I went to dinner with my mother-in-law and I just realized I was talking in sound bites to her and expecting her to laugh every time I said anything or be jotting something down in a notebook. So you have to kind of really have a talk with yourself a...
Samuel Beckett's 'Waiting for Godot,' billed as 'the laugh sensation of two continents,' made its American debut at the Coconut Grove Playhouse, in Miami, Florida, in 1956. My father, Bert Lahr, was playing Estragon, one of the two bowler-hatted tram...
The funniest people I know were, not necessarily troubled, but had a harder time in school or were shy or picked on or something like that. I think that you rely on it. 'Well, I don't think I'm cute and no one wants to hang out with me - I'd better s...
I laugh when Floyd Mayweather says that if he went back in time he would beat us all. I'll tell you this: if he was in the same era as Hagler and Hearns and Leonard and me, I don't think he would be such a big name. There is too much talk.
I very rarely laugh. I remember I used to have a joy at comedy. I remember going to see Sean Lock for the first time live, just in some comedy club when I was 18, and again, just guttural, pure laughter. I didn't know what he was doing; I couldn't se...
Captain Renault: [suspecting that Rick has the letters of transit] Rick, have you got those letters of transit? Rick: Louis, are you pro-Vichy or Free French? Captain Renault: [laughs] Serves me right for asking a direct question. The subject is clos...
Ralphie: Hey Dad! I'll bet you'll never guess what I got you for Christmas. The Old Man: A new furnace. Ralphie: Ha ha! That's a good one, Dad! [Randy laughs]
The Chechen: What do you propose? The Joker: It's simple. We, uh, kill the Batman. [mobsters laugh] Salvatore Maroni: If it's so simple, why haven't you done it already? The Joker: If you're good at something, never do it for free.
Sal: Do your friends put money in your pocket, Pino? Food on your table, they pay your rent, a roof over your head? They're not your friends. If they were your friends they wouldn't laugh at you.
Sir Francis Walsingham: [how a wise man would change allegiance] There are but two choices: he would get into bed with either Spain or France. Mary of Guise: [laughs, then smiles wickedly] And... whose bed would you prefer?
Narrator: Now, look - will the soundtrack kindly produce a sound? [it is silent] Narrator: Go on, don't be nervous. Go ahead - any sound. Narrator: [blows a "raspberry", vibrating as it does so] Narrator: [laughs] Narrator: Umm... that isn't *quite* ...
Ken: Rev-enge! Otto: [laughing] It's K-K-K-Ken! C-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill me! How you gonna c-c-c-catch me, K-K-K-Ken?
Rocket Raccoon: He called me "vermin"! [points to Drax] Rocket Raccoon: She called me "rodent"! [points to Gamora] Rocket Raccoon: Let's see if you can laugh after five or six good shots in your freakin' face!
Mike Tyson: By the way man, where you get that cop car from? Stu Price: We uh, stole it from these dumbass cops. Mike Tyson: *Nice*! [laughing] Mike Tyson: *Nice*! High five there!... That's nice!
Jeffrey Pelt: Okay, when do you leave? Jack Ryan: [laughing] Wait a minute! The General was right. I am not field personnel, I am only an analyst. Jeffrey Pelt: You're perfect.
Lestat: [to Louis] Feed on what you will. Rats, chickens, poodles, I'll leave you to it and watch you come around. But just remember, life without me would be even more unbearable. [laughs]
Cooper: It is hard leaving everything... my kids, your father... Brand: We're gonna be spending a lot of time together. Cooper: We should learn to talk. Brand: And when not to? [laughs] Brand: Just being honest. Cooper: I don't think you need to be t...
Mayor Vaughn: Any special questions? Denherder: Uh, is that $3000 bounty on the shark in cash or check? [the townspeople laugh] Mrs. Taft: I don't think that's funny. I don't think that's funny at all, I'm sorry.
Adult Pi Patel: What has mamaji already told you? Writer: He said you had a story that would make me believe in God. Adult Pi Patel: [laughs] He would say that about a nice meal.
Gimli: [failing to see over the wall] What's happening out there? Legolas: Shall I describe it to you? Gimli: [turns] Hmm? Legolas: Or would you like me to find you a box? [Gimli laughs]
Bob: I was feeling tight in the shoulders and neck, so I called down and had a Shiatsu massage in my room... Charlotte: Mmh, that's nice! Bob: And the tightness has completely disappeared and been replaced by unbelievable pain. [Charlotte laughs]
