I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make sure the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true f...
People tell me they laughed hard enough to wake their spouses, that they've given away numerous copies to friends, and that it's the one Trek book they'll give to people they wouldn't expect to like others.
I spent a day in a neck brace on a hospital trolley after falling from a horse and cart in Ireland. All the nurses thought I was a traveler, which made me laugh. Who else comes into a hospital saying they've fallen off a horse and cart?
Don't you understand how dramatic it is to be a comic? To be a fool, to get people to laugh at this show-off? Milton Berle could take Laurence Olivier and stick him under the table if he wanted to. And so could I.
Sheik's Grandson: [looking at a large yacht in a small pond] I see they spent my grandfather's gold well. Adult Walter: [laughing] Well, there was this one travelling salesman...
The Joker: [reciting his poem to Vicki] I'm only laughing on the outside / My smile is just skin deep / If you could see inside I'm really crying / You might join me for a weep.
Cindy: [laughing] Good luck. I'd like to see you think about what you say instead of saying what you think all the time. Good luck.
When you're starting out as an actor, you keep raising the stakes. First, you just want to be a character who comes on stage and gets a laugh or two and exits. Just five minutes on a stage, not even Broadway. But every time you say your little prayer...
I always say to anybody who's going over to America for the first time, 'Whatever you do, go and see a popular mainstream film with a big audience.' Because people shout out. You never get that in Britain. Everybody's so quiet, scared to laugh. It's ...
I've been approached after shows from people who said, 'I don't agree with anything you said, but I laughed the whole way through.' That's still a little strange to me. Like, nothing, really? But at the same time, that's what happens in a conversatio...
You know the phrase 'Jesus laughed' isn't ever used in the Gospels. So, most people walk away with the idea that Jesus is a pretty serious guy, pretty sour faced most of the time, pretty upset at what's going on around Him.
Making children cry for a photographer can be considered mean. But I would say that making children laugh and show off their jeans for an apparel ad is just as exploitative and less natural. Toddlers' natural state, like, 30 percent of the time, is c...
Odds are you know some narcissists. Odds are they're smart, confident and articulate. They make you laugh, they make you think; the first time you met, they probably charmed the pants off of you - perhaps even literally. The odds are also that that s...
I would feel ill without theater. It's kind of a cliche, but every time you make a mistake, you really do have to learn from it to move on. When you're doing something live, there's no time to dwell. Hopefully you'll laugh it off, but if not, you can...
Edmond: We are kings or pawns, a man once said. Luigi: Who told you this? Edmond: Napolean Bonaparte. Luigi: Bonaparte? [laughs] Luigi: Oh, Zatarra, the stories you tell.
Christian Beaulieu 24 à 30 ans: [laughing at Antoine's hockey fight] You got beaten up by Tremblay's little fag. Antoine Beaulieu 21 à 27 ans: What, you four-eye fag?
Ario: [the engines have restarted] They're... they're running. I think they're running! Der Leitende: Who says you can't make something out of nothing? [the LI laughs a nervous, giddy, girly giggle]
[approching a group of Japanese soldiers in Shanghai] Jamie: Excuse me everyone... [throws arms up] Jamie: I surrender. Japanese Soldiers: [laughing and mocking Jamie] I surrender! I surrender. Banzai! Banzai!
[last lines] Dr. Richard Kimble: I thought you didn't care? Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: I don't. [laughs] Deputy Marshal Samuel Gerard: Don't tell anybody, OK?
[after Joker kills the sniper] Private Rafterman: [laughs] Hey Joker, we ought to put you up for the congressional medal of... ugly! Ha-ha! Donlon: Hard core man, hard core.
Sharts: I wonder when they gonna give us the blue suits. Trip: [laughs] Where you from, boy? Sharts: South Carolina. Trip: South Carolina? Well, then you ought to know better than that, boy.
