Marwood: How come Monty owns such a horrible little shack? Withnail: No idea. Marwood: You never discuss your family do you? Withnail: I fail to see my family's of any interest to you. I've absolutely no interest in yours. I dislike relatives in gene...
Captain: 12:30? AUTO, why didn't you wake me for morning announcements? Honestly, it's the one thing I get to do on this ship. [Resets the ship back to morning] Captain: Well, good morning, everybody, and welcome to day 255,642 aboard the Axiom. As a...
Jordan Belfort: [on getting arrested] I'm sober for two years, stopped my drugs, settled down with my wife and kids, and then this happens! Rugrat gets busted down in Miami, and guess who happens to be with him? Saurel! That's right, out of all the S...
Harry Burns: There are two kinds of women: high maintenance and low maintenance. Sally Albright: Which one am I? Harry Burns: You're the worst kind; you're high maintenance but you think you're low maintenance. Sally Albright: I don't see that. Harry...
Sally Albright: Well, if you must know, it was because he was very jealous, and I had these days of the week underpants. Harry Burns: Ehhhh. I'm sorry. I need the judges ruling on this. "Days of the weeks underpants"? Sally Albright: Yes. They had th...
Professor X: Logan, don't you have a class to teach? Logan: A class? Professor X: In history. Logan: History... Well, actually I could use some help with that. Professor X: Help with that? Logan: Everything from 1973. [Professor then looks at Logan] ...
Lieutenant John Chard: Well, you've fought your first action. Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead: Does everyone feel like this afterwards? Lieutenant John Chard: How do you feel? Lieutenant Gonville Bromhead: Sick. Lieutenant John Chard: Well, you have to ...
Surgeon Maj. Reynolds: You know what you've got there, my malingering Hector? Pte. Henry Hook: No, sir. Hook's the name, sir. Surgeon Maj. Reynolds: You've got a fine glistening boil, my friend. There's one glistening boil for every soldier in Africa...
[after Juror #8 has established that the old man witness could not have heard the killing over the noise of the elevated train] Juror #3: Why should he lie? What's he got to gain? Juror #9: Attention, maybe. Juror #3: You keep coming in with these br...
Dan Evans: What did Doc Potter give his life for, William? McElroy... Ben Wade: Little red ants on a hill. Butterfield: I'll pay you the 200, Dan. Right now. And you can walk away. Dan Evans: You know, this whole ride... it's been egging on me. That'...
[Lester and Carolyn are driving to the basketball game to watch Jane's dance team gig] Lester Burnham: Well what makes you so sure she wants us to be there? Did she ask us to come? Carolyn Burnham: Of course not. She doesn't want us to know how impor...
Donald Kaufman: [spying on Susan with binoculars] She's crying. She's at her computer. Charlie Kaufman: This is morally reprehensible. Donald Kaufman: United... to Miami. Eleven... fifty five am tomorrow. I thought she was down with Laroche. Charlie ...
Dick Liddil: Can you hand me that six-gun there, Bob? [Bob hands Dick his "grandaddy" paterson colt] Dick Liddil: [holding the gun to Bob's head, whispering] If you so much as mention my name to Jesse... Boy, I'd find out about it. You had better bel...
Paul Hackett: Which way you headed? Marcy: Downtown, SoHo. Paul Hackett: Oh, nice... nice. A loft? Marcy: Yeah, she's a sculptress. Lately she's been making these Plaster of Paris bagel and cream cheeses. Paul Hackett: Really... Marcy: She's tryin to...
Jonathan Brewster: Tonight, we are taking care of Mortimer. Dr. Einstein: But, Johnny, not tonight. I'm sleepy. We'll do it tomorrow, or the next day. Jonathan Brewster: Look at me, Doctor. You can see that it's got to be done, can't you? Dr. Einstei...
Howard Hughes: Stop there, if you please, Miss Domergue. Have you had surgery, Miss Domergue? Faith Domergue: No. Howard Hughes: Do you have scars of *any* kind? Faith Domergue: No. Howard Hughes: Wipe off your lipstick. That's much better. Now you u...
David Huxley: My bone. It's rare. It's precious. What did you do with it? Susan Vance: The bone! David Huxley: Susan, you had it. Give it to me. Susan Vance: No, I haven't got it. David Huxley: Did you carry it somewhere? Susan Vance: No, David. Why ...
[1885 - Marty walks into a saloon, dressed in the outfit that Doc Brown gave him in 1955] Saloon Old-Timer #1: Take a look and see what just breezed in the door. Saloon Old-Timer #2: Why, I didn't know the circus was in town. Saloon Old Timer #3: Mus...
Barbed-Wire Salesman: I've never seen a man so broken up over a woman. What did he say her name was, Cara, Sara? Older Man on Train 2: Clara. Barbed-Wire Salesman: Clara! Clara Clayton: [Clara's eyes light up and she spins around in her seat] Excuse ...
Jesus Quintana: You ready to be fucked, man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up. The Dude: Yeah, well, you know, that's just, like, your opinion, man. Jesus Quintana: Let me tell you somethin...
Edward Cole: [Spoiler] [about his daughter and her husband] Edward Cole: The first time he hit her, she came to me. Wouldn't let me take care of it, said it was her fault, he'd had a rough day and too much to drink. The next time he hit her, she didn...
