[first lines] Andy Kaufman: Hello. I am Andy and I would like to thank you for coming to my movie. I wish it was *better*, you know, but... it is so stupid! It's terrible! I do not even like it. All of the most important things in my life are changed...
Motor Pool Sergeant: [Hawkeye approaches a Jeep and sets his bag into it] What in the hell do you think you're doing? Hawkeye Pierce: Huh? I was just - uh... Motor Pool Sergeant: Just because you're a captain, don't think you run the joint. I run it....
Johnny Boy: You see, I borrow money all over this neighborhood, left and right from every BODY, I never pay them back. So, I can't borrow no money from nobody no more, right? So, who would that leave me to borrow money from but you? I borrow money fr...
Oracle: I'd ask you to sit down, but, you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the vase. Neo: What vase? [Neo turns to look for a vase, and as he does, he knocks over a vase of flowers, which shatters on the floor] Oracle: That vase. Neo: I'...
Bart: So, you got any other cars? David Grant: No. Just that one. Bart: What's the engine? David Grant: It's uh... four cylinder? Bart: Yeah. But, what size? David Grant: Oh, I don't really know. Cole: What's your brother drive? David Grant: Who, Ros...
Oogie Boogie Man: Well well well. What have we here? Sandy Claws, huh? Ooo I'm really scared! So you're the one everybody's talking about? [laughs] Oogie Boogie Man: [singing] You're joking, you're joking/I can't believe my eyes/You're joking me, you...
[Johnny holds up a cross-shaped wreath Barbara bought for their father's grave] Johnny: Look at this thing. "We still remember"? I don't! You know, I don't even remember what the man looks like! Barbara: Johnny, it takes you five minutes. Johnny: Yea...
Phillip Vandamm: Mr. Kaplan, you are quite the performer. First you're the outraged Madison Avenue advertising executive who claims that he has been mistaken for someone else. Next, you play the fugitive from justice supposedly trying to clear himsel...
Pop Fisher: I'd have walked away from baseball and I'd have bought a farm. Roy Hobbs: Nothing like a farm. Nothing like being around animals, fixing things. There's nothing like being in the field with the corn and the winter wheat. The greenest stuf...
Max: You know, I've been watching you all night, and you've been drinking like a fish. Trying to get your courage up? We're only bringing in a shipment of booze, it's got so you're even scared to do that. Maybe you just better stay home tonight, with...
Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It's not that hard: Na-ghee-na-na-jar. Nagheenanajar. Michael Bolton: Yeah, well, at least your name isn't Michael Bolton. Samir: You know, there's nothing wrong with that name. Michael ...
Jim Hickam: [at football practice] Hey, Lenny; take it easy on my kid brother, but make it look good, all right? Jim Hickam: [Homer is tackled hard] I thought I told you to take it easy on him. Lenny: I *did* take it easy on him Homer: [playing again...
Pete: Well hell, it ain't square one! Ain't nobody gonna pick up three filthy, unshaved hitch-hikers, and one of them a know-it-all that can't keep his trap shut. Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, the personal rancor reflected in that remark I don't inte...
Lone Watie: How did you know which one was goin' to shoot first? Josie Wales: Well, that one in the center: he had a flap holster and he was in no itchin' hurry. And the one second from the left: he had scared eyes, he wasn't gonna do nothin'. But th...
Cab Dispatcher: Where are you going? Neal: Chicago. Cab Dispatcher: Chicago? Neal: Yeah, Chicago. Cab Dispatcher: You know you're in St. Louis? Neal: Yes I do. Cab Dispatcher: Why don't you try the airlines? It's faster and you get a free meal. Neal:...
[last lines] Chris Taylor: [voiceover] I think now, looking back, we did not fight the enemy; we fought ourselves. And the enemy was in us. The war is over for me now, but it will always be there, the rest of my days as I'm sure Elias will be, fighti...
Elizabeth: [when Pintel and Ragetti finds her hiding in the closet] Parley! Pintel: [pauses] What? Elizabeth: Parley. I invoke the right of parley. According to the Code set down by the pirates Morgan and Bartholomew says you have to take me to your ...
Mr. Bennet: Lizzy, are you out of your senses? I thought you hated the man. Elizabeth Bennet: No, Papa. Mr. Bennet: He's rich, to be sure, and you will have more fine carriages than Jane. But will that make you happy? Elizabeth Bennet: Have you no ob...
Nikola Tesla: Mr. Angier, have you considered the cost of such a machine? Robert Angier: Price is not an object. Nikola Tesla: Perhaps not, but have you considered the *cost*? Robert Angier: I'm not sure I follow. Nikola Tesla: Go home. Forget this t...
[Discussing Borden's trick] Robert Angier: How does he do it? Cutter: He uses a double. Robert Angier: No, no, no, no. It's too simple. This is a complex illusion. Cutter: You only say that because you don't know the method. It's a double that comes ...
Marjane's grandmother: So you're French, now? Marjane as a teenager: Nana, stop it. Marjane's grandmother: No no, I'm just asking, is all. I didn't know you were French. Marjane as a teenager: Do you think it's easy being Iranian here? The moment I s...
