God made the integers; all the rest is the work of Man.
Well, I'm a Harley Babe.
Everything I say is true.
We all do stupid things.
If I weren't a writer, I'd be a psychiatrist.
Divorce doesn't fit my cookie-cutter image.
Whenever you're aggressive, you're at the edge of mistakes.
Tom Carnegie will never be replaced.
My toughest fight was with my first wife.
Humility is a virtue, and it is a virtue innate in guests.
Forewarned, forearmed; to be prepared is half the victory.
There is no substitute for books in the life of a child. (1952)
When nothing is sure, everything is possible.
I think it is nice to get older.
Life's difficulties are merely necessary roughage.
I was always a fan of Groucho Marx as a kid.
Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Not lost, but gone before.
There is so much freedom in not having to choose.
I never hesitated. I did what had to be done.
Hopefully standup will become special again.
