Bill: Have you tried playing with yourself? Billy Maplewood: You mean...? Bill: With your penis? Billy Maplewood: A little. Bill: How did it feel? Billy Maplewood: I don't know? I don't know what to do. Bill: Do you want me to, uh... show you?
Col. Hans Landa: What a tremendously hostile world that a rat must endure. Yet not only does he survive, he thrives. Because our little foe has an instinct for survival and preservation second to none... And that, Monsieur, is what a Jew shares with ...
Commander Denniston: Well, you realize that six hundred miles away from London there's this nasty little chap called Hitler who wants to engulf Europe in tyranny. Alan Turing: Politics isn't really my area of expertise.
Mary: You look at me as if you didn't know me. George Bailey: Well, I don't. Mary: You pass me on the street almost every day. George Bailey: Me? Naw, that was a little girl named Mary Hatch, that wasn't you.
George Bailey: [to Potter] In the whole vast configuration of things I'd say you were nothing but a scurvy little spider. [to Potter's bodyguard] George Bailey: And that goes for you too. [to Potter's employees at the bank] George Bailey: And it goes...
Madeliene White: Well detective, there are matters at stake here that are a little bit above your pay grade. No offense. Keith Frazier: Well, why don't you just tell the mayor to raise my pay grade to the proper level, and problem solved.
Bob: Weren't you in the news? Some show in, Prayge... Prague? Edna: Milan, darling. Milan. Supermodels. Heh! Nothing super about them... spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for *...
Gilbert Huph: [in Huph's office] You know, Bob... a company... Bob: Is like an enormous clock. Gilbert Huph: ...Is like an enormous cl... Yes, precisely. It only works if all the little cogs mesh together. A clock must be clean, well lubricated, and ...
Mike Wallace: You cut it! You cut the guts out of what I said! Eric Kluster: It was a time consideration, Mike... Mike Wallace: Time? Bullshit! You corporate lackey! Who told you your incompetent little fingers had the requisite skills to edit me?
[first lines] Ed Herlihy: And now, from New York, The Jerry Langford Show! With Jerry's guests Tony Randall, Richard Dreyfuss, Rodney Dangerfield, Dr. Joyce Brothers, Lou Brown and the orchestra, and little old me Ed Herlihy. And now say hello to Jer...
[the Soccer boy accidentally kicks his ball to Sing, who does a number of tricks with one foot] Soccer Boy: Wow, can you teach me that? Sing: Sure, lesson ONE! [pops the ball, the little boy starts crying]
Ralphie: Hey Curly, what all happens in a hurricane? Curly: The wind blows so hard the ocean gets up on its hind legs and walks right across the land. Toots: And singin' this song: Rain rain, go away, little Ralphie wants to play.
Volodja: I killed myself and went to heaven and yeah, it's really good in heaven. But I regret it, 'cause I wanted to live on earth a little longer. You remain dead for all eternity, but you're alive only for a brief moment.
Little Chris: Fuckin' hell John, do you always walk around with this in your pocket? Big Chris: Hey! You use language like that again son, you'll wish you hadn't!
May McGorvey: There are four columns of lonely women in here, and only one of lonely men. The odds are on our side. Now why wouldn't any of these women want to meet a nice person like you? Ronald James McGorvey: I'm not a nice person.
Timon: I'm telling you, kid: this is the great life. No rules, no responsibilities... [he reaches into a hole in a log and various insects skitter out, with him holding a blue bug; he points to the rest of the insects] Timon: Ooh! The little cream-fi...
[Grandfather, who has laid himself down to die, wakes up] Old Lodge Skins: Am I still in this world? Jack Crabb: Yes, Grandfather. Old Lodge Skins: [groans] I was afraid of that. Well, sometimes the magic works. Sometimes, it doesn't.
Jack Crabb: [after the sergeant shoots Shadow] There was no describing how I felt: an enemy had saved my life from the violent murder of one of my best friends... The world was too ridiculous to even bother to live in.
General Custer: You came up here to kill me, didn't you? And you lost your nerve. Well, I was correct. In a sense, you are a renegade, but you are no Cheyenne Brave. Do I hang you? I think not. Get out of here.
Jack Crabb: Sure, I'm white. Didn't you hear me say, "God bless George Washington. God bless my mother."? I mean, now what kind of Indian would say a fool thing like that?
Younger Bear: Every time I believe you are dead and the buzzards have eaten your body, you come back! Jack Crabb: Yes, and I always will until you pay me the life you owe me.
