Colonel Hathi: Espirit de Corps. That's the way I earned my commission in the Majarajah's Fifth Pachyderm Brigade. Back in '88 it was. Or... or was it? Winifred: Here it comes. The Victoria Cross bit again. Colonel Hathi: It was then I received the V...
Jim Garrison: What I need to know is why. Why are you telling us this? Willie O'Keefe: Cause that motherfucker Kennedy, stole that motherfuckin' election, that's why. Nixon, was gonna be one of the great presidents 'till Kennedy wrecked it up. Got ni...
Tim: What do you call a blind dinosaur? Dr. Alan Grant: I don't know. What do you call a blind dinosaur? Tim: A Do-you-think-he-saurus. Dr. Alan Grant: Ha ha. Good one. Tim: What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog? Dr. Alan Grant: You got me. Tim: A ...
[watching the incineration of Jews' bodies outside Krakow] Amon Goeth: Can you believe this? As if I don't have enough to do, they come up with this? I have to find every rag buried up here and burn it. The party's over, Oskar. They're closing us dow...
Agnes: If this is the best you can do, don't bother. Go home, and keep your perfume. We just pretend to be friends because there's no one else to be with. You know what the most boring thing I've ever done is? When you took me to that wheelchair bask...
Walter: What happened to her? Garth: Looks like her heart gave out in all the excitement. She was plenty old, you know. Walter: Look, I think she's smiling. Garth: I guess she died happy. Hub: She died with her boots on, that's the main thing. Garth:...
Young Michael: We haven't hit the hot dog vendor in couple of weeks. Young Tommy Marcano: I don't know Mike... The cart guy ain't like the others. I mean he gets pretty pissed, like crazy when you try to take him off. Young Michael: We can eat hot do...
Vern: Do you think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman? Teddy: What are you, cracked? Vern: Why not? I saw the other day. He was carrying five elephants in one hand! Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothing! Mighty Mouse is a cartoon. Superman's a real guy...
The Writer: At the beginning of the school year, Vern had buried a quart jar of pennies underneath his house. He drew a treasure map so he could find them again. A week later, his mom cleaned out his room and threw away the map. Vern had been trying ...
Vern: You think Mighty Mouse could beat up Superman? Teddy: What are you cracked? Vern: Why not? I saw the other day, he was carrying 5 elephants in one hand. Teddy: Boy, you don't know nothin', Mighty Mouse is a cartoon, Superman is a real guy, no w...
Otho: Oh, you family types, you got other things to worry about. Maxie Dean's coming up here tonight. You got to figure out a way to sell these ghosts. I can only do so much. Charles: What are you gonna do, Otho, viciously rearrange their enviroment?...
Dean: Look, I didn't want to be somebody's husband and I didn't want to be somebody's dad. That wasn't my... goal in life. For some guys it is - wasn't mine. But somehow, I've... it was what I wanted. I didn't know that and it's all I wanna do. I don...
Samantha: [after leaving Bill's family for good] Why couldn't we take Randy and Mindy with us? Mom: Because sweetie, I'm not their legal guardian, that would be kidnapping; it's against the law. Samantha: Couldn't you talk to their mom? Mom: I tried ...
Robert Frobisher: My dearest Sixsmith, I shot myself through the roof of my mouth this morning with Vivian Ayrs' Luger. A true suicide is a paced, disciplined certainty. People pontificate suicide is a coward's act. Couldn't be further from the truth...
[on the pronunciation of "phlegm"] Brian Roberts: P H is always pronounced as F, and, uh, you don't sound the G. Natalia Landauer: Then why are they putting the G, please? Brian Roberts: That's, that's a very good question, but rather difficult to ex...
Mercedes: Albert, I found the note you left explaining where you'd gone. But now I must explain something to you. Where you've really come from. Albert, you are the son of Edmond Dantes. The man you know as the Count of Monte Cristo. [Albert Mondego ...
Jay: You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah. Like, be the first moth...
Charles Foster Kane: You know, Mr. Bernstein, if I hadn't been very rich, I might have been a really great man. Walter Parks Thatcher: Don't you think you are? Charles Foster Kane: I think I did pretty well under the circumstances. Walter Parks Thatc...
Faye: Why did you do all this? For money? Some sort of revenge? Or perhaps just for fun? Vincent: I am just looking for a door to open. Faye: A door? Vincent: I was dreaming, and I knew it was a dream. And yet, I couldn't open my eyes. You know what ...
Tramp: In Dublin's fair city / Where the girls are so pretty, / I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone. / As she wheel'd her wheel barrow, / Thro' streets broad and narrow, / Crying "cockles and mussels alive alive O!" / "alive, alive O! Alive, al...
Truman Capote: I had lunch with Jimmy Baldwin the other day. Party date: How is he? Truman Capote: He's lovely, he's a lovely man. And he told me the plot of his new book. And he said, "I just wanted to make sure it's not one of those problem novels,...
