Capt. Ezekiel Bradbury 'Me Lay' Marston IV: [in the middle of an operation] Who are you guys? Hawkeye Pierce: [mock-British accent] I'm Dr. Jekyll, actually, and this is my friend, Mr. Hyde. Trapper John: Grrrr! Capt. Ezekiel Bradbury 'Me Lay' Marsto...
Colonel Blake: [blows whistle] Alright, men! we're not here to sell lemonade, we're here to practice. But first, I'd like to officially welcome Spearchucker to our team. It is okay to call you that? Spearchucker: Call me whatever you want to. Colonel...
Agent Smith: We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. All that we're asking in return is your cooperation in bringing a known terrorist to justice. Neo: Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a b...
Oracle: OK, now I'm supposed to say, "Hmm, that's interesting, but... " then you say... Neo: ..."but what?" Oracle: But... you already know what I'm going to tell you. Neo: I'm not The One. Oracle: Sorry, kid. You got the gift, but it looks like you'...
Ed Crane: I went to see a woman who was supposed to have powers of communicating with those who had "passed across" as she called it. She said that people who had passed across were picky about who they communicated with, not like most people you run...
Mona Lisa Vito: [Vinny looks at her funny] What? Vinny Gambini: Nothing. You stick out like a sore thumb around here. Mona Lisa Vito: Me? What about you? Vinny Gambini: I fit in better than you. At least I'm wearing cowboy boots. Mona Lisa Vito: Oh y...
Judge Chamberlain Haller: I don't like your attitude. Vinny Gambini: So what else is new? Judge Chamberlain Haller: I'm holding you in contempt of court. Vinny Gambini: [to Bill] Now there's a fucking surprise. Judge Chamberlain Haller: What did you ...
Capt. Jack Aubrey: Oh a week, perhaps. Dr. Stephen Maturin: A week? Capt. Jack Aubrey: There's no great hurry. Dr. Stephen Maturin: Mustn't we make haste for... Capt. Jack Aubrey: I'm not even sure it was the Acheron we sighted. And if it was, she'll...
David Grant: So, what do you think, dad? Woody Grant: It doesn't look finished to me. David Grant: How do you mean? Woody Grant: [upon seeing Mount Rushmore] Well, it looks like somebody got bored doing it. Washington's the only one with any clothes,...
Sally: [singing] What will become of my dear friend? / Where will his actions lead us then? / Oh, how I'd like to join the crowd / In their enthusiastic cloud. / Try as I may, it doesn't last. / And will we ever / End up together? / No, I think not. ...
Lou Bloom: What if my problem wasn't that I don't understand people but that I don't like them? What if I was the kind of person who was obliged to hurt you for this? I mean physically. I think you'd have to believe afterward, if you could, that agre...
[about the relationship between Steven and Sheba] Barbara Covett: Well, that's when you should've stopped it. Sheba Hart: I did! I told him I wouldn't teach him any more. But he refused to accept it, he just kept coming back. It began to feel like ou...
Richard Hart: [talking to Sheba about Barbara] Why is she ALWAYS here? What kind of fucking spell has she cast on you? Barbara Covett: I don't like your tone. Polly Hart: [to Richard] Ben's getting REALLY stressed, I think he's gonna BLOW! Richard Ha...
Carol: [looking at Noodles] Why don't we make it a threesome, huh? Max: Can't you see he's got other plans for tonight? Carol: Well, bring her along! We'll make it a foursome! Noodles: I'm not that kind of guy. Besides, I'm afraid if I give you a goo...
Rusty: Saul, you're the best there is. You're in Cooperstown. What do you want? Saul: Nothing. I've got a duplex now, wall-to-wall, goldfish. I'm seeing a nice lady who works the "Unmentionables" counter at Macy's. I've changed. Rusty: Guys like us d...
Danny: [holds up a black wallet] Hello Linus. Whose is this? Linus: Who are you? Danny: A friend of Bobby Caldwell's. [produces a plane ticket] Danny: You're either in or you're out. Right now. Linus: What is it? Danny: It's a plane ticket. A job off...
Peter Gibbons: Hey, guys. Michael Bolton: What's up, G? Peter Gibbons: Want to go to Chotchkie's? Get some coffee? Samir: Oh, it's a little early. Peter Gibbons: I gotta get outta here. I think I'm gonna lose it. Female Temp: Uh-oh. Sounds like someb...
Homer: [gunshot in background] Hey Quentin! [another gunshot] Homer: That rocket had to have gone up at least 100 feet didn't it? Quentin: More like two hundred. [another gunshot] Homer: Goddammit. Homer: [another gunshot] Will you cut it out, Roy Le...
[Discussing how to counter Homer Stokes' campaign for governor] Junior O'Daniel: We could hire our own midget, even shorter than his. Pappy O'Daniel: Wouldn't we look like a bunch of Johnny-come-latelies, bragging on our own midget, doesn't matter ho...
Cheyenne: [to Jill] You know what? If I was you, I'd go down there and give those boys a drink. Can't imagine how happy it makes a man to see a woman like you. Just to look at her. And if one of them should pat your behind, just make believe it's not...
[Frank just knocked Morton off of his crutches] Morton: Is that sufficient to make you feel stronger? Frank: I could squash you like a wormy apple! Morton: Sure. But you won't do it... because it's... not to your advantage... Frank: Hmm. Who knows ho...
