Pita: Creasy [pause] Pita: You're smiling. Creasy: What? Pita: You were smiling. Creasy: No, I'm not. Pita: You were. Creasy: No, I was not. Pita: You're not now, but you were. Creasy: No, *you* were smiling, I wasn't smiling. Pita: You were. Creasy:...
King Arthur: Old woman! Dennis: Man. King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there? Dennis: I'm 37. King Arthur: What? Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old. King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man". Dennis: Well you could say "Denn...
Jim Kurring: Now calm yourself down. Marcie: [shouts] I am calm! Jim Kurring: No you are not calm. You're screaming at me. Do you understand? I got a call for disturbance, and I'm going to checking it out. That is what I'm going to do. Are you alone ...
Professor Henry Higgins: Eliza, you are to stay here for the next six months learning to speak beautifully, like a lady in a florist's shop. If you work hard and do as you're told, you shall sleep in a proper bedroom, have lots to eat, and money to b...
Professor Henry Higgins: Have some chocolates, Eliza. Eliza Doolittle: [halting, tempted] 'Ow do I know what might be in 'em? I've 'eard o' girls bein' drugged by the likes o' you. Professor Henry Higgins: [Takes a chocolate and breaks it in half] Pl...
Humphrey: So, just listen. Now, did I or did I not... do... vaginal... juices? Pupils: Mmm. Mmm. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Humphrey: Name two ways of getting them flowing, Watson. Watson: R - rubbing the clitoris, sir? Humphrey: What's wrong with a kiss, b...
[addressing his class] Professor Biesenthal: Well, you four have the dubious honor of having been picked from over two hundred applicants for this seminar. Well, let me just say this. There's a shortage of natural resources. There's a shortage of bre...
Estate Agent: That's your sofa, which also doubles up as a bed, which is great, you know, cause you can be watching some telly and you ain't got to hassle having to get outta the bedroom, you can just open it up, get your kip. Kitchen just through th...
Vin: You know the first time I took a job as a hired gun, fellow told me, "Vin, you can't afford to care." There's your problem. Chris: One thing I don't need is somebody telling me my problem. Vin: Like I said before, that's your problem. You got in...
Duke Forrest: What color was her hair? Trapper John: Black, shiny. Shiny black hair. Duke Forrest: Black. You like black, huh? I'm kinda partial to blondes myself. Hawkeye Pierce: I knew it. I knew you had a - - had an attraction for Hotlips Houlihan...
Vinny Gambini: My clients... Judge Chamberlain Haller: What are you wearing? Vinny Gambini: Huh? Judge Chamberlain Haller: What are you wearing? Vinny Gambini: [wearing a black leather jacket] Um... I'm wearing clothes. [the Judge angrily stares omin...
Jack Skellington: [sung] Well, what the heck, I really did my best/And by God I really tasted something swell, that's right/And for a moment, why, I even touched the sky/And at least I left some stories they can tell, I did/And for the first time sin...
Devlin: I can't help recalling some of your remarks about being a new woman. Daisies and buttercups, wasn't it? Alicia: You idiot! What are you sore about, you knew very well what I was doing! Devlin: Did I? Alicia: You could have stopped me with one...
Rusty: Tell me this is not about her, or I am walking. I am walking off this job right now. Danny: Who? Rusty: Tess. Terry Benedict. Tell me this is not about screwing the guy who's screwing your wife. Danny: Ex-wife. Rusty: Tell me. Danny: It's not ...
Topher Grace: Mr Ocean, what do you do for a living? If you don't mind me asking. Danny: Why would I mind you asking? Two cards. I just got out of prison. Topher Grace: Really? Joshua Jackson: Well why were you in prison? Danny: I stole things. Shane...
Bob Slydell: You see, what we're actually trying to do here is, we're trying to get a feel for how people spend their day at work... so, if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you? Peter Gibbons: Yeah. Bob Slydell: Great. Peter Gi...
Neal: I'd like one room for the night. Del: If you're upset, maybe we should get separate rooms. Neal: You get your own room. Hotel Clerk: Will you be paying with credit card? Neal: Yes. I have a Visa card... Diner's Club card... and a gasoline card....
Vincent: [Lance is looking for a medical book] Hurry up, Lance! We're losing her! Lance: I'm lookin' as fast as I can! Jody: [to Vincent] What's he looking for? Vincent: I dunno. Some book. Jody: [to Lance] What're you looking for? Lance: A little bl...
Jules: So, tell me again about the hashbars? Vincent: Okay, what you wanna know? Jules: Hash is legal there in Amsterdam, right? Vincent: Yeah, it's legal, but it ain't a hundred percent legal. I mean, you can't just walk into a restaurant, roll a jo...
Sgt. Barnes: Talking about killing? Y'all experts? Y'all know about killing? I'd like to hear about it, potheads. [takes pipe and inhales drag] Sgt. Barnes: Why do you smoke this shit? So as to escape from reality? Me, I don't need this shit. I am re...
TV Repairman: Hey - who did Muffin take to the Masquerade Ball when her date came down with the measles? David: Her father. TV Repairman: That's right! And how'd she dress him? David: As Prince Charming. TV Repairman: Nice! Remember the one where Bud...
