I need wrong to get laughs. I need a normal world so that I can be abnormal, and that's my problem. Comedians need prejudice.
If the worst thing that can happen is that nobody laughs, then I can deal with that, because the worst thing that can happen at the factory is that I could lose a limb or be crushed by a huge machine.
I'm not a mean comic, I don't want to turn anybody off - I just want to give a point of view or my take on things that everyone can laugh at.
I don't like the new trends in horror. All this torture stuff seems really mean-spirited. People have forgotten how to laugh, and I don't see anybody who's using it as allegory.
When I tell my American counterparts that my budget was $200,000 per episode, they burst out laughing. To us that's a big production, to them it's a guerrilla shoot.
I always laugh at these rock n'rollers where you can't understand them. Mind you, it's not because they're inaudible or indistinguishable; it's because they're too obscure.
But I couldn't cut that whole septic tank scene out because the audience liked it so much. So I sort of fell right back into getting a cheap laugh, but I still loved it.
Asking is the beginning of receiving. Make sure you don't go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won't laugh at you.
There is a place called ‘heaven’ where the good here unfinished is completed; and where the stories unwritten, and the hopes unfulfilled, are continued. We may laugh together yet.
I've never really worked on them. Just once in a while one hits me and makes me laugh. My Al Gore was sort of like a gay Gomer Pyle.
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
When I walk out on stage, I don't know who's in the audience. To me, in my little fat skull, the laugh is just the widest demographic you can get.
I did standup while still working for Johnny Carson in the mid-'60s, thus gaining the advantage of at least getting laughs from him about how I hadn't the night before.
Though rom-coms aren't necessarily my cup of tea, I was a huge fan of 'Notting Hill.' I laughed a lot, and the romance got to me.
I often laugh and say I should go down to the Department of the Interior and register as an endangered species. I'm a gay man over 60 and I'm alive.
I have this recurring nightmare where I'm giving a speech in front of my old high school classmates, and they start laughing at me, and I look down and realize I'm naked. And a shark.
The moment you feel joy, the moment you laugh and change your perception, you change your immunity, your body chemistry, and your whole well-being.
When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.
When kids hit 1 year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.
Ever since I was young, I've read Austen and the Brontes. My friends laugh, but those books are always so tragic and wonderful - those stories, they're just incredible.
Never tell a warm-up joke before giving an intelligence briefing – just start the briefing so you can get straight to the really big laughs.
