When somebody asks me if they can fix me a sandwich, I say, “No thanks. The one I have isn’t broken.
Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For YouHe had an ugly mug. Yes, both his face and his coffee cup were hideous.
Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For YouMustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.
Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For YouMy name is Monika Ora Moniker, but you can call me MOM. Or dad will do just fine.
Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For YouI’m not an unproductive liar—I’m a productive fiction writer. I make stuff. I make stuff up.
Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For YouI ate leftover karate chops, before they could smash through the Styrofoam container holding them.
Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For YouFootball is like a chess match—a chess match where you can beat the shit out of your opponent.
Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For YouIf love is free, I can afford it. Still, I’d much rather steal it.
Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For YouShe stole my heart, so I stole it back—plus some other items of value.
Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For YouThrough a history book, I can time travel. Especially a history book from the future.
Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For YouI’m productive. I make things like directions. Mostly I just make things up.
Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For YouI didn’t apply for a job this morning, but I did apply deodorant. So I have that going for me.
Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For YouNothing is going on under his skull. All his neural activity happens between his hips.
Whenever You're Gone, I'm Here For You