A hundred years from now, people will look back on us and laugh. They'll say, 'You know what people used to believe? They believed in photons and electrons. Can you imagine anything so silly?' They'll have a good laugh, because by then there will be ...
By focusing on the interior of a speaker's larynx and using infrared, he was able to convert the visible vibrations of the vocal cords into sound of fair quality, but that did not satisfy him. He worked for a while on vibrations picked up from panes ...
He laughs. "Put some clothes on so you don't scare poor Kiara with your morning hard-on." I look down at my shorts. Sure enough, I've got la tengo dura in front of Kiara and Tuck. Shit. I reach out for the first thing I can grab and put it in front o...
I made my first fire last night and I didn't even set myself aflame! It was fantastic". "If you need more, there's plenty where that came from". "Sure, I'll take your wood anytime!" Matty fought the smile that threatened to engulf his face, and he co...
Your insult has offended me. If we were at the Peaks, we would have to duel in traditional alil'tiki'i fashion." "Which is what?" Teft asked. "With spears?" Rock laughed. "No, no. We upon the Peaks are not barbarians like you down here." "How then?" ...
All Religions have this in common, that they are an outrage to common sense for they are pieced together out of a variety of elements, some of which seem so unworthy, sordid and at odds with man’s reason, that any strong and vigorous intelligence l...
Are you going to give a speech?' she asked gaily. He gave a choked laugh. 'Of course not,' he said. 'Not for ages.' 'My cousin Davey gave one on his very first day!' ... 'In the Lords, I remember. It was about how he didn't like strawberry jam.' 'Be ...
Wesley Crusher: Say goodbye, Data. Lt. Cmdr. Data: Goodbye, Data. [crew laughs] Lt. Cmdr. Data: Was that funny? Wesley Crusher: [laughs] Lt. Cmdr. Data: Accessing. Ah! Burns and Allen, Roxy Theater, New York City, 1932. It still works. [pauses] Lt. C...
I wish I could do whatever I liked behind the curtain of “madness”. Then: I’d arrange flowers, all day long, I’d paint; pain, love and tenderness, I would laugh as much as I feel like at the stupidity of others, and they would all say: “Poo...
Gru: [Answers cell phone] Hello, Mom. Sorry, I meant to call, but... Gru's Mom: I just wanted to congratulate you on stealing the pyramid. [Gru sighs] Gru's Mom: That was you, wasn't it? Or was it a villain who's actually successful? [laughs] Gru: Ju...
Skylar: You were hoping for a good night kiss. Will: No, you know. I'll tell ya, I was hoping for a good night lay, but I'd settle for a good night kiss. Skylar: [bursts out laughing] How very noble of you. Will: Thank you... But I was, you know, hop...
Oogie Boogie Man: Well well well. What have we here? Sandy Claws, huh? Ooo I'm really scared! So you're the one everybody's talking about? [laughs] Oogie Boogie Man: [singing] You're joking, you're joking/I can't believe my eyes/You're joking me, you...
Mia: Vincent, do you still want to hear my Fox Force Five joke? Vincent: Sure, but I think I'm still a little too petrified to laugh. Mia: No, you wont laugh, 'cus it's not funny. But if you still wanna hear it, I'll tell it. Vincent: I can't wait. M...
Mr. Salt: Where is she going? Willy Wonka: Where all the other bad eggs go, down the garbage chute. Mr. Salt: [laughs] Oh, the garbage chute. Where does it lead to? Willy Wonka: To the furnace. Mr. Salt: [laughs] The furnace! She'll be sizzled like a...
When I die, I plan to be laughing hysterically.
You're not supposed to laugh at your own father. Ever.
So now I get the scepter?" Jason asked. Cupid laughed.
The trouble with you people is that you don't laugh enough.
Fighting, laughing, loving or crying, if it was with him, I was where I wanted to be.
If voting changed anything... I'd still laugh!
The jokes are great but what really matters for a comedian is his performance, his whole attitude, and the laughs that he gets between the jokes rather than on top of the jokes.
