Bert: Uncle Albert, I got a jolly joke I saved for just such an occasion. Would you like to hear it? Uncle Albert: [sobbing] I'd be so grateful. Bert: Well it's about me granddad, see, and one night he has a nightmare. He was so scared, he chewed his...
Craig Patrick: Hey, Doc, let me ask you a question. Doc: Well, of course. Craig Patrick: You've worked with Herb for a long time, right? Doc: I've known Herb for quite some time. Craig Patrick: So let me ask you, does he always treat his players like...
Captain Paul Prescott: [about Alicia] I don't like this, I don't like her coming here. Walter Beardsley: She's had me worried for some time. A woman of that sort. Devlin: What sort is that, Mr. Beardsley? Walter Beardsley: Oh, I don't think any of us...
Maximillian Cohen: Restate my assumptions: One, Mathematics is the language of nature. Two, Everything around us can be represented and understood through numbers. Three: If you graph the numbers of any system, patterns emerge. Therefore, there are p...
Jane Bennet: How do you like it here in Hertfordshire, Mr. Bingley? Mr. Bingley: Very much. Elizabeth Bennet: The library at Netherfield, I've heard, is one of the finest in the country. Mr. Bingley: Yes, fills me with guilt. Not a very good reader, ...
The Count: To all our listeners, this is what I have to say - God bless you all. And as for you bastards in charge, don't dream it's over. Years will come, years will go, and politicians will do fuck all to make the world a better place. But all over...
Harry Goldfarb: I always thought you were the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Marion: Really? Harry Goldfarb: Ever since I first saw you. Marion: That's nice Harry. That makes me feel really good. you know other people have told me that before ...
Immigration Officer #1: Okay, so what do you call yourself? ¿Cómo se llama? Tony Montana: Antonio Montana. And you, what you call yourself? Immigration Officer #2: Where'd you learn to speak the English, Tony? Tony Montana: Uh, in a school. And my ...
[Holmes is spying on Blackwood's sacrifice. A henchman tries to sneak up on him, but Watson grabs him and puts him in a hold] Dr. John Watson: I like the hat. Sherlock Holmes: Thanks, I just picked it up. Dr. John Watson: You remember your revolver? ...
Tiffany: Hey! Pat: What the fuck? I'm married! Tiffany: So am I! Pat: What the fuck are you doing? Your husband's dead! Tiffany: Where's your wife? Pat: You're crazy! Tiffany: I'm not the one who just got out of that hospital in Baltimore. Pat: And I...
Martin: [speaking to Debbie for the first time in five years] Debbie, Debbie, Debbie, don't you remember? I'm Martin, I'm Martin, your brother, remember? Debbie, remember back. Martin: [pause] Do you remember how I used to let you ride my horse? And ...
Elinor Dashwood: [making painstaking conversation] How is Mrs Ferrars? Fanny: My mother is always in excellent health, thank you. My brother Robert is in town with her this season and quite the most popular bachelor in London. He has his own barouche...
Sweeney Todd: [sung to his razor] You there, my friend... /Come, let me hold you... Mrs. Lovett: [sung] I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd... /If you only knew, Mr Todd... Sweeney Todd: Now, with a sigh / You grow warm in my hand. Mrs. Lovett: [unison] Oo...
Sweeney Todd: [sings] And if I never hear your voice, / My turtledove, my dear, / I still have reason to rejoice: / The way ahead is clear, / Johanna... Anthony Hope: [sings] I feel you, Johanna... Sweeney Todd: And in that darkness when I'm blind / ...
Doc Holliday: What did you ever want? Wyatt Earp: Just to live a normal life. Doc Holliday: There's no normal life, Wyatt, it's just life. Get on with it. Wyatt Earp: Don't know how. Doc Holliday: Sure you do. Say goodbye to me. Go grab that spirited...
V: [during his BTN broadcast] I thought we could mark this November the 5th a day that is, sadly, a day that is no longer remembered by taking some time out of our daily lives to sit down and have a little chat. There are, of course, those who do not...
Eddie Valiant: What's that? Lt. Santino: Remember how they always thought there wasn't a way to kill a toon? Well, Doom found a way. Turpentine, acetone, benzene. He calls it "The Dip." Judge Doom: I'll catch the rabbit, Mr. Valiant. And I'll try him...
Bob Woodward: Segretti crisscrossed the country, at least a dozen times. And always stayed in cities where there were Democratic primaries. Carl Bernstein: So if the break-in was just one incident in a campaign of sabotage that began a whole year bef...
Lizzy: [talking to Lyla on the phone] Lyla? Lyla Novacek: I'm in New York Lizzy: What are you doing in New York Lyla Novacek: It's strange, I've always felt that he was alive. I mean, used to lay in bed at night and I swear I could hear him. I swear ...
Katharine Hepburn: I've been famous - for better or worse - for a long time now... I wonder if you know what that really means. Howard Hughes: I got my fair share of press on Hell's Angels. I'm used to it. Katharine Hepburn: Are you? Katharine Hepbur...
Old Biff: You always did have a way with women. Young Biff: Get the hell out of my car, old man! Old Biff: You wanna marry that girl, Biff? I can help make it happen. Young Biff: Oh-oh, yeah, who are you, Miss Lonelyhearts? Old Biff: Just get in the ...