General Custer: Take my advice. Go West! Olga Crabb: [in a Swedish accent] Vest? [She wails and bursts into tears] Jack Crabb: My wife, she's awful scared of Injuns. General Custer: My dear woman, you have nothing to fear from the Indians, I give you...
Frodo: Before you came along, we Bagginses were very well thought of. Gandalf: Indeed? Frodo: Never had any adventures or did anything unexpected. Gandalf: If you're referring to the incident with the Dragon, I was barely involved. All I did was give...
Gandalf: [after failing to open the magical doors of Moria] I once knew every spell in all the tongues of Elves... Men... and Orcs. Pippin: What are you going to do, then? Gandalf: Knock your head against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does ...
Sheryl: [to Frank] He started snorting heroin. Frank: [to Grandpa] You started snorting heroin? Grandpa: [in response to Frank, aimed at Dwayne] Let me tell ya, don't do that stuff. When you're young, you're crazy to do that shit. Frank: [to Grandpa]...
Eomer: What business does an Elf, Man, and a Dwarf have in the Riddermark? Speak quickly. Gimli: Give me your name, horse-master, and I shall give you mine. Eomer: [dismounts] I would cut off your head, Dwarf, if it stood but a little higher from the...
Ben Sanderson: Don't you think you'd get a little bored, living with a drunk? Sera: Well... that's what I want. Ben Sanderson: You haven't seen the worst of it. I knock things over... throw up all the time. These past few days I've been very controll...
[a nightmare switches between a ladies' garden club and a Soviet/Chinese military hospital] Chairlady: You will notice that I have told them they may smoke. I've allowed my people to have a little fun in the selection of bizarre tobacco substitutes.....
Ratso Rizzo: Here I am, goin' to Florida, my leg hurts, my butt hurts, my chest hurts, my face hurts, and like that ain't enough, I gotta pee all over myself. [Joe Buck laughs] Ratso Rizzo: That's funny? I'm fallin' apart here! Joe Buck: It's just - ...
Kasper Gutman: Well, sir, what do you suggest? We stand here and shed tears and call each other names... or shall we go to Istanbul? Joel Cairo: Are you going? Kasper Gutman: Seventeen years I've wanted that little item and I've been trying to get it...
Mike: Good morning, Roz, my succulent little garden snail. And who will we be scaring today? Roz: Wazowski! You didn't file your paperwork last night. Mike: Oh, that darn paperwork! Wouldn't it be easier if it all just blew away? Roz: Don't let it ha...
Celia: So, uh... are we going anywhere special tonight? Mike: I-I just got us into a little place called, um... Harryhausen's. Celia: Harryhausen's? But it's impossible to get a reservation there. Mike: Not for Googlie Bear. I will see you at quittin...
[Boo, in disguise, walks up to Mr. Waternoose] Henry J. Waternoose: Well hello, little one. Where did you come from? Sulley: Mr. Waternoose. Henry J. Waternoose: Ah, James. Is this one yours? Sulley: Ah, actually that's my uh, cousin's sister's daugh...
Cowboy: Howdy. Adam Kesher: Howdy to you. Cowboy: Beautiful evening. Adam Kesher: Yeah. Cowboy: Sure wanna thank you for coming all the way up here to see me from that nice little hotel downtown. Adam Kesher: No problem. What's on your mind? Cowboy: ...
[first lines] Christopher "Chris" Wilton: The man who said "I'd rather be lucky than good" saw deeply into life. People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It's scary to think so much is out of one's control. There are m...
[as the seven are about to leave the village] Calvera: You'll do much better on the other side of the border. There you can steal cattle, hold up trains... all you have to face is sheriff, marshall. Once I rob a bank in Texas; your government get aft...
Tank: We're supposed to start with these operation programs first. That's major boring shit. Let's do something a little more fun. How about... combat training. Neo: Ju jitsu? I'm gonna learn Ju jitsu. [Tank winks and loads the program] Neo: Holy shi...
Peggy: Come on, let's see if you can guess who it is... Noodles: Charlotte russe, with a little too much whipped cream... Peggy. Peggy: Hey, you watch it, now! And my prices, they've gone up. I work in a high-class joint now, and I get paid by the po...
Pete: You miserable little snake! You stole from my kin! Ulysses Everett McGill: Who was fixin' to betray us. Pete: You didn't know that at the time. Ulysses Everett McGill: So I borrowed it until I did know. Pete: That don't make no sense! Ulysses E...
[last lines] [Fletcher knows he's talking to Josey Wales] Fletcher: I think I'll go down to Mexico to try to find him. Josey Wales: And then? Fletcher: He's got the first move. I owe him that. I think I'll try to tell him the war is over. What do you...
[first lines] Maximillian Cohen: 9:13, Personal note: When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun. So once when I was six I did. The doctors didn't know if my eyes would ever heal. I was terrified, alone in that darkness. Slow...
[Steve opens the window next to the neighbor's house] Steve: We've got a good game going on here. Ben Tuthill: My kids wanna watch Mr. Rogers. Steve: I don't care what you're watching Ben, just show a little mercy with that thing! Ben Tuthill: Move y...
