Zero: What happened? M. Gustave: What happened, my dear Zero, is I beat the living shit out of a sniveling little runt called Pinky Bandinski, who had the gall to question my virility. Because, if there's one thing we've learned from penny dreadfuls,...
Enid: [about Seymour's garage sale] It was so cute how he had his own little bags. I thought I was going to start crying. Rebecca: Yeah, he should totally just kill himself. [she looks through the classified ads in a newpaper] Rebecca: Oh, here's one...
Kevin McCallister: [apprehensively] I made my family disappear. [thinks back to family members saying bad things about him] Megan McCallister: Kevin, you're completely helpless! Linnie McCallister: You know, Kevin, you're what the French call les inc...
[Pauline and Juliet are planning to run away to Hollywood and meet their favorite actors, such as James Mason and Mario Lanza] Juliet Hulme: As soon as those bods in Hollywood cop a look at us, they'll be falling over themselves! Pauline Parker: Oh, ...
Harry: I just wondered if... [bird squawks loudly in the background] Harry: Ijustwanderedifmaybeyouwantedtogototheballwithme! Cho Chang: Sorry, I didn't catch that. Harry: I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to go to the ball with me... Cho Chan...
Gandalf: Well, why does it matter? He's back! Thorin Oakenshield: It matters. I want to know - why did you come back? Bilbo Baggins: Look, I know you doubt me, I know you always have. And you're right... I often think of Bag End. I miss my books, and...
Elrond: This is Orcrist, the Goblin Cleaver, a famous blade. Made by the High Elves of the West, my kin. [hands it back to Thorin] Elrond: May it serve you well. [unsheathes Gandalf's sword] Elrond: And this is Glamdring, the Foe-Hammer, sword of the...
[first lines] Aibileen Clark: I was born 1911, Chicksaw County, Piedmont Plantation. Woman: And did you know as a girl growing up that one day you'd be a maid? Aibileen Clark: Yes ma'am, I did. Woman: And you knew that because... Aibileen Clark: My m...
Hamlet: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth, forgone all custom of exercises; and indeed, it goes so heavily with my disposition that this goodly frame, the earth, seems to me a sterile promontory; this most excellent canopy, ...
Bellatrix Lestrange: [walking into the astronomy tower followed by Death Eaters] Well look what we have here. Dumbledore wandless, alone and cornered in his own castle! Well done, Draco! Albus Dumbledore: Good evening, Bellatrix. I think introduction...
Neville Longbottom: So how are we going to get to London? Harry Potter: Look, it's not that I don't appreciate everything you've done, all of you, but - but I've got you into enough trouble as it is. [walks past everyone] Neville Longbottom: Dumbledo...
Miss Kelly: Well what shall I say to Mr. Dowd? What do I do? He'll probably be so furious he'll refuse to come down here. Dr. Sanderson: Look, Miss Kelly. He's probably fit to be tied, but he's a man, isn't he? Miss Kelly: I guess so. His name's *Mis...
Ron: [Harry and Ron arrive late to Transfiguration, relieved that Professor McGonagall isn't there yet] Whew, made it. Can you imagine the look on old McGonagall's face if we were late? [the cat sitting at the head of the class suddenly transforms in...
[after catching Harry scribbling on his paper] Professor Severus Snape: Tell me, what would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood? [Harry doesn't answer] Professor Severus Snape: You don't know? Well, let's try again. ...
Lauren Gustafson: Mom, my barrettes are not on the couch! Justine Hanna: Wear the blue ones! Lauren Gustafson: I don't want to wear the blue ones. They don't match! Justine Hanna: Did you check the bathroom? Lauren Gustafson: I checked everywhere. Ju...
Tom Stall: [seeing that Leland and Orser mean trouble] Sir, we don't - we don't carry much cash here. You gentlemen are certainly welcome to all of it. Leland Jones: Oh, I know that, asshole. Believe me. I... do... [Leland pulls his gun and points it...
[Indiana Jones walks over after climbing up from the cliff and Professor Henry Jones grabs him in hug] Professor Henry Jones: I thought I'd lost you boy. Indiana Jones: I thought you had too Sir. Professor Henry Jones: [moves back and attempts to com...
Lestat: The trick is not to think about it. See that one there? Widow St. Clair. She had the gorgeous young fop murder her husband. Louis: How do you know? Lestat: Read her thoughts. [Louis looks at him inquisitively] Lestat: *Read* her thoughts. Lou...
Hogarth Hughes: I thought you might like, you know, a bedtime story. I have some really cool ones. Mad Magazine - very funny. The Spirit - very cool. Boy's Life - eh. Oh, here. This is Superman. He's a lot like you. Crash-landed on Earth, didn't know...
Nick: Hey look, mister. We serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk fast, and we don't need any characters around to give the joint "atmosphere". Is that clear, or do I have to slip you my left for a convincer? George Bailey: [interven...
Dr. Ian Malcolm: Come on, we gotta get out of here! Now! Now! Right now! Let's go. The kids? [the T. Rex emerges from the trees and roars and begins chasing the Jeep] Dr. Ian Malcolm: Must go faster! [T. Rex catching up to the Jeep] Dr. Ellie Sattler...
