[first lines] Wise Man #1: Ahem! Brian's mother: Oh! [falls over in chair] Brian's mother: Who are you? Wise Man #2: We are three wise men. Brian's mother: What? Wise Man #1: We are three wise men. Brian's mother: Well, what are you doing creeping ar...
Boring Prophet: There shall in that time be rumors of things going astray, erm, and there shall be a great confusion as to where things really are, and nobody will really know where lieth those little things with the sort of raffia-work base, that ha...
Centurion: You know the penalty laid down by Roman law for harboring a known criminal? Matthias: No. Centurion: Crucifixion! Matthias: Oh. Centurion: Nasty, eh? Matthias: Could be worse. Centurion: What you mean "Could be worse"? Matthias: Well, you ...
Brian: Well, why don't you go and tell him you want to be a leper again? Ex-Leper: Uh, I could do that sir, yeah. Yeah, I could do that I suppose. What I was thinking was I was going to ask him if he could make me a bit lame in one leg during the mid...
[Taking the gifts from the Three Wise Men and pushing them out the door] Brian's mother: Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time...
[On the run from Roman soldiers, Brain lands on a public stage prophets. Brian quickly decides to disgues himself as one] Brian: [Unsure and stuttering] Don't... pass judgement... on other people, or you might be judged yourself. Passer-by: [as if sh...
Francis: We're gettin' in through the underground heating system here, up through into the main audience chamber here, and Pilate's wife's bedroom is here. Having grabbed his wife, we inform Pilate that she is in our custody and forthwith issue our d...
Theoden: I take my leave. Aragorn: My Lord Elrond. Elrond: I come on behalf of one whom I love. Arwen is dying. She will not long survive the evil that now spreads from Mordor. The light of the Evenstar is failing. As Sauron's power grows, her streng...
Mufasa: Everything you see exists together in a delicate balance. As king, you need to understand that balance and respect all the creatures, from the crawling ant to the leaping antelope. Young Simba: But, Dad, don't we eat the antelope? Mufasa: Yes...
Algren: What do you want? Katsumoto: To know my enemy. Algren: I've seen what you do to your enemies. Katsumoto: The warriors in your country do not kill? Algren: They don't cut the heads off defeated, kneeling men. Katsumoto: General Hasegawa asked ...
Katsumoto: If I am no use, I will happily end my life. Emperor Meiji: No, I need your voice in the Council. Katsumoto: It is your voice we need, Highness. You are a living god. Do what you think is right. Emperor Meiji: [ruefully] I am a living god, ...
Distraught Male Voice: I just can't go on. I'm not good any more, goodbye... goodbye... aaaargh... Aaaargh. [a leaf falls to the ground] Distraught Female Voice: Oh my God. What'll I do? I can't live without him... I... aaaargh. [Another leaf falls] ...
[the Middle Of The Film] Lady Presenter: Hello, and welcome to 'The Middle of the Film', the moment where we take a break to invite you, the audience, to join us, the film-makers, in 'Find the Fish'. We're going to show you a scene from another film ...
Chaplain: [singing] Oh Lord, please don't burn us/Don't grill or toast your flock/Don't put us on the barbecue/Or simmer us in stock/Don't braise or bake or boil us/Or stir-fry us in a wok/Oh please don't lightly poach us/Or baste us with hot fat/Don...
Mary Wilke: [reading aloud from Issac's wife's memoir] "He was given to fits of rage, Jewish liberal paranoia, male chauvinism, self-righteous misanthropy, and nihilistic moods of despair. He had complaints about life but never any solutions. He long...
Gil: These people don't have any antibiotics! Adriana: What are you talking about? Gil: Adriana, if you stay here though, and this becomes your present then pretty soon you'll start imagining another time was really your... You know, was really the g...
Ed Crane: It's like pulling away from the maze. While you're in the maze, you go through willy nilly, turning where you think you have to turn; banging into the dead ends. One thing after another. But you get some distance on it, and all those twists...
Harry Cooper: [to Barbara] Now you'd better watch this and try to understand what's going on. [Ben looks at him] Harry Cooper: I don't want anyone's life on my hands. Helen Cooper: Is there anything I can do...? Ben: I don't wanna hear any more from ...
Gerry Conlon: That was a good day's work, McAndrew. A good day's work. Joe McAndrew: Get away from me. Gerry Conlon: You're not looking me in the eye when you're speaking to me. You see, I know how to look at people without blinking as well. In all m...
Tom Baxter: I was thinking about some very deep things. About God and his relation with Irving Saks and R.H. Levine. And I was thinking about life in general. The origin of everything we see about us. The finality of death; how almost magical it seem...
Mr. Bingley: I've never seen so many pretty girls in my life! Mr. Darcy: You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room. Mr. Bingley: She is the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld. But her sister Elizabeth is very agreeable. Mr. Darc...
