[Dwight has been pulled over by a policeman on a motorcycle, with Jackie-Boy slumped over dead in the passenger seat] Motorcycle Cop: Your buddy there... Partied a little too hard tonight? Dwight: [staring coldly at the cop] I'm the designated driver...
[Shaun hands Liz a bunch of flowers] Shaun: Got you these. [Liz reads the label] Liz: "To a wonderful mum"? Shaun: [sniggers] Oooh! Yeah, that's, because... I thought, it would be, funny, because of what you said last night about me y'know, don't wan...
Little Bonaparte: [thick Italian accent] Thank you, fellow opera-lovers. It's been ten years since I elected myself president of dis organization... an' if I say so myself, you made duh right choice. Let's look at duh record: In duh lass fissel year ...
Marian Starrett: You're both out of your senses. This isn't worth a life, anybody's life. What are you fighting for? This shack, this little piece of ground, and nothing but work, work, work? I'm sick of it. I'm sick of trouble. Joe, let's move. Let'...
Marian Starrett: You were through with gun-fighting? Shane: I changed my mind. Marian Starrett: [softly] Are you doing this just for me? Shane: For you, Marion... for Joe, and little Joe. Marian Starrett: Then we'll never see you again? Shane: Never'...
Carlos: No one has ever picked me up and not wanted something. George: I think you picked me up. This is kind of a serious day for me. Carlos: Come on. What could be so serious for a guy like you? George: I'm just trying to get over an old love I gue...
Divya Narendra: You invented something in high school too, right? Mark Zuckerberg: An app for an MP3 player that recognizes your taste in music. Divya Narendra: Anybody try to buy it? Mark Zuckerberg: Microsoft. Divya Narendra: Wow. How much? Mark Zu...
Heywood: It's a fine morning, ain't it? You know why it's a fine morning, don't ya? Come on, set 'em down. I want 'em all lined up, just like a pretty little chorus line. [the cons pull out cigarettes and hand them over to Heywood, who lines them up ...
Cosmo Brown: The price of fame. You've got the glory, you gotta take the little heartaches that go with it. Now look at me: I've got no fame, I've got no glory, I've got no big mansions, I've got no money! But I've got - what have I got? Don Lockwood...
Mrs. Lovett: [placing a small pie on the counter] Here we are. Hot out of the oven. Sweeney Todd: What is THAT? Mrs. Lovett: [sings] It's priest. Have a little priest... Sweeney Todd: [sings] Is it really good? Mrs. Lovett: [sings] Sir, it's too good...
Lt. Col. Frank Slade: Clear them little bottles off. And when I get off the phone here, call up Hyman and tell him I want it wall to wall with John Daniels. Charlie Simms: Don't you mean Jack Daniels? Lt. Col. Frank Slade: He may be Jack to you son, ...
John: I'm sick from the disease eating away at me inside... Kerry: [flashback] Sounds like our friend Jigsaw. John: I'm sick of people who don't appreciate their blessings... Kerry: [flashback] ... looks like our guy like's to book himself front row ...
Lee: [to Elliot as he realizes he has been betrayed to the cops] How do you know his name? Why the fuck does he know your name? You piece of shit. You can forget about acting for the next twenty years, your fucking career is over. Take your fucking S...
Willy Wonka: Don't you know what this is? Violet Beauregarde: By gum, it's gum. Willy Wonka: [happily, but sarcastically] Wrong! It's the most amazing, fabulous, sensational gum in the whole world. Violet Beauregarde: What's so fab about it? Willy Wo...
Danny: My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. His name's Presuming Ed. His sister give him the idea. She got a doll on Christmas what pisses itself. Then you gotta change its drawers for it. It's horrible really but they like that, the...
Uncle Monty: The older order changeth, yielding place to new. God fulfils himself in many ways. And soon, I suppose, I shall be swept away by some vulgar little tumour. Oh, my boys, my boys, we're at the end of an age. We live in a land of weather fo...
Cowardly Lion: I'll get you anyway, Pee-wee. [Chases Toto; Dorothy hits him on the nose] Dorothy: Shame on you! Cowardly Lion: [Sobbing] Why did you do that for? I didn't bite him. Dorothy: No, but you tried to. It's bad enough picking on a straw man...
Brendan Conlon: C'mon, it's not as bad as it looks. Principal Zito: Are you being literal or figurative? Because literally it looks bad. And figuratively it looks even worse. The superintendent's coming by in a few minutes. So gimme a little help her...
Nick: [to Honey] We'll go in a little while. George: Oh no. No, you mustn't. Martha is changing, and Martha is not changing for me, Martha hasn't changed for me in years. If Martha is changing, that means we're going to be here for days. You're being...
Donald Kaufman: Anyway, listen, I meant to ask you, I need a cool way to kill people. Don't worry, for my script. Charlie Kaufman: I don't write that kind of stuff. Donald Kaufman: Oh, come on, man, please? You're the genius. Charlie Kaufman: Here yo...
Felicia: [in sweet voice] Mummy, maybe a trip to the outback will help me get over this little... phase I'm going through. And you never know, I might meet some lovely country girl. [in tough voice] Felicia: I hereby christen this budget Barbie campe...
