For all of life’s problems, blame my father. He was never there for me, not even at conception.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..The difference between you and him and him and me isn’t different at all: we’re all different.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..Witnesses in my dream can place me in my bed, asleep, at the time of the murder.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..I lost my faith in my faithlessness. I believe I’m a nonbeliever now.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..I made her a bathing suit—out of saran wrap. We made love like leftovers.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..I am the bathtub of love, but all Agatha ever wanted was a shower.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..I found your love like I found religion: in an aluminum trashcan in the middle of the Utah desert.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..I hate when women give me that look. That overlook.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..About adultery: Don’t go looking for pancakes when you have flapjacks at home.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..Love is two souls occupying one bed. Though not a bunk bed.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..Two things in life are certain: uncertainty, and I’m not sure about the second thing.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..I Google myself to find out who I am as a person.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..I am the burrito in the taco. Hold your skepticism, and the lettuce.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..Agatha was so tight-fisted she could squeeze a penny and strangle Abe Lincoln.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..Me and my grandma are getting married. Just not to each other.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..Agatha was a woman. All women are mortal. Therefore, Agatha must be dead.” -Orafoura
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..My favorite thing to do is watch the radiation box. Not the TV, but the microwave.
A Story That Talks about Talking Is Like Chatter to Chattering Teeth, and Every Set of Dentures Can Attest to the Fact That No..