Since I didn't have a candy wrapper to help me with the bad connection I was about to have, I resorted to using vocal sound effects. When Agent Carson picked up, I started my performance. "Agent... Agent Carson," I said, panting into the phone. "Yes,...
Do you understand what I'm saying?" shouted Moist. "You can't just go around killing people!" "Why Not? You Do." The golem lowered his arm. "What?" snapped Moist. "I do not! Who told you that?" "I Worked It Out. You Have Killed Two Point Three Three ...
He’d spent the night in the boat. Next to the spaghetti queen. William glanced at the hobo girl. She sat across from him, huddled in a clump. Her stench had gotten worse overnight, probably from the dampness. Another night like the last one, and he...
Hey I'm sorry about the other day. Didn't mean to give you a hard time, I ---" He held up his hands. "It's no problem. And I didn't mean to be pushy. But i've seen a lot of people let the bad around them make them hard or stubborn. In the end, they m...
Kaoru." "Hikaru? How long have you been there? "Kaoru, how do you feel about Haruhi?" "She's a funny little tanuki." "You don't have to lie to me. Sorry that I didn't realize it until now. I know you've been worrying about me, but you don't have to l...
The necklace was a good excuse," he murmured. "For what?" "I thought maybe I could go to Charleston and show up at your front door to give this back and maybe… you might let me in. Or something. I was worried that another male would court you, so I...
Very slowly, using only two fingers, Annabeth drew her dagger. Instead of dropping it, she tossed it as far as she could into the water. Octavian made a squeaking sound. “What was that for? I didn’t say toss it! That could’ve been evidence. Or ...
He knew that people were staring at him. He looked different. Even different from other Erasers. He wasn't as —seamless. He didn't look as human as the rest of them did when they weren't morphed. He kind of looked morphy all the time. He hadn't see...
I thought all I had to do to get you back was kill off your so-called mother and that little girl. No, I also pondered eating you alive. I imagined drinking all your blood and swallowing you whole many times. A thousand times...no, a million times ov...
Why did I allow the abuse to continue? Even as a teenager? I didn’t. Something that had been plaguing me for years now made sense. It was like the answer to a terrible secret. The thing is, it wasn’t me in my bed, it was Shirley who lay the wonde...
He'll be cross if he sees I have been crying. They don't like you to cry. He doesn't cry. I wish to God I could make him cry. I wish I could make him cry and tread the floor and feel his heart heavy and big and festering in him. I wish I could hurt h...
Ron Weasley: It's beautiful, isn't it? The moon. Harry Potter: Divine. Had ourselves a little late night snack, did we? Ron Weasley: It was on your bed, the box, I just thought I'd try one. Harry Potter: Or twenty. Ron Weasley: I can't stop thinking ...
Bill: He'll accept you as his student. The Bride: Caught him in a good mood, aye? Bill: More like a sadistic one. Just seeing those steps again makes me ache. You're gonna have plenty of fun carrying buckets of water up and down that fucker. The Brid...
Scar: So, your father showed you the whole kingdom, did he? Young Simba: Everything. Scar: He didn't show you what's beyond that rise at the northern border? Young Simba: Well, no. He said I can't go there. Scar: And he's absolutely right! It's far t...
Frank T.J. Mackey: In this big game that we play, life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve, it's what you take. I'm Frank T.J. Mackey, a master of the muffin and author of the Seduce and Destroy system now available to you on video...
Vinny Gambini: [Vinny is the lawyer, but Stan thinks he is there to sodomize him] Look, it's either me or them. You're gettin' fucked one way or the other. [Stan tries to get up] Vinny Gambini: Hey, relax, I'm gonna help you. Stan: Gee thanks. Vinny ...
Officer Dunn: Who the fuck left Danny Boy out in the sun? [Taking a piss] Officer Dunn: Hey, Jacko, you lazy bugger, I told you to bury that bastard last night. He stinks worse than you. Jacko! Two Bob: You got the wrong fuckin' black man. Arthur Bur...
Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck! Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip. Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip? Mr. Pink: Nah, I don't believe in it. Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping? Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit. Mr. Pi...
Han Solo: Hey, Your Worship, I'm only trying to help. Princess Leia: Would you please stop calling me that? Han Solo: Sure, Leia. Princess Leia: You make it so difficult sometimes. Han Solo: I do, I really do. You could be a little nicer, though. Com...
Tony Montana: Your guy Alberto... you know he's a piece of shit. I told him to do something he didn't listen to me, so I had to cancel his fucking contract. Alejandro Sosa: My partners and I are pissed off Tony. Tony Montana: That's okay, no big deal...
Judge Turpin: I have news for you, my friend. In order to shield her from the evils of this world, I have decided to marry my dear Johanna. Beadle: Ah, sir, happy news indeed. Judge Turpin: Strange, though, when I offered myself to her, she showed a ...