes. Karen Clarke: Chinese OK? Lt. Gen. George Miller: Why don't you order me some little mammals? A little bunny an...