Quotes of: Library-book Keyword

Amy, she’s got a memory like an elephant, and a body like a meow.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

I think a funny picture would have a caption that read, “Believe in yourself,” with an accompanying image of a wilting flower.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I've often wondered what makes a relationship last. I guess the best answer is it's the one right after the next to the last one.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Love can come shooting out of nowhere, much like semen shoots out a penis. Too many lives come to an end—and begin—from random shootings.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My love started the day I was born. If you run you can probably catch up. Remember, think marathon—not sprint.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I put out the Greg Call, which sounds like a whistle-quack, and a few dozen Toms responded. The only time I need a Tom is tomorrow.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I ate the evidence he’d been murdered. What Carl called “Kevin,” I called dinner.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

My soul is invisible, like an anorexic’s dinner, but it sure enhances how I feel about my body.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I am the now of the then. My body is the embodiment of all my ancestors who came before me. They live on in me.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Be proud of your work week, not your weak work. Monday-Friday you can find me working out. I have the body of a fisherman.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

In 1,000 pages of Orafoura’s novel, I noticed he repeated one word twice. It really stood out to me. The word? Sit.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My clone will have my mind, but I don’t mind. Two heads are better than one—especially when those two are one and the same.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I had a dream about your brain. I wish I could eat my dream.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I made plans out of hope, expectation, desire, and duct tape, and I broke those plans with my bare hands.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

You gotta run more than your mouth to escape the treadmill of mediocrity. A true hustler jogs during the day, and sleepwalks at night.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

On Halloween I like to scare up business the old fashioned way: with flyers, business cards, and electroshock therapy while wearing spooky masks.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

A window—it’s more entertaining than TV. Just ask a cat looking out, or a man looking in on a life he desires.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

A great band name would be Tickling Whiskers. Especially if the lead singer is a cat. I’d love to audition for backup dancer.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I feel self-conscious calling my cat fat in front of a fat person, considering I’m skinny and inconsiderate.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I'm sort of a girly guy in that I love cats, rainbows, sunsets, flowers, trees, and sex. But not sex with trees.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When he misbehaves, I’ll clap and then point at my cat, as if transmitting the sting of the slap towards him in punishment.

This Book is Not FOR SALE