Mike Zavala: [after the Captain walks out] Why do you get nervous? Brian Taylor: Women want him, men want to be him, man. He's just... Mike Zavala: Yeah, I know. But you want him. Brian Taylor: Dude, I'm not gay, but I'd go down on him if he asked. M...
Lacerda: Too bad you guys missed the bikes checking in, oh MAN what a sight! Husquavarnas, Yamahas, DMZs... [Duke watching war footage on acid sees Lacerda turn into a Vietnam commando] Lacerda: Kawasakis! Maicos! Pursangs! Swedish Fireballs! [Return...
Chuckie: Every day I come by your house and I pick you up. And we go out. We have a few drinks, and a few laughs, and it's great. But you know what the best part of my day is? For about ten seconds, from when I pull up to the curb and when I get to y...
Skylar: What if I said I wouldn't have sex with you again 'til I got to meet your friends; what would you say? Will: I'd say it's 4:30 in the morning; they're probably up. [he picks up Skylar's phone and begins dialing] Skylar: [laughing] Men are sha...
Lambeau: [attempting to prove to Sean that his interest in Will is not about fame] Tim, can you help us? We're trying to settle a bet. Tim: Uh-oh. Lambeau: Ever heard of Jonas Salk? Tim: Sure, cured polio. Lambeau: And you've heard of Albert Einstein...
Pete Dunham: [to Bovver] This is Matt, Shannon's brother. Matt Buckner: [Holds his hand out to Bovver] Hey. [Bovver turns his head and smokes his cigarette] Swill: That's the painting on his face, he don't give a fuck, does he? He don't give a fuck. ...
Elgin Perkins: Hello guys. I'm Mr Perkins, Troy's father. Richard 'Data' Wang: We know who Troy is. He's that cheap guy. Brandon Walsh: My dad's not home, Mr. Perkins. Elgin Perkins: Is your mommy here? Brandon Walsh: [scarcastically] No, actually sh...
Mama Fratelli: Four waters. Is that all? Mouth, Mikey: [everyone else says yes] Mouth: No! I want the veal scalopini. Mikey: Shut up Mouth. Mouth: I want a good fettucini alfredo. I want a bottle of fettucine, a 1981. Mouth: [makes a kissing sound w...
Baker: Here, this is for you. You did a good job for me. Worth five hundred dollars, [hands over a purse] Angel Eyes: Oh I almost forgot. He gave me a thousand. I think his idea was that I kill you. [they both laugh] Angel Eyes: But you know the pity...
Graduation Speaker: High school is like the training wheels for the bicycle of real life. It is a time when young people can explore different fields of interest and hopefully learn from their experiences. In coming to terms with my own personal setb...
Malfoy: Ah, come to see the show? Hermione: [shouts] You! You foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach! [Hermione raises her wand at Malfoy. He backs against the wall, whimpering] Ron: Hermione, no! He's not worth it. [Hermione lowers her wand and turn...
Sallah: Please, what does it always mean, this... this "Junior"? Professor Henry Jones: That's his name. [points to himself] Professor Henry Jones: Henry Jones... [points to Indy] Professor Henry Jones: ...Junior. Indiana Jones: I like "Indiana." Pro...
Det. Bill Mitchell: Hey Keith, let me see your shoe. Keith Frazier: What? Det. Bill Mitchell: Lemme see your shoe. Keith Frazier: Why? Det. Bill Mitchell: 'Cause I have never seen anyone put their foot that far up a guy's ass. Keith Frazier: [Busts o...
Dr. Miles J. Bennell: This is the oddest thing I've ever heard of. Let's hope we don't catch it. I'd hate to wake up some morning and find out that you weren't you. Becky: [laughs] I'm not the high school kid you use to romance, so how can you tell? ...
The Bride: Then give me one of these. Hattori Hanzo: They're not for sale. The Bride: I didn't say "sell me", I said "give me". Hattori Hanzo: [laughs] Why should I help you? The Bride: Because my vermin is a former student of yours. And considering ...
Damon Macready: So... Have you thought a little more about what you might want for your birthday? Mindy Macready: Can I get a puppy? Damon Macready: [surprised] You wanna get a dog? Mindy Macready: Yeah, a cuddly fluffy one, and a Bratz movie-star ma...
[Ted is having lunch with his boss] Ted Kramer: So the other morning, I'm at the refrigerator... you know, getting Billy ready for school. So I'm just in my underwear and he notices I've lost weight. And he comes in and pats me. He comes up to here [...
Aragorn: [to the corsair ships] You may go no further! You will not enter Gondor. Captain: Who are you to deny us passage? Aragorn: Legolas, fire a warning shot past the bosun's ear. Gimli: Mind your aim! [Legolas aims; Gimli knocks the bow as he sho...
Ursula: [watching Flotsam and Jetsam knock the boat with Ariel and Eric in it about to kiss] Nice work boys. That was a close one too close! The little tramp! [sighs] Ursula: Well, she's better than I thought. At this rate, he'll be kissing her by su...
Mike: Come on, the coast is clear. Ok, all we have to do is get rid of that thing, so wait here while I get its cardkey. Sulley: But she can't stay here this is the men's room. [pause] Mike: That is the weirdest thing you have ever said. Its fine, it...
Scott Smith: [Harvey and Scott are finally sitting down to dinner] Don't say ANYTHING. Harvey Milk: [tucks his napkin under the collar of his shirt, eats a bite] Can I just tell you... Scott Smith: If you say anything, about politics, or the campaign...
