Quotes of: Library-book Keyword

What do I do for fun? Well, I’d love to get into the bank robbing business, but government work is not for me.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Last time I had sex I was so good I got a standing ovation. Well, actually, I just got the clap.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I like wearing a blindfold while watching movies, so that I can focus on the dialogue. My favorite flicks are the silent movies.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I were a mannequin, I'd know people would only want me for my body. But that's OK, because that's how it is now.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I like watching people stretch in the park. It's my new favorite pastime since I bought a portable rack.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My words and my ideas are my property, and I’ll keep and protect them as surely as I do my stable of unicorns.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I am the dinosaur of love. Specifically, I am a pterodactyl, and you are my silent “p.” Stay quiet woman!

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If love came in a cardboard tube, I’d probably send it priority mail. But I’d make you pay for shipping.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I went out to eat on a restaurant’s opening night. It was packed! I guess people heard I’d be dining there and came to adore me.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I am innocent! But only because the opportunity to partake in an activity that would render me guilty has not presented itself.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I don’t understand people who don’t like meatloaf. Your mom doesn’t make it like Michael Aday does.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

On March 5th, I'm having my birthday celebration. The party starts at midnight, and ends at 12:01 AM. Don't be late!

This Book is Not FOR SALE

You can't put a price tag on human life. But if you could, I'd demand coupons for clones.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Sometimes I pretend I'm from the 19th century. Then I drive around and say, Wow! So this is what the future's like, huh?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Thinking ahead is like remembering the future. How about that time we made love? I’ll bet it will be amazing.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Her and I, we passed each other, and now she’s in my past. That’s one present I’d like to unwrap in the future.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

It was queer meeting him there—odd I mean—and what are the odds we’d meet at a gay bar? I was there to meet a woman, I think.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Some people think nature is their God. I'd like to apologize to all those people for pissing on their religion.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

What I call talking to God, you may call talking to myself. Of course, I’m flattered that you’d think I am God.

This Book is Not FOR SALE