I know this is going to sound very self-serving, and I apologize for it, but if you can write comedy, you can pretty much write anything, because it's the hardest. It's the most technically demanding, the most precisely evaluated form of writing. Peo...
I have, like, two and a half years of failed jokes that I know I wouldn't repeat, but I certainly have no comprehension of what definitely works. And the only gauge that I can go by is, 'This makes me laugh,' and is joyful... I like to, if possible, ...
I laughed under my breath, and it sounded bitter. “Listen to me. What am I talking about, worth it? Is any experience or bit of beauty worth the cost of my life? I know nothing but safety and self-preservation at all costs.” “And yet,” he sai...
Don’t you want this?” The pain in his voice ripped a hole inside her. “I want you so damn much.” Her words choked in her throat. She forced a laugh to keep from crying. “Hell, we can’t seem to keep our hands off each other.” “Should w...
I want to listen to accomplished women scarred by sexism that still walk in elegance and kindness; hear powerful men that have a heart to serve. I want to talk to the brokenhearted that still believe in love; I want to listen to people that laugh eve...
I was horribly shy all through grade school and high school. But somehow I got up the nerve to audition for one play in high school - 'Auntie Mame.' I got a small part as the fiancee who comes on in the end. I got laughs. I wasn't shy at all doing th...
I like to go to the gym with my girls, practice yoga, try new recipes, bake, have slumber parties, go to the beach, have adventures, book hunt, shop for new records, or road trip somewhere... anything that keeps me laughing and excited about the day,...
With a live audience, it's very clear when you've pushed it too far to the edge - because you fall off that edge and hit bottom with a thud. Nothing abstract about that. You know you went too far when you hear that groan or worse - that silence inste...
I am the jongleur. I leap and pirouette, and make you laugh. I make fun of those in power, and I show you how puffed up and conceited are the big shots who go around making wars in which we are the ones who get slaughtered. I reveal them for what the...
For my first show at 'SNL', I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn't getting any laughs. This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, 'Okay, that happened, a...
I love doing comedy, and that's the thing I will always go back to, really, but I'd love to have the freedom to do sort of 'meaty' roles but also have the freedom to do the sort of films I want to make, like what Woody Allen does. You forget he's fun...
When I look back over my life it's almost as if there was a plan laid out for me - from the little girl who was so passionate about animals who longed to go to Africa and whose family couldn't afford to put her through college. Everyone laughed at my...
I love it when a woman hugs me. I love it when they say that I make them laugh because that means I'm doing what God called me to do. I love people. I love it when little old ladies come up and want to kiss me. It means so much to me that I get suppo...
I have always been down to test what I can do and push the limits of my acting. I have always wanted to try new genres and stuff - but I love comedy. I grew up on comedy, and I love having a good time and making people laugh. But it is also really ni...
That dress…was a very, very good decision. I could write an entire poem on the virtues of your legs alone. You are a feast for the senses.” I laughed. “I don’t know about a feast. Maybe just an hors d'oeuvre.” He took my hand and wrapped it...
If I had to put a name to it, I would wish that all my books were entertainments. I think the first thing you've got to do is grab the reader by the ear, and make him sit down and listen. Make him laugh, make him feel. We all want to be entertained a...
Well, my friends give me purple flowers and orange tea and goosedown spinning quilts and torquoise chairs we greet one another in a wild profusion of words and wave farewell amidst the wonderment of air In the laughing times we know we are lucky In t...
One day you’re going to see her holding hands with someone who took your chance. She won’t even notice you because she’s too busy laughing with the stupid jokes he makes. And it will burn your heart seeing that beautiful smile on her face and r...
And I think missing you hurts the most when something funny happens. Because in that one moment I find myself laughing, and within the next second I want to tell or text you what happened. And then it hits me again, every single time, that you aren�...
The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, converting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to hea...
I made sure that instead of people making fun of me, like every comedian probably says, I made fun of myself first so they would get distracted and just laugh. I was pretty brutally picked on for a while growing up. It was always the really pretty gi...
