Rollo: Well, well... If it isn't MacGuff the crime dog! Back for another test? Juno MacGuff: I think the last one was defective. The plus sign looked more like a division sign so I remain unconvinced. [Rollo pulls the bathroom key out of reach] Rollo...
Tommy: This is amazing! John Reilly: Hello! It's been a long time! Nokes: Who the fuck are you guys? [John and Tommy each pull up a chair and sit down at Nokes' table] Nokes: Hey, who the fuck asked you to sit down? Tommy: I thought you'd be happy to...
Bruce Wayne: I know who you are. Let me tell you about this guy I know, Jack. Mean kid. Bad seed. Hurt people. The Joker: I like him already. [laughs] Bruce Wayne: Now you know the problem was... he got sloppy. You know? Crazy. He started to lose it....
[last lines] [in the waiting room, Betelgeuse is sitting next to a witch doctor, who is next in line] Beetlejuice: Pardon me. Did you do that? [points to explorer with shrunken head] Beetlejuice: That's very nice work. Let me ask you something. How d...
Noah Vosen: When we're finished with Daniels, send the asset after her. We find Parsons, we find Bourne. Pamela Landy: Noah, what are you doing? Noah Vosen: Not now. Pamela Landy: I want to know what's going on. Noah Vosen: I said not now. Pamela Lan...
He Zhiwu, Cop 223: Any canned pineapple that expires on May 1? Cashier: You know what day it is today? He Zhiwu, Cop 223: April 30? Cashier: Right. You think we sell outdated stock? He Zhiwu, Cop 223: There's still two hours to go. Cashier: Nobody wo...
J. Edgar Hoover: I have to wonder if you people realize the level of responsibility you carry. From my way of thinking, Motion Pictures are potentially the most influential form of communication ever invented. And there's no control over it. Your mes...
Randal Graves: Before he was the Mad Ducats guy, he was just Pickle Fucker. You see, freshman year, the seniors would hunt us down and put us through what they called "initiations." They'd stuff us into lockers or throw us in the girl's shower room n...
Randal Graves: Man, you must love this fucking guy, 'cause he's the biggest pussy I ever met, the dude who lives his life according to everyone else's standards. "I have to go down to Florida and get married because that what's expected of me." And t...
[on his past relationship with Caitlin] Dante Hicks: She was supposed to meet Brad Michaelson in a dark bedroom. She picked the wrong one. She didn't even know I was at the party. Randal Graves: Oh, my God. Dante Hicks: Great story, huh? Randal Grave...
Father Leary: Things you hear in confession these days. It's depressing. Father James Lavelle: You have to detach yourself from it. We're here to provide solace. Your personal feelings don't come into it. Father Leary: I know that. What do you take m...
Harvey 'Big Daddy' Pollitt: Why did you and Brick suddenly decide to drive up from New Orleans? Margaret "Maggie" Pollitt: For your birthday, what else? Harvey 'Big Daddy' Pollitt: I had a birthday last year and the year before that. Didn't see you t...
Ilsa: Play it once, Sam. For old times' sake. Sam: [lying] I don't know what you mean, Miss Ilsa. Ilsa: Play it, Sam. Play "As Time Goes By." Sam: [lying] Oh, I can't remember it, Miss Ilsa. I'm a little rusty on it. Ilsa: I'll hum it for you. Da-dy-...
Nicky Santoro: [voice-over] The first one to skip was John Nance. He found a nice, warm, secluded place in Costa Rica. He thought nobody would find him there. [Gunshots are heard. Nance runs onto the veranda of his mansion, breaks a door panel and ru...
[Murdoch opens the door to what should be Shell Beach and instead sees the same sign he saw earlier advertising it. Murdoch walks up to the sign, confused] Dr. Schreber: There is no ocean, John. There is nothing beyond the city. The only place home e...
Hoke Colburn: [Hoke walks in, Boolie and Daisy are there to confront him about a missing can of salmon] Mornin', Miss Daisy. I think it's gettin' ready to clear up out there! Oh, 'scuse me, Mr. Werthan! Boolie Werthan: Hoke, I think we're gonna have ...
Gambol's Bodyguard: Yo, Gambol, there's somebody here for you. They say they just killed the Joker. Gambol's Bodyguard: They brought the body. [a body bag is brought in and dropped on the table; Gambol unzips it, revealing Joker's face] Gambol: So. F...
Lt. James Gordon: Harvey Dent never made it home. The Joker: Of course not. Lt. James Gordon: What have you done with him? The Joker: Me? I was right here. [holds up his arms in handcuffs] The Joker: Who did you leave him with? Your people? Assuming,...
The Joker: [the Joker has Brain Douglas captured and is recording him] Tell them your name. Brian: Brian... Douglas. The Joker: Are you the real Batman? Brian: No. The Joker: No? Brian: No. The Joker: No? Then why do you dress up like him? [grabs Bri...
C.A. Swan: [referring to the bribe money Tony is offering him to kill Margot] You know the police would only have to trace one of these notes back to you to hang us both from the same rope? Tony Wendice: They won't. For a whole year I've been cashing...
Tony Wendice: How about coming with me to a stag party? Mark Halliday: A stag party? Tony Wendice: Yes, some American boys have been playing tennis all over the country. We're giving them a sort of farewell dinner. Mark Halliday: Sounds great, but I'...
