I have a great track record, and I have never been sued. If I can't find someone for someone, I refer them out. I have an affiliate division of matchmakers all over the world that I work with. Men like certain types of women, and I can subcontract th...
I'm good at separating my personal life from racing. When I'm at track, it's race time; when I'm away from it, other than the fact I'm training to be fit for it, there is nothing at home that makes me even want to think about racing. I just want to e...
'Trilogy' was more of a claustrophobic body of work. Before it was released, I hadn't left my city for 21 years, and I had never been on a plane, not once. I spent my entire life on one setting; that's probably why pieces of the album feel like one l...
Failures are much more dramatic than successes, and people like drama. I think this is why automobile races draw such crowds. People expect spectacular crashes, which we tend to find more interesting than cars just racing around the track. The same i...
The problem with gross domestic product is the gross bit. There are no deductions involved: all economic activity is accounted as if it were of positive value. Social harm is added to, not subtracted from, social good. A train crash which generates �...
Elton John can be a master of the sleight of hand. The arrangements make it seem like there are substantial melodies underneath the tracks - but almost nothing demands repeated listenings. Similarly, he always sounds like he's singing up a storm, but...
Pamela Landy: Listen, people - do you have any idea who you're dealing with? This is Jason Bourne. You are nine hours behind the toughest target you have ever tracked. Now I want everyone to sit down, strap in, and turn on all you've got. That would ...
[first lines] Jack: What are your legs? Archy Hamilton: Springs. Steel springs. Jack: What are they going to do? Archy Hamilton: Hurl me down the track. Jack: How fast can you run? Archy Hamilton: As fast as a leopard. Jack: How fast are you going to...
[L.D. Newsome goes to turn the television back on] Jack Twist: You sit down, you ol' son of a bitch! [L.D. stops in his tracks] Jack Twist: This is my house! This is my child! And you are my guest! Now sit the hell down before I knock your ignorant a...
I think Michelle Obama is on the right track with her Let's Move campaign to bring down childhood obesity. She and I come from the same state, Illinois, which is number four in the nation for obese children. One out of five Illinois children are cons...
I break out laughing. I frown. I yell and scream. Sometimes, if one jokes and giggles, one causes war. So I hide how tickled I am. Tears well up in my eyes. My body is a large city. Much grieving in one sector. I live in another part. Lakewater. Some...
Men plan. Fate Laughs. Guis Alera, First Lord
If you don't learn to laugh at life it'll surely kill you, that I know.
Fools that will laugh on earth, most weep in hell.
When your mom was not in labor yelling at me, she made me laugh so hard.
What is existence for but to be laughed at if men in their twenties have already attained the utmost?
Better to be a laughing-stock than lose the fort for fear of being one.
The laugh came then, a marvelous honking hoorah so infectious that Dill felt it should be quarantined.
With my talent, I can make people laugh and give them another attitude about life. What a blessing that is for me.
In the laughing times we know that we are lucky, and in the quiet times we know that we are blessed. And we will not be alone.
What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
