Danny Witwer: Looks like we won't be working together after all, John. Now put the gun down. I don't hear a red ball. [Sirens begin going off, the same sirens that usually indicate a red ball- Witwer's smile drops]
John Anderton: Why don't you cut the cute act, Danny boy, and tell me what it is you're looking for? Danny Witwer: Flaws. John Anderton: There hasn't been a murder in six years. There's nothing wrong with this system it is... Danny Witwer: Perfect I ...
Jonathan Mardukas: You ever had sex with an animal Jack? Remember those chickens on the Indian reservation? There were some good looking chickens there Jack. You know, between us... Jack Walsh: Yeah, there were a couple there I might've taken a shot ...
Paul Sheldon: The Sistine Chapel? Annie Wilkes: YEEEAAAHHH! That and "Misery's Child", those are the only two divine things in this world! [Annie chases her pet pig out of the room, then turns around and makes pig oink noises at Paul. Paul smiles thi...
Father John Patrick 'Dago Red' Mulcahy: [the camp is listening to Frank Burns and Hot Lips fooling around over the radio] Is this 'The Bickersons'? I love them. Duke Forrest: Who? Father John Patrick 'Dago Red' Mulcahy: The Battling Bickersons. I lov...
Ilena: I'm pregnant. Caine: Well, what the fuck you tellin' me for? Ilena: What? So you just gonna dog me? Caine: It ain't mine. Ilena: Look, you the only one I was with! Caine: Stop lying, alright? Besides, I had the jimmy on extra tight.
Vinny Gambini: [Vinny and Lisa receive their breakfast orders, Vinny looks at his skeptically] Whats this over here? Grits Cook: You never heard of grits? Vinny Gambini: Sure I've heard of grits. I just never actually *seen* a grit before.
Clown: [singing] [looking at a present Jack brought] Clown: It's a bat! Man Under the Stairs: [singing] Will it bend? Clown: [singing] It's a rat! Man Under the Stairs: [singing] Will it break? Undersea Gal: [singing] Perhaps it's the head that I've ...
Jack Skellington: We pick up an oversized sock, and hang it like this on the wall... Mr. Hyde: Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot? Smaller Mr. Hyde: Let me see, let me look. Smallest Mr. Hyde: Is it rotted and covered with gook?
Johnny: [Noticing nobody in the cemetary] Why isn't no one around? Barbara: Well, it's late. You could of gotten up earlier. Johnny: Well, look, I already lost an hour of sleep to the time change. Barbara: I think you complain just to hear yourself t...
Audrey Griswold: [Looking at Vicki's trophy for hog raising] Uh, don't take this personally, Vicki; but being a farmer isn't too cool you know. Cousin Vicki: Oh, yeah? Well, how cool is this? [Reaches under her bed and pulls out a shoebox full of mar...
Danny: Ten oughta do it, don't you think? Rusty: [Stares of in silence, not looking at Danny] Danny: You think we need one more? Rusty: [Silence] Danny: You think we need one more. Rusty: [Silence] Danny: All right, we'll get one more. Rusty: [Blinks...
Rusty: You'd need at least a dozen guys doing a combination of cons. Danny: Like what, do you think? Rusty: Off the top of my head, I'd say you're looking at a Boeski, a Jim Brown, a Miss Daisy, two Jethros and a Leon Spinks, not to mention the bigge...
Tom Smykowski: Well-well look. I already told you: I deal with the god damn customers so the engineers don't have to. I have people skills; I am good at dealing with people. Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?
[last lines] Pan: And it is said that the Princess returned to her father's kingdom. That she reigned there with justice and a kind heart for many centuries. That she was loved by her people. And that she left behind small traces of her time on Earth...
David: What can I get you two? Skip: Well, Bud, I think I'll have my usual cheeseburger and a Cherry Coke. Jennifer: Oh, I don't know Bud... I think I'll have a salad and an Evian water... [Bud gives her a dirty look] Jennifer: Cheeseburger it is!
Diane: Look, I'm the one who has had to live with this freaky thing all day. It's like another side of nature, that you and I aren't qualified to understand. When you overreact, it makes what happened much too important. Steve: No one is going into t...
Dr. Lesh: Some people believe that when you die there is a wonderful light. As bright as the sun but it doesn't hurt to look into it. All the answers to all the questions you want to know are inside that light. And when you walk to it... you become a...
Norrington: No additional shot nor powder, a compass that doesn't point north, [looks at Jack's sword] Norrington: And I half expected it to be made of wood. You are without doubt the worst pirate I've ever heard of. Jack Sparrow: But you have heard ...
[the other prisoners are whistling and calling for the dog with the keys in his mouth] Jack Sparrow: You can keep doing that forever, the dog is NEVER going to move. Seedy Looking Prisoner: Well excuse me if we haven't resorted ourselves to the gallo...
Jack Sparrow: [upon seeing Elizabeth plunge into the ocean] Will you be saving her then? Mullroy: I can't swim. [Jack looks at Murtogg... no he won't do either] Jack Sparrow: Pride of the King's navy you are. Do not lose these.
