Half the time I feel like I'm appealing to the downer freaks out there. We start to play one downer record after another until I begin to get down myself. Give me something from 1960 or something; let me get up again. The music of today is for downer...
I write for a radio show that, no matter what, will go on the air Saturday at five o'clock central time. You learn to write toward that deadline, to let the adrenaline pick you up on Friday morning and carry you through, to cook up a monologue about ...
Congressman Berg will repeatedly talk about Harry Reid and Barack Obama, and I find it interesting, because this morning, when I woke up and brushed my teeth, I looked in the mirror and I did not see a tall, African-American, skinny man. So let's mak...
You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pat your house payment. T...
The single despot stands out in the face of all men, and says: I am the State: My will is law: I am your master: I take the responsibility of my acts: The only arbiter I acknowledge is the sword: If any one denies my right, let him try conclusions wi...
'The Exorcist' is absolutely my favorite horror film, and I watched it when I was, like, seven years old with my mother for the first time. I don't know why my mom let me watch that. I couldn't go to the bathroom by myself. I couldn't go upstairs by ...
In third grade, I was taking tap-dance lessons, and about six weeks before the recital I wanted to quit. My mom said, 'No, you're going to stay with it.' Well, I did it, and I was bad, too! But my parents never let their kids walk away from something...
Apparently nobody really read it, it was a cheap movie, it fit their schedule in terms of things so fine, let the guy make that high school comedy. I used to work with Mel Brooks so they figured oh it's going to be one of those really silly movies an...
Let's face it; people are doing everything online these days. So if they are going to watch my movies, I'm happy as long as it's being bought legally and being exhibited legally, as long as they are paying even a small fee for it. I'm just anti-pirac...
Snake Ink: The omen was foretold, and now we have a fear more grave. Today I saw the day become like night. I saw a man run with the jaguar. We must not let this man make feet from us.
[looking at the controls of the airplane as he begins to try to fly it] Ted Striker: Let's see... altitude: 21,000 feet. Speed: 520 knots. Level flight. Course: zero-niner-zero. Trim and mixture: wash, soak, rinse, spin.
Tony Stark: [Entering a room full of Hydra soldiers] Guys, lets talk about this... [Shoots all the Hydra men non-fatally with tiny guided missiles] Tony Stark: Good talk. Background voice: No, it wasn't!
[from trailer] Steve Rogers: Ultron's calling us out. What are we gonna do? Nick Fury: Something dramatic, I hope. Tony Stark: Let's go give him a fight!
Lumiere: Ma chère mademoiselle. It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure that we welcome you tonight. And now, we invite to relax, let us pull up a chair, as the dining room proudly presents... your dinner.
Conklin: We've been sleeping down there. Believe me, we're doing everything we can. Ward Abbott: And you don't let me know this? Conklin: You never wanted to before. Ward Abbott: You never made a mistake before.
[while dunking the Dude's head in the toilet] Blond Treehorn Thug: Where's the money, Lebowski? Where's the fucking money, shithead? The Dude: It's uh... uh... it's down there somewhere, let me take another look.
Captain Bennett: He let the killers in himself? Why would he do a thing like that? Frank Bullitt: I'm waiting to ask him. Captain Bennett: What about the setup? What do you make of that? Frank Bullitt: Shotgun and a backup man, professionals.
Maxine: Let's have sex on his table and then make him eat an omelette off of it. John Malkovich: NO! [Craig regains control] Craig Schwartz (in John Malkovich): Shut up, you overrated piece of shit.
Violet: We're not that different, Corky. Corky: Ah, let's see. This is the part where you tell me what matters is on the inside, and that inside of you there's a little dyke just like me. Violet: No, she's nothing like you. She's a whole lot smarter ...
Philip Marlowe: [speaking into the phone] Hello, let me talk to Mr. Mars. Eddie Mars: This is Mars. Philip Marlowe: Oh, hello Eddie. This is Marlowe. Eddie Mars: Marlowe? Philip Marlowe: Yeah, Marlowe. Or, what's left of him.
Pamela Landy: I was hoping you had some time for me. Ward Abbott: Time for what? Pamela Landy: I'm free right now, actually. Ward Abbott: That sounds ominous. Let me check my schedule. [checks his watch]
