The lazy one stands up between one armchair and another.
The nail that sticks its head up is the one that gets hit.
He who puts up with insult invites injury.
If you dip your arm into the picklepot let it be up to the elbow.
Two bears in one cave will not end up well.
You jump up, but you come down all the same.
Before you milk a cow tie it up.
As day breaks, the glowworms say "We've lit up the world!"
Mr. Pink: We were set up. The cops were waiting for us. Nice Guy Eddie: What? Nobody set anybody up. Mr. Pink: The cops were there waiting for us! Nice Guy Eddie: Bull shit! Mr. Pink: Hey, fuck you, man! You weren't there - we were! And I'm tellin' y...
They say in Zen, waking up to life requires three things: great faith, great doubt, and great effort. Faith isn’t a way of going to sleep. It’s the work of waking up. And, in order to wake up, you’ll need both great faith and great doubt. In it...
I’m famous for my Shepherd’s Pie. Here’s my recipe: lamb, potatoes, cheese, peas, paprika, and a wool-covered apron for the chef/shepherd/wolf-like politician to wear while serving the sheeple up.
After they broke up, Renaldo's ex girlfriend said to never again date an older woman. And he wisely listened to her, because his mother only had his best interest in mind.
I sit on my bed and think about Nader McMillan and wonder what I’m going to do. Ignore him. Stand up to him. Avoid him. Be “tough.” I think of the stuff Dad has said over the years. How he finally gave up suggesting things.
I later discovered that in order to be a good athlete one must care intensely what is happening with a ball, even if one doesn't have possession of it. This was ultimately my failure: my inability to work up a passion for the location of balls.
When God talks, please hear… rise up my dear… drop down the fear… your future is clear… success is near… Just go and try again! Give one more trial and you’ll kiss the trophy. Greatness rises up with those who rise up after falling!
If you want to fly you need to grow up, to grow up you need to be a kid again. To be a kid again you have to just be yourself; so come out of your cozy comfort zone, Yell out and break the boundaries your are stuck in.. Then only you can fly.
I told you once before that there were two times for making big money, one in the up-building of a country and the other in its destruction. Slow money on the up-building, fast money in the crack-up. Remember my words. Perhaps they may be of use to y...
It'll be no use their putting their heads down and saying, 'Come up again, dear!' I shall only look up and say, 'Who am I, then? Tell me that first, and then, if I like being that person, I'll come up -- if not, I'll stay down here till I'm somebody ...
My first time on TV doing stand-up, I actually did this show in Holland called 'The Comedy Factory' hosted by Jorgen Raymann. It was in 2006 in Holland. It was amazing. I had only been doing stand-up for four years, and I booked that gig through the ...
He reached up t0 grab one and came down with several, and they kept coming, washing over him, floating all around him. Never have tampon strings seemed so beautiful as they rolled up and down with the wind, landing on the ground and then twirling and...
What if I mess up?" "Oh, you will. You'll mess up, you'll make mistakes, you'll break things. Some you'll be able to piece together, and others you'll lose. That's all a given. But there's only one thing you have to do for me." "What's that?" "Stay a...
