Mrs. Teevee: [as the Wonkatania starts to move] I think I'm going to be seasick! Willy Wonka: [handing something to Mrs. Teevee] Here, take these. Mrs. Teevee: What are they? Willy Wonka: Rainbow drops. Suck them and you can spit in seven different c...
Stanley Kael, Second Newscaster: Four down, one to go, and somewhere out there a lucky person is moving closer and closer to the most sought after prize in history. Though we cannot help but envy whoever he is, and we may feel bitter, but we must rem...
Willy Wonka: [In the Wonkavator] Faster, faster; if we don't pick up enough speed, we'll never get through! Charlie Bucket: Get through what? Willy Wonka: Aha! Grandpa Joe: You mean we're going...? Willy Wonka: Up and out! Grandpa Joe: But this roof ...
Marwood: Right, now we're going to have to approach this scientifically. First thing we've got to do is get this fire alight, then we split into two fact-finding groups. I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood si...
Withnail: Listen, I know what you're thinking but I had no alternative. The old bugger's come a long way and I didn't want to put the wind up him. Marwood: Your sensitivity overwhelms me. If you think you're going to have a weekend's indulgence up he...
Guy Forsyth: Did you ever have a job that you hated and worked real hard at? A long, hard day of work. Finally you get to go home, get in bed, close your eyes and immediately you wake up and realize... that the whole day at work had been a dream. It'...
Wizard of Oz: Why, anybody can have a brain. That's a very mediocre commodity. Every pusillanimous creature that crawls on the Earth or slinks through slimy seas has a brain. Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning, wher...
Cowardly Lion: I'll get you anyway, Pee-wee. [Chases Toto; Dorothy hits him on the nose] Dorothy: Shame on you! Cowardly Lion: [Sobbing] Why did you do that for? I didn't bite him. Dorothy: No, but you tried to. It's bad enough picking on a straw man...
Paddy Conlon: Alright. Alright. But you get something through your skull, too. You called me. So don't go threatening to walk every five minutes. And since this is about training, you dump whatever it is you need to dump as far as those pills are con...
[as they all observe the subway station] Ajax: Come on, what kind of chickenshit crap is this. Cochise: Yeah, come on? We're here, what are we waiting for? Fox: The train would help! Unless you wanna go up there and get jacked on an open platform. Co...
[first lines] Cleon: It's still on and we're goin'. Cyrus sent an emissary this afternoon to make sure. Now, Cyrus don't want anybody packed and he don't want anybody flexing any muscle. So, I gave him my word that the Warriors would uphold the truce...
[last lines] Porky Pig: All right. M-m-m-ove along now. Th-th-there's nothing left to see here. That's all folks. Mmm, I like the sound of that. Porky Pig: [turns to audience; iris closes in on Porky and "Merry-Go-Round Broke Down" plays on soundtrac...
Sally Albright: The first date back is always the toughest, Harry. Harry Burns: You only had one date. How do you know it's not going to get worse? Sally Albright: How much worse can it get than finishing dinner, having him reach over, pull a hair ou...
Harry Burns: We're talking dream date compared to my horror. It started out fine, she's a very nice person, and we're sitting and we're talking at this Ethiopian restaurant that she wanted to go to. And I was making jokes, you know like, "Hey I didn'...
[BlueStar stock has gone from 19 to 22 7/8 very quickly] Marv: Whew! Stock's going to Pluto, man. Bud Fox: Start unloading! Marv: What? SELL? Bud Fox: Dump it! Dump it all! Where's Lou? Marv: He's over there. [Marv gets on the phone] Marv: Ken, this ...
Rorschach: I heard joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he's depressed. Life seems harsh, and cruel. Says he feels all alone in threatening world. Doctor says: "Treatment is simple. The great clown - Pagliacci - is in town. Go see him. That should pic...
Wolverine: You going to tell me to stay away from your girl? Cyclops: If I had to do that, she wouldn't be my girl. Wolverine: Well, then I guess you've got nothing to worry about, do ya, Cyclops? Cyclops: It must burn you up that a boy like me saved...
Maya: [to Navy SEALs] Quite frankly, I didn't even want to use you guys, with your dip and velcro and all your gear bullshit. I wanted to drop a bomb. But people didn't believe in this lead enough to drop a bomb. So they're using you guys as canaries...
Patroller: [in a vain attempt to escape, Solomon runs into some patrollers who are fixing to hang a trio of slaves] Boy, where are you going? Solomon Northup: To the store, Sir, to Bartholomew's. I was sent there by Mistress Epps. Patroller: [the pat...
Partygoer: So Tom, what is it that you do? Tom: I uh, I write greeting cards. Summer: Tom could be a really great architect if he wanted to be. Partygoer: That's unusual, I mean, what made you go from one to the other? Tom: I guess I just figured, wh...
Donald Kaufman: Anyway, listen, I meant to ask you, I need a cool way to kill people. Don't worry, for my script. Charlie Kaufman: I don't write that kind of stuff. Donald Kaufman: Oh, come on, man, please? You're the genius. Charlie Kaufman: Here yo...
