Professor Henry Higgins: You might marry, you know. You see, Eliza, all men are not confirmed old bachelors like myself and the Colonel. Most men are the marrying sort, poor devils. And you're not bad-looking; you're really quite a pleasure to look a...
Max Jerry Horovitz: I was born Jewish and used to believe in God but I've since read many books that have proven God is just a figment of my imagination. People like to believe in God 'cause it answers difficult questions, like where did the universe...
Homer Stokes: [as Grand Kleagle at a KKK rally] Brothers! Oh, brothers! We have all gathered here, to preserve our hallowed culture and heritage! We aim to pull evil up by the root, before it chokes out the flower of our culture and heritage! And our...
Mary Morstan: [Mary asks Holmes to make some deductions regarding herself] What can you tell about me? Sherlock Holmes: You? Dr. John Watson: I don't think that's... Sherlock Holmes: I don't know if that's... Dr. John Watson: Not at dinner. Sherlock ...
Cole Sear: You know the accident up there? Lynn Sear: Yeah. Cole Sear: Someone got hurt. Lynn Sear: They did? Cole Sear: A lady. She died. Lynn Sear: Oh, my god. What, you can see her? Cole Sear: Yes. Lynn Sear: Where is she? Cole Sear: Standing next...
Hamm: Excuse me, ladies, but could any of you tell us where we might the Al of Al's Toy Barn? Tour guide Barbie: I can help! [slides down the slide and into the toy car] Tour guide Barbie: I'm Tour Guide Barbie! Please keep your hands, arms, and acce...
Douglas Quaid: [an old woman/luggage thief grabs the briefcase left on sidewalk for Quaid] Sorry, Ma'am, but this is mine. Woman in Phone Booth: [struggling with him] I don't see your name on it! Douglas Quaid: Someone lent it to me. [continues to st...
Bernadette: [to the Bartender] Hello. Could I please have a Stoli and tonic, a Bloody Mary and a lime daiquiri, please? Shirley: Well! Look what the cat dragged in! What have we got here, eh? A couple of showgirls, have we? Where did you ladies come ...
Genie: I'm telling you, nice to be back, ladies and gentlemen. Hi! Where you from? What's your name? Aladdin: Uh... uh, Aladdin. Genie: Aladdin! Hello, Aladdin, nice to have you on the show. Can we call you Al, or maybe just Din? Or how about Laddie?...
Senior Ed Bloom: People needn't worry so much. It's not my time yet. This is not how I go. Will Bloom: Really? Senior Ed Bloom: Truly. I saw it in the eye. Will Bloom: The old lady by the swamp? Senior Ed Bloom: She was a *witch*. Will Bloom: No, she...
Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old wai...
Did Cinderella wonder whether her prince would have cared for her had he first seen her in her everyday clothes? Did she believe the ladies of the palace were truly her friends or did she suspect they were just friendly because she was the princess a...
Oh, Lord Montgomery, what do you mean to do with me in this bedroom when you have me all alone? An innocent maiden, and unprotected? Is my virtue safe? 'I, ah- what?' 'I know you are a dangerous man. Some call you a rake. Everybody knows you are a de...
Sophie," he said, and when she gave him a stern look, he took a hasty swig of the posset. “Miss Collins. I have not yet had a chance to properly apologize to you, so let me take it now. Please forgive me for the trick I played on you with the scone...
Thomas Wollaston, in the Annals and Magazine of Natural History, complained that Darwin did no seem to know what a species actually was. The British Quarterly, deliberately sitting up trouble, speculated that a time might come when a monkey could pro...
Ultimately, musicians of the world must come realise the potential of their calling. Like the shamans, we may serve as healers, metaphysicians, inciters, exciters, spiritual guides and sources of inspiration. If the musician is illuminated from withi...
For they were alone, and he was one of the seven persons in the world who knew the Archmage's name. The others were the Master Namer of Roke; and Ogion the Silent, the wizard of Re Albi, who long ago on the mountain of Gont had given Ged that name; a...
Why is it a girl has to be so silly to catch a husband?” “Ah specs it’s kase gempmums doan know whut dey wants. Dey jes’ knows whut dey thinks dey wants. An’ givin’ dem whut dey thinks dey wants saves a pile of mizry an’ bein’ a ole m...
Listen up, Mount High-Hair," Gustav barked. "Say what you want about me, but lay off the rest of the team. I've been through a lot of stuff with these people. Nobody can tell me that Fancy Dancer and Lady Slick-Pants aren't heroes. Captain Gloom-Cape...
Here's a news flash for the ladies: for every one of you who thinks we all want a girl like Angelina Jolie, all skinny elbows and angles, the truth is, we'd rather curl up with someone like Charlotte - a woman who's soft when a guy wraps his arms aro...
In truth she is not a hard lady naturally, and the time has been when the sight of the venerable figure suing to her with such strong earnestness would have moved her to great compassion. But so long accustomed to suppress emotion and keep down reali...
