Gru: [reading the book he wrote] One big unicorn, strong and free, thought he was happy as he could be. Then three little kittens came around and turned his whole life upside down. They made him laugh, they made him cry. He never should have said goo...
Colin Sullivan: Hey, now why do you work for the state? Madolyn: Why not? You do. Colin Sullivan: No, what you do, the degrees and everything you got, you're hot shit. So why do you make as much as a guidance counselor? Madolyn: Because... I believe ...
Lord Robert: When you are Queen... Elizabeth: I am not... [whispering] Elizabeth: I am not Queen yet! Lord Robert: You will be. Elizabeth, Queen of England. A court to worship you, a country to obey you, poems written celebrating your beauty, music c...
Capitão Nascimento: [at time of the lunch at the BOPE's Boot camp] Sheriff, how many minutes does your team need to eat? Neto: Sir, maybe 10 minutes, Sir. [the senior instructors laugh] Capitão Nascimento: 10 Minutes, Sheriff? SHERIFF, YOU ARE A BU...
First Man at Auto Shop: Here's where the infant's head went through the wind-shield. Three points. Man #2 at Auto Shop: The teenager's braces are still wrapped around the backseat ashtray. Might make a good anti-smoking ad. First Man at Auto Shop: Th...
Dr. Gonzo: He got a hold of my woman, man! Raoul Duke: You mean that blonde groupie with the film crew? Shit. Think he sodomized her? [chuckles] Dr. Gonzo: That's right, laugh about it. Raoul Duke: He's gluing her eyes shut right now, man. Dr. Gonzo:...
Star-Lord: Here you go. [Quill presents the prosthetic leg Rocket requested] Rocket Raccoon: Oh, I was just kidding about the leg. I just need these two things. Star-Lord: What? Rocket Raccoon: [laughing] No, I thought it'd be funny! Was it funny? No...
Melvin Udall: [Sitting in the bar after Carol storms out] Well, it's not right to go into details, I got nervous. I screwed up, I said the wrong thing... Where if I hadn't, I could be in bed right now with a woman who, if you make her laugh, you got ...
Roberta: [looking at a drawing of a man smashing another man's head in with a sledgehammer] What can you tell us about your piece, er... Phillip? Phillip: Er... it's about The Mutilator. Roberta: [smiling] My goodness! Phillip: It's a really great vi...
Hiccup: [playing with Toothless] He's down! Ah, and it's ugly! Dragons and Vikings, enemies again, locked in combat to the bitter... [Toothless pins Hiccup, who moans in mock pain. Toothless then licks him repeatedly] Hiccup: Ugh! C'mon! [jumps to hi...
Snotlout: If that dragon shows either of its faces, I'm gonna... there! [He and Tuffnut throw their buckets of water] Ruffnut, Astrid: AH! [the gas clears] Ruffnut: Hey! It's us, idiots! Tuffnut: Your butts are getting bigger! We thought you were a ...
Capt. Bart Mancuso: [Ramius comments in Russian to Borodin that Mancuso is a "buckaroo". Ryan laughs] What's so funny? Jack Ryan: Ah, the Captain seems to think you're some kind of... cowboy. Captain Ramius: [spoken "You parle ruski"] You speak Russi...
Dr. Sanderson: It sounds funny, but I'll miss this place. I guess I'll miss a lot of things around here. Miss Kelly: You will? Dr. Sanderson: You won't laugh? Miss Kelly: Of course not. Dr. Sanderson: You know how it is working around people day afte...
Fast Eddie: What if I don't pay ya, Bert? Bert Gordon: [laughs] You don't pay me? You're gonna get your thumbs broken again. And your fingers. If I want 'em to, they're gonna break your right arm in three or four places. Minnesota Fats: You better pa...
Philippe: [Driss shaves François beard turning into a weird mustache] Oh, it's awful. [moments later, it's turned into a old-fashioned mustache] Philippe: I look like my grandpa. Driss: Okay. Let me shave the rest off. Philippe: [François now has a...
Bill: Anyhow, they all fell under her Hanzo sword. Budd: She's got a Hanzo sword? Bill: He made one for her. Budd: Didn't he swear a blood oath to never make another sword? Bill: It would appear he has broken it. Budd: Them Japs sure know how to hold...
Pvt. Willard: Big Joe, do I gotta carry all this equipment, and this satchel charge, and this .30-caliber machine gun too? Big Joe: Nah, give the .30-caliber to the hustler. He wants to be a hero. [Willard and Cowboy share a chuckle before Willard br...
Shenzi: What's the hurry? We'd love you to stick around for dinner. Banzai: Yeah. We could have whatever's "lion" around. Shenzi: Oh wait, wait, wait. I got one, I got one. Make mine a "cub" sandwich. Whatcha think? [all laugh] Shenzi: [Ed points] Sh...
Ratso Rizzo: Here I am, goin' to Florida, my leg hurts, my butt hurts, my chest hurts, my face hurts, and like that ain't enough, I gotta pee all over myself. [Joe Buck laughs] Ratso Rizzo: That's funny? I'm fallin' apart here! Joe Buck: It's just - ...
Mulan: [Mulan and Mushu escape back to shore from Yao, Ling, and Chin-Po] Boy, that was close. Mushu: No... Mushu: [brushes his teeth] That was vile! You owe me big. [Mushu squirts more toothpaste in his mouth and brushes again] Mulan: I never want t...
Elizabeth Bennet: Now if every man in the room does not end the evening in love with you then I am no judge of beauty. Jane Bennet: [giggles] Or men. Elizabeth Bennet: [laughs brightly] No, they are far too easy to judge. Jane Bennet: They're not all...
