[at a seminar, Charlie Kaufman has asked McKee for advice on his new screenplay in which 'nothing much happens'] Robert McKee: Nothing happens in the world? Are you out of your fucking mind? People are murdered every day. There's genocide, war, corru...
Charlie Kaufman: [voice-over] I am pathetic, I am a loser... Robert McKee: So what is the substance of writing? Charlie Kaufman: [voice-over] I have failed, I am panicked. I've sold out, I am worthless, I... What the fuck am I doing here? What the fu...
Jeff Bebe: I also slept with Leslie [pauses] Jeff Bebe: when you were fighting. Russell Hammond: [Surprised] You slept with Jeff? Sheldon the Desk Clerk: Yeah, but it didn't count! It was the summer we decided to be free of all rules! Russell Hammond...
Jesse James: [Jesse has given Bob a gun as a gift] You know what John Newman Edwards once wrote about me? He said I didn't trust two men in ten thousand and was even cautious around them. The government's sort of run me ragged. I'm going the long way...
Jesse James: You know I'm real comfortable with your brother. Hell, he's ugly as sin and he smells like a skunk and he's so ignorant he couldn't drive nails in the snow, but he's sort of easy to be around. I can't say the same for you, Bob. Robert Fo...
Mama Lucas: You don't shoot cops. Even I know that. Eva knows it. The only one who DOESN'T seem to know is you. Frank Lucas: [ignores her pleas as he escorts her outside] All right, Mama. I'm not going to, I promise you. I'm not going to shoot anyone...
Joe: [waves for Curt to come over] Get down! OK now, you got it? I'm staying here, you're on your own. Curt Henderson: Wait a minute, wait a minute, Joe... wait a minute. What if he hears me? Joe: Shhh. Listen, listen! Look at it this way. Now, you g...
[first lines] Terry Fields: Hey, what do you say, Curt? Last night in town... you guys gonna have a little bash before you leave? Steve Bolander: The Moose have been looking for you all day. [hands a check to Curt] Steve Bolander: They got worried......
[Annie wants to smoke marijuana before sex] Alvy Singer: Yeah, grass, right? The illusion that it will make a white woman more like Billie Holiday. Annie Hall: Well, have you ever made love high? Alvy Singer: Me? No. I - I, you know, If I have grass ...
Lady Marian Fitzswalter: Tell me: when you are in love, is it hard to think of anybody but one person? Bess: Yes, indeed, m'lady, and sometimes it's a bit of trouble sleeping. Lady Marian Fitzswalter: I know! But it's a nice kind of not sleeping! Bes...
Otter: Point of parliamentary procedure! Hoover: Don't screw around, they're serious this time! Otter: Take it easy, I'm pre-law. Boon: I thought you were pre-med. Otter: What's the difference? [Addressing the room] Otter: Ladies and gentlemen, I'll ...
Dallas: Something has attached itself to him. We have to get him to the infirmary right away. Ripley: What kind of thing? I need a clear definition. Dallas: An organism. Open the hatch. Ripley: Wait a minute. If we let it in, the ship could be infect...
Apone: All right, sweethearts, you're a team and there's nothin' to worry about. We come here, and we gonna conquer, and we gonna kick some, is that understood? That's what we gonna do, sweethearts, we are going to go and get some. All right, people,...
Hudson: [Knowing that the Aliens are close, Hicks and Vasquez are welding the door shut] Movement. Signal's clean. Range, 20 meters. Ripley: They've found a way in, something we've missed. Hicks: We didn't miss anything. Hudson: 17 meters. Ripley: [C...
[discussing the body count] Dr. Einstein: You got twelve, they got twelve. [angrily grabs Dr. Einstein's necktie] Jonathan Brewster: I've got thirteen! Dr. Einstein: No, Johnny, twelve - don't brag. Jonathan Brewster: Thirteen! There's Mr. Spinalzo a...
Elaine Harper: Now, wait a minute! Listen! You can't marry me one minute and throw me out of the house the next. Mortimer Brewster: I am not throwing you out of the house, I am not throwing you out of the house! Will you get out of here? [pushes her ...
Antonio Salieri: My plan was so simple. It terrified me. First I must get the death mass and then, I must achieve his death. Father Vogler: [stares in horror] What? Antonio Salieri: His funeral! Imagine it, the cathedral, all Vienna sitting there, hi...
Antonio Salieri: [to Father Vogel] So rose the dreadful ghost from his next and blackest opera. There, on the stage, stood the figure of a dead commander. And I knew, only I understood that the horrifying aparition was Leopold, raised from the dead! ...
Emanuel Schikaneder: [to Mozart] Look, you little clown, do you know how many people I've hired for you? Do you know how many people are waiting? Constanze Mozart: [shouting] Leave him alone! He's doing his best! Emanuel Schikaneder: [to Mozart] I'm ...
Anne: There's no point in going on living. That's how it is. I know it can only get worse. Why should I inflict this on us, on you and me? Georges: You're not inflicting anything on me. Anne: You don't have to lie, Georges. Georges: [looks down at th...
Willard: Could we, uh... talk to Colonel Kurtz? Photojournalist: Hey, man, you don't talk to the Colonel. You listen to him. The man's enlarged my mind. He's a poet warrior in the classic sense. I mean sometimes he'll... uh... well, you'll say "hello...
