[about Blackwood coming back from the grave] Sherlock Holmes: Have the newspapers got wind of it yet? Constable Clark: Well, that's what we're trying to avoid, sir. Sherlock Holmes: Certainly. What's the major concern? Constable Clark: Panic. Sheer b...
John Bender: Uh, Dick? Excuse me; Rich. Will milk be made available to us? Andrew Clark: We're extremely thirsty, sir. Claire Standish: I have a really low tolerance for dehydration. Andrew Clark: I've seen her dehydrate, sir. It's pretty gross.
Allison Reynolds: You have problems. Andrew Clark: Oh, I have problems? Allison Reynolds: You do everything everyone tells you to do and that is a problem. Andrew Clark: Okay, fine, but I didn't dump my purse out on the couch and invite everyone into...
John Bender: Sporto. Andrew Clark: What? John Bender: You get along with your parents? Andrew Clark: Well, if I say yes I'm an idiot, right? John Bender: You're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well, you're a liar too.
The internet is not for sissies.
I fix my grandchildren's computers.
The computer is a moron.
Ellen Griswold: Clark, let's just skip the house of mud. I think Dodge City was enough fun for one day. Besides, Catherine and Eddie are expecting us. Clark: It's living history Ellen. But if you'd rather see your cousins. Personally I'd rather see a...
Clark: I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I'll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It's a quest. It's a quest for fun. You're gonna have fun, and I'm gonna hav...
Clark: Oh, you can't think I'd do this on purpose? Look... I tied him to the rear bumper while I was packing the car. It was very confusing. I must have forgot. I'm very sorry, I feel terrible. Motorcycle Cop: How do you think that little dog feels? ...
[looking at the dead Aunt Edna in the back seat] Ellen Griswold: She must have passed away somewhere near Flagstaff. What are we going to do, Clark? Clark Griswald: Well, we could leave her here and the first phone we pass, we could call your Cousin ...
History is a vision of God's creation on the move.
Justice is to be found only in imagination.
The future of Africa is in innovative engineering.
I don't think technology is viable unless the person applying it has something to say.
Clark: We're kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols. Audrey: We're...
Clark Griswald: [talking about Aunt Edna] She can't weigh more than 100 pounds. Ellen Griswald: Oh, no. You can't just put her on the roof. Audrey Griswald: Yes, he can! Clark Griswald: You want me to strap her to the hood? She'll be fine. It's not a...
Aunt Edna: Why don't you just ask him for the money, Eddie? He sure as Hell can't take a hint. Cousin Eddie: Well, I didn't want to ask you, Clark, you know, but could you maybe spare a little extra cash? Clark: Sure, Eddie, how much do you need? Cou...
Clark: I'm just trying to treat my family to a little fun. Ellen Griswold: Oh spare me, Clark, I know your brand of family fun. Tomorrow you'll probably kill the desk clerk, hold up a McDonalds, and drive us 1000 miles out of the way to see the world...
[In the middle of a desert. Clark is going crazy as he trots through the hills. Two native Americans on horses watch him] Clark: We pass a damn gas station every hundred yards for a thousand miles, but when you really need one, you end up walking you...
Clark: I've spent the last 15 years of my life developing newer and better food additives. I guess I've missed an awful lot. At first, I didn't want to take this vacation. But, now I'm glad I did. It's given me a chance to spend a lot more time with ...
