Patrick: There's this one guy, queer as a 3 dollar bill. The guy's father doesn't know about his son. So, he comes into the basement one night when he's supposed to be out of town. Catches his son with another boy, so he starts beating him. But not l...
Guy Woodhouse: [on Rosemary's decision to switch doctors] You know what Dr. Hill is? He's a Charlie Nobody, that's who he is! Rosemary Woodhouse: I'm tired of hearing about how great Dr. Sapirstein is! Guy Woodhouse: Well, I won't let you do it Ro. R...
Sergio: Tell us everything you know. Health Inspector: Okay. Okay. Yesterday, we received a call from a vet who had a dog brought in with an unknown disease. The dog went into a coma and a few moments later came to, and was extraordinarily aggressive...
Agent Paxton: Mr. Mason, I'm Special Agent-in-Charge Ernest Paxton. John Mason: In charge of what? Fucking me over for another three decades? Agent Paxton: I don't know anything about your previous matters. We've brought you here because there's a si...
FBI Director Womack: What do you know about V.X. gas? Dr. Stanley Goodspeed: Liquid; failed pesticide; discovered by mistake in 1952. Uhh, actually, it's kind of like champagne that way. The Franciscan monks thought they were making white wine. Someh...
John Mason: Your mother, well... she was very special. Jade Angelou: Yes, she was. But I don't think that we should romanticize what happened between you and her. Meeting in a bar after a Led Zeppelin concert, ya know? And I was the result. John Maso...
Raymond: Gotta get my boxer shorts at K-Mart. Charlie: [Pulls over, gets out of the car and yells] WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE WHERE YOU BUY UNDERWEAR? WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE? UNDERWEAR IS UNDERWEAR! IT IS UNDERWEAR WHEREVER YOU BUY IT! IN CIN...
Coach Boone: [after Gary got into his car accident] I don't know mama, maybe Yost was right. Maybe I pushed him too hard. Carol Boone: Gary had an accident. Sometimes life's just hard, for no reason at all. Coach Boone: Do you think I was blinded by ...
[Royal is telling his children that he and their mother are splitting up] Young Margot Tenenbaum: Is it our fault? Royal: No, no. Obviously, we made certain sacrifices as a result of having children, but no, Lord, no. Young Richie Tenenbaum: Then why...
Lt. Doyle: You didn't see the killing or the body. How do you know there was a murder? Jeff: Because everything this fellow's done has been suspicious: trips at night in the rain, knifes, saws, trunks with rope, and now this wife that isn't there any...
Han Solo: [as Chewie tries to fight off the imperials and free Han] No! Stop, Chewie, stop! Chewie! Chewie this won't help me! Hey! Save your strength. There'll be another time. The Princess. You have to take care of her. You hear me? Huh? [Leia and ...
[Yoda tries to convince Luke not to leave] Yoda: You must not go! Luke: But Han and Leia will die if I don't. [Obi-Wan's Force-spirit suddenly appears] Obi-Wan: You don't know that. Even Yoda cannot see their fate. Luke: But I can help them! I feel t...
[C-3PO and R2-D2 are first seen walking in the underground base on Ice Planet Hoth] C-3PO: I didn't ask you to turn on the thermal heater. I merely commented that it was freezing in the princess's chamber... R2-D2: [Chirps his objection] C-3PO: But i...
Miss Scott: It's 3 o'clock in the morning! General "Buck" Turgidson: Weh-heh-heh-ll, the Air Force never sleeps. Miss Scott: Buck, honey, I'm not sleepy either... General "Buck" Turgidson: I know how it is, baby. Tell you what you do: you just start ...
Doyle: Hey, Vaughan, I heard you been putting it on ol' Albert Sellers who works over at the funeral home. Vaughan Cunningham: I know Albert. We're friends. Doyle: No, I heard you're more than friends. I heard Dick Rivers come in there and caught the...
The Professor: [inspecting the students' soufflés] Too low. Too pale. Too heavy. Too low. Too *high*, you are exaggerating. Fair. So-so. Sloppy. [he gets to the Baron] The Professor: Mm. Superb. My dear Baron, you have not lost your touch. [he looks...
Ed: What happened to your hand, man? Pete: I got mugged on the way home. Ed: By who? Pete: I dunno by some crackheads or something, one of them bit me. Ed: Why'd they bite you? Pete: I don't know, I didn't stop to ask them! Now, I have a splitting he...
Queen: Take her far into the forest. Find some secluded glade where she can pick wildflowers. Huntsman: Yes, Your Majesty. Queen: And there, my faithful huntsman, you will kill her! Huntsman: [protesting] But Your Majesty! The little princess! Queen:...
Ricardo Morales: The worst part is I'm starting to forget. I have to constantly make myself remember her. Every day. The day she was killed, Liliana made me tea with lemon. I'd been coughing all night and she said it would help. I remember those stup...
Donkey: Shrek, remember when you said that ogres have layers? Shrek: Oh, aye? Donkey: Well, I have a bit of a confession to make: donkeys don't have layers. We wear our fear right there on our sleeves. Shrek: Wait a second, donkeys don't have sleeves...
Mary Morstan: [Mary asks Holmes to make some deductions regarding herself] What can you tell about me? Sherlock Holmes: You? Dr. John Watson: I don't think that's... Sherlock Holmes: I don't know if that's... Dr. John Watson: Not at dinner. Sherlock ...
