There's nothing like deep breaths after laughing that hard. Nothing in the world like a sore stomach for the right reasons.
Friends are like bras, attached near your heart for support. Foes are like panties, deported, every now and then, when they get dirty.
A drug is not bad. A drug is a chemical compound. The problem comes in when people who take drugs treat them like a license to behave like an asshole.
Art shows what's inside. And that's scary. Showing my paintings would be like...like cutting my arm open in front of a crowd and showing them what color I bleed.
You don’t know what a trial it is to be —like me. I've got to keep my face like steel in the street to keep men from winking at me.
Dorian used to watch you like a starving man who wants meat. Now he looks at you like he wants seconds.
I’m like a praying mantis, except not so devout. And I make love like a monk in meditation, which can often be confused with being asleep.
I am your Wednesday Sex Meatloaf. At least, I’d like to be. This Tuesday I have a vacancy, if you like leftovers from six days before.
The ocean in the sky keeps my love fresh like boat shoes that are too big to fail. My heart is flooded with feelings like Noah one knows.
I like being right more than I like keeping friends. Certainly this leaves me lonely, but at least I’m always certain.
Your impression of me is different than my impression of me. But that’s OK, because your impression is impressionistic, like a Monet painting, while mine is realistic, like a Rembrandt.
Why are desire scales 1-10? They should be 1-12, like a clock, because I want her 1-12, I mean like all the time.
I look for patterns that nobody else does. Like I noticed that my face looks like a tablecloth. Especially when I have food all over it.
My love for you is like food for a statue. My love is like anything from McDonald’s, because it will never decay and always looks brand new.
My heartbeat’s so loud it’s like a tap dancer in my chest. No, it’s more like Mr. Morse, tapping out the code of love.
I’m different than other men in that I’m indifferent to the ins and outs of concave and convex relationships. I feel that women like that I’m like that.
I’m getting gray hair in all sorts of crazy places. Like all over my carpet. It’s like I live in a nursing home, except without all the sex.
Love is like a beautiful summer day in the middle of winter. I’ve got shorts on, so it seems like a good time to invade Russia.
She looked like the kind of woman I could fall in love with. Trouble is, she was standing next to the kind of woman I’d like to make love to.
His last name was Morris, but I called him Mars, because it’s like he was from another planet, like Venus. He was a cross dresser.
Every girl needs a bit of whimsy to remind her that life is a game and it's all about having fun.
