Tony: [Wooderson has just driven off after hitting on Cynthia] God, that was so creepy! Mike: Wait, why are you smiling? Cynthia: [shrugs] I thought he was cute. Tony: Ugh, that's disgusting! Mike: You thought he was cute? Do you realize when he grad...
[looking at the approaching bikers] Peter: Just three of them, huh? Stephen: Holy shit! Peter: They'll get in. They'll move the trucks. Stephen: There's hundreds of those creatures down there. Peter: Come on, man, that's a professional army. Looks li...
Sergeant Al Powell: [about McClane] In fact, I think he's a cop. Maybe not LAPD, but he's definitely a badge. Dwayne T. Robinson: How do you know that? Sergeant Al Powell: A hunch, things he said. Like being able to spot a phony ID. Dwayne T. Robinso...
The Joker: [to Det. Stephens] Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little emotions. In... you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better th...
Lewis: Why do you go on these trips with me, Ed? Ed: [somewhat defensively] I like my life, Lewis. Lewis: Yeah, but why do you go on these trips with me? Ed: You know, sometimes I wonder about that. Ed: [Lewis accurately shoots a fish in the river wi...
C.A. Swan: You know, I think I must have seen you somewhere since we left Cambridge. Tony Wendice: Ever been to Wimbledon? C.A. Swan: That's it! Wendice. Tony Wendice. What's all this about "Fisher"? Tony Wendice: What's all this about "Lesgate"? [em...
Chief Insp. Hubbard: Good morning, Sir. I'm Chief Inspector Hubbard, in charge of criminal investigation of this division. Tony Wendice: Oh, I think we gave your sergeant all the necessary information. Chief Insp. Hubbard: Yes, I've seen his report o...
Mr. Perkins: Do you know where the shrink ray is? Vector: Duh? Back at my place. Mr. Perkins: Oh, is that right? Back at your place? Oh, that's cool. I guess Gru must just have one that LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE IT! [shows vector the computer shot of Gru wi...
Van Helsing: She lives beyond the grace of God, a wanderer in the outer darkness. She is "vampyr", "nosferatu". These creatures do not die like the bee after the first sting, but instead grow strong and become immortal once infected by another nosfer...
Klaatu: [after reading the Gettysburg Address at the Lincoln Memorial] Those are great words. Klaatu: [turns to look at the statue of Lincoln] He must have been a great man. Bobby Benson: Well sure. Klaatu: [walking out of the memorial, then turning ...
Lara: Wouldn't it have been lovely if we'd met before? Zhivago: Before we did? Yes. Lara: We'd have got married, had a house and children. If we'd had children, Yuri, would you like a boy or girl? Zhivago: I think we may go mad if we think about all ...
roper: Opium... O O Han: We are investing in corruption, Mr Roper. The business of corruption is like any other business roper: Ow yeah. Provide your customers with products they need and, uh, charge a little bit to stimulate your market and before y...
Braithwaite: Mr. Lee, I've come to talk to you about a tournament of martial arts. A tournament to which you've already received an invitation. Specifically, the tournament organized by Mr. Han. Lee: [nodding thoughtfully] Han's tournament. Braithewa...
Alex: You make sex often with American girl? Jonathan: Not really. Alex: What is mean by "not really?" Jonathan: I'm not a priest, but I'm not John Holmes either. Alex: I have heard of this John Holmes. He has premium penis. Jonathan: Yes, he did. Al...
Peg Boggs: Hello? Hello? Hello? Avon calling. Oh, my. Hello? Hello? I'm Peg Boggs. I'm your local Avon representative. Hello? I... I'm sorry to barge in like this, but you don't have any reason to be afraid. Ooh! This is some huge house, isn't it? Th...
Kevin: Man, those things are cool! You know, I bet they're razor-sharp. One karate chop to a guy's neck... Peg Boggs: Kevin...! Edward... would you like some butter for your bread? Great! Edward: Thank you. Kevin: Hey, can I bring him to show and tel...
Bunny Breckinridge: What about glitter? When I was a headliner in Paris, audiences always liked it when I sparkled. Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No! Bunny Breckinridge: Cat's Eyes. Edward D. Wood, Jr.: No! Bunny Breckinridge: Well, I'm going to need some ant...
[making up the bald Dr. Tom to look like Bela Lugosi] Makeup Man Harry: Ed, what am I gonna do here. Edward D. Wood, Jr.: What do you mean? Makeup Man Harry: He has no hair. Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Gee, I never noticed that. Put a wig on him!
Tyler Durden: Do you know what a duvet is? Narrator: It's a comforter... Tyler Durden: It's a blanket. Just a blanket. Now why do guys like you and me know what a duvet is? Is this essential to our survival, in the hunter-gatherer sense of the word? ...
[Tyler and Jack stand in the bathroom doorway, watching Steph finish shaving off all of his hair. Tyler comes to give the top of Steph's head a sharp slap] Tyler Durden: Like a monkey, ready to be shot into space. Space monkey! Ready to sacrifice him...
Phyllis 'Beaver' Eklund: I heard she's into three-ways. Sherri Ward: Yeah, with other girls. Cathy 'Pork' Eklund: Yeah, like one of those MTV Girls. Alice Ward: MTV g... What're you talkin' about? Cathy 'Pork' Eklund: Wild. Cindy 'Tar' Eklund: She ac...
