Tim: What do you call a blind dinosaur? Dr. Alan Grant: I don't know. What do you call a blind dinosaur? Tim: A Do-you-think-he-saurus. Dr. Alan Grant: Ha ha. Good one. Tim: What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog? Dr. Alan Grant: You got me. Tim: A ...
Hannibal Lecter: Now then, tell me. What did Miggs say to you? Multiple Miggs in the next cell. He hissed at you. What did he say? Clarice Starling: He said, "I can smell your cunt." Hannibal Lecter: I see. I myself cannot. You use Evian skin cream, ...
Vern: Do you think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman? Teddy: What are you, cracked? Vern: Why not? I saw the other day. He was carrying five elephants in one hand! Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothing! Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman's a real guy...
The Writer: At the beginning of the school year, Vern had buried a quart jar of pennies underneath his house. He drew a treasure map so he could find them again. A week later, his mom cleaned out his room and threw away the map. Vern had been trying ...
[the boys are having trouble designing how to get across the river] Teddy: Okay, you guys can go around if you want. I'm crossing here. And while you guys are dragging your candy asses half way across the state and back, I'll be waiting on the other ...
Vern: You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman? Teddy: What are you cracked? Vern: Why not? I saw the other day, he was carrying 5 elephants in one hand. Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothin', Mighty Mouse is a cartoon, Superman is a real guy, no w...
Cindy: Dean, I give you this ring... Justice of the Peace: As a symbol. Cindy: As a symbol... Justice of the Peace: Of my solemn vow. Cindy: Of my solemn vow... Justice of the Peace: And everlasting love. Cindy: And everlasting love... Justice of the...
Archivist: [about Yoona taking Somni to the lost-and-found room] Why didn't you report Yoona-939 to Seer Rhee the next day? Sonmi-451: I couldn't. Archivist: Why? Sonmi-451: Because she trusted me. Archivist: But your actions violated the Fifth Catec...
[Old Sixsmith notices the "shooting star"-shaped birthmark] Old Rufus Sixsmith: That's a very peculiar birthmark. Luisa Rey: Yeah, my mom was sure it was going to be cancerous and kept trying to get me to remove it, but... I kinda like it. Old Rufus ...
Danglar: [while he is about to be hanged by Monte Cristo from a ship's plank, holding onto Cristo's coat] Who are you? Edmond: I'm the Count of Monte Cristo... [beat] Edmond: But my friends call me Edmond Dantes! Danglar: [in full realisation] Dantes...
Waiter: Follow me. Jen Yu: I want a clean room. Waiter: We have plenty... Your order? Jen Yu: Steamed whole cod, bite-size meatballs, a little starchy but keep the sauce light, shark fin soup, mixed vegetables and some warm wine. Waiter: We only have...
[last lines] Christine Collins: Three boys made a run for it that night, detective, and if one got out, then maybe either or both of the other two did too. Maybe Walter's out there having the same fears that he did. Afraid to come home and identify h...
Jay: You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah. Like, be the first moth...
Charles Foster Kane: As Charles Foster Kane who owns eighty-two thousand, six hundred and thirty-four shares of public transit - you see, I do have a general idea of my holdings - I sympathize with you. Charles Foster Kane is a scoundrel. His paper s...
Cal: [Jacob is standing naked in the men's locker room, legs spread apart] Cal: Would you put on some clothes please? Jacob: Jacob: Oh, I'm sorry. Is this bothering you? Cal: Cal [annoyed] Cal: No! It's not! Jacob: Jacob: Cal, my schwantz is in your ...
[about his wife] Frank Alexander: She was very badly raped, you see! We were assaulted by a gang of vicious, young, hoodlums in this house! In this very room you are sitting in now! I was left a helpless cripple, but for her the agony was too great! ...
Truman Capote: I had lunch with Jimmy Baldwin the other day. Party date: How is he? Truman Capote: He's lovely, he's a lovely man. And he told me the plot of his new book. And he said, "I just wanted to make sure it's not one of those problem novels,...
Cop At Scene: Hey, Detective. Nice entrance. Graham: Fuck you. [to Detective Carr] Graham: Hey. Detective Carr: You okay? Graham: I'm freezing. Detective Carr: Shit. I heard it might snow. Graham: Get outta here. Detective Carr: That's what I heard. ...
Major Strasser: Are you one of those people who cannot imagine the Germans in their beloved Paris? Rick: It's not particularly my beloved Paris. Heinz: Can you imagine us in London? Rick: When you get there, ask me! Captain Renault: Hmmh! Diplomatist...
Nicky Santoro: You call yourself a man? You know you're a lyin', low-life, motherfuckin' gambling degenerate prick? You know that's what you are? Two small kids at home. I gave you money to pay the fuckin' rent and buy groceries, put the heat on. You...
[when Pazu and Sheeta are preparing to launch in the kite] Dola: Are you up there, Sheeta, my dear? Sheeta: Yes. Dola: Best ya come down right now! Sheeta: But why? Dola: Uh? 'Cause you're a GIRL! A FEMALE! That's MAN'S work! Sheeta: But YOU'RE femal...