First Man at Auto Shop: Here's where the infant's head went through the wind-shield. Three points. Man #2 at Auto Shop: The teenager's braces are still wrapped around the backseat ashtray. Might make a good anti-smoking ad. First Man at Auto Shop: Th...
Dr. Gonzo: He got a hold of my woman, man! Raoul Duke: You mean that blonde groupie with the film crew? Shit. Think he sodomized her? [chuckles] Dr. Gonzo: That's right, laugh about it. Raoul Duke: He's gluing her eyes shut right now, man. Dr. Gonzo:...
Star-Lord: Here you go. [Quill presents the prosthetic leg Rocket requested] Rocket Raccoon: Oh, I was just kidding about the leg. I just need these two things. Star-Lord: What? Rocket Raccoon: [laughing] No, I thought it'd be funny! Was it funny? No...
Melvin Udall: [Sitting in the bar after Carol storms out] Well, it's not right to go into details, I got nervous. I screwed up, I said the wrong thing... Where if I hadn't, I could be in bed right now with a woman who, if you make her laugh, you got ...
Roberta: [looking at a drawing of a man smashing another man's head in with a sledgehammer] What can you tell us about your piece, er... Phillip? Phillip: Er... it's about The Mutilator. Roberta: [smiling] My goodness! Phillip: It's a really great vi...
Hiccup: [playing with Toothless] He's down! Ah, and it's ugly! Dragons and Vikings, enemies again, locked in combat to the bitter... [Toothless pins Hiccup, who moans in mock pain. Toothless then licks him repeatedly] Hiccup: Ugh! C'mon! [jumps to hi...
Snotlout: If that dragon shows either of its faces, I'm gonna... there! [He and Tuffnut throw their buckets of water] Ruffnut, Astrid: AH! [the gas clears] Ruffnut: Hey! It's us, idiots! Tuffnut: Your butts are getting bigger! We thought you were a ...
Capt. Bart Mancuso: [Ramius comments in Russian to Borodin that Mancuso is a "buckaroo". Ryan laughs] What's so funny? Jack Ryan: Ah, the Captain seems to think you're some kind of... cowboy. Captain Ramius: [spoken "You parle ruski"] You speak Russi...
Dr. Sanderson: It sounds funny, but I'll miss this place. I guess I'll miss a lot of things around here. Miss Kelly: You will? Dr. Sanderson: You won't laugh? Miss Kelly: Of course not. Dr. Sanderson: You know how it is working around people day afte...
Fast Eddie: What if I don't pay ya, Bert? Bert Gordon: [laughs] You don't pay me? You're gonna get your thumbs broken again. And your fingers. If I want 'em to, they're gonna break your right arm in three or four places. Minnesota Fats: You better pa...
Philippe: [Driss shaves François beard turning into a weird mustache] Oh, it's awful. [moments later, it's turned into a old-fashioned mustache] Philippe: I look like my grandpa. Driss: Okay. Let me shave the rest off. Philippe: [François now has a...
Bill: Anyhow, they all fell under her Hanzo sword. Budd: She's got a Hanzo sword? Bill: He made one for her. Budd: Didn't he swear a blood oath to never make another sword? Bill: It would appear he has broken it. Budd: Them Japs sure know how to hold...
Pvt. Willard: Big Joe, do I gotta carry all this equipment, and this satchel charge, and this .30-caliber machine gun too? Big Joe: Nah, give the .30-caliber to the hustler. He wants to be a hero. [Willard and Cowboy share a chuckle before Willard br...
Shenzi: What's the hurry? We'd love you to stick around for dinner. Banzai: Yeah. We could have whatever's "lion" around. Shenzi: Oh wait, wait, wait. I got one, I got one. Make mine a "cub" sandwich. Whatcha think? [all laugh] Shenzi: [Ed points] Sh...
Ratso Rizzo: Here I am, goin' to Florida, my leg hurts, my butt hurts, my chest hurts, my face hurts, and like that ain't enough, I gotta pee all over myself. [Joe Buck laughs] Ratso Rizzo: That's funny? I'm fallin' apart here! Joe Buck: It's just - ...
Mulan: [Mulan and Mushu escape back to shore from Yao, Ling, and Chin-Po] Boy, that was close. Mushu: No... Mushu: [brushes his teeth] That was vile! You owe me big. [Mushu squirts more toothpaste in his mouth and brushes again] Mulan: I never want t...
Elizabeth Bennet: Now if every man in the room does not end the evening in love with you then I am no judge of beauty. Jane Bennet: [giggles] Or men. Elizabeth Bennet: [laughs brightly] No, they are far too easy to judge. Jane Bennet: They're not all...
Policeman: Do you have any disgruntled employees? Nathan Arizona Sr.: Hell, they're all disgruntled. I ain't running no damn daisy farm. My motto is "Do it my way or watch your butt!" Policeman: Well, do you think any of them could've done it? Nathan...
[at the police station] Slimey Lawyer: Attempted murder? Well, it's not like he killed someone. This is a clear violation of my client's civil rights. Bail Bondsman: Make it aggravated assault and I can make bail, in cash, now! Sgt. Reed: [angrily] L...
[the gleeful gang shoots Murphy firing-squad style till... ] Joe Cox: Shit! I'm out of ammo. Emil: Me, too. Joe Cox: [to a mangled Murphy, in sing-songy taunting tone] Does it hurt? Does it hurt? [laughs] Clarence Boddicker: Okay, fun's over. [shoots...
Jim Stark: Did you make my sandwiches? Mrs. Carol Stark: There's meatloaf and, peanut butter. [Jim laughs] Mrs. Stark, Jim's grandmother: What did I tell you? [condescendingly] Mrs. Stark, Jim's grandmother: Peanut butter. Mrs. Carol Stark: Well ther...
