Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. Cos if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. And if I spike you, you'll know you've been spoken to. Withnail: You wouldn't spike me, you're too mean. Beside there's nothing invented I couldn't take. ...
Uncle Monty: You shouldn't treat each other so badly. This boy's been out there frozen to the marrow and you just sit in here drinking. Now, come along, he's going to revitalise himself and you're going to finish the vegetables. Withnail: I don't kno...
Bryan Callen: Tommy Riordan's captured the media's attention, but the question still remains: who is this guy? And more importantly, can he compete in this talent pool? Can he win? Sam Sheridan: I wish I knew, Bryan. I wish I knew who he was, and I'v...
Max Belfort: [hears a phone] Who the fuck has the goddamn gall to call this house on a Tuesday night? God damn it! Leah Belfort: [watching TV] You're going to miss it! Max Belfort: Tell me something I don't know, I wait all week for the fucking Equal...
Sally Albright: At least I got the apartment. Harry Burns: That's what everyone says. But, really, what's so hard about finding an apartment? What you do is look in the obituary section. You see who died, find out where they lived, and tip the doorma...
Anita: You have your big important council. The council, [kiss] Anita: or me. [kiss] Bernardo: First one, [kiss] Bernardo: then the other. [Tries to kiss her, she pulls away] Anita: Ah, I'm an American girl now, I don't wait. Bernardo: Ah, back home ...
Bud Fox: Hi, Marv. Marv: [sarcastically] Oh, hi. Say, why don't YOU get the hell out of MY office! Bud Fox: I know I've been a bit of a schmuck lately and I just want to apologize. Marv: You've been a *real* schmuck lately. So go thou and sin no more...
Detective Fine: [From outside Moloch's apartment] Rorschach! This is the police, we know you're in there. Rorschach: No! No! Detective Fine: [From outside Moloch's apartment] If there's anybody in there with you, send 'em out unharmed. Rorschach: No!...
Townsman: [Book, dressed in Amish clothes, has just finished severely beating a local youth who was harassing Daniel Hochleitner] Never seen anything like it in all my years! Daniel Hochleitner: He's from Ohio, my cousin. Townsman: Well, them Ohio Am...
Rainer Wenger: Mr. Wieland! Dieter Wieland: Mr. Wenger. Rainer Wenger: About the project week... Dieter Wieland: Yes, and? Rainer Wenger: Can we switch? I got autocracy. Dieter Wieland: Alea iacta est. The die has been cast. Rainer Wenger: You know I...
Bromhead: Chard. One of my men - Hook - do you know him? Lieutenant John Chard: [preoccupied] No. Bromhead: In the hospital, malingering under arrest. He's a thief, a coward and an insubordinate barrack room lawyer. And you've given him a rifle! Lieu...
Juror #10: Oh, listen, I don't see what all this stuff about the knife has got to do with anything. Somebody saw the kid stab his father, what more do we need? You guys can talk the ears right off my head, you know what I mean? I got three garages of...
McKenzie: Hey, don't you have like 20 cards to write by Friday? Tom: Nope, all done. McKenzie: Really? Well, could you help me with mine? Because I'm running out of ways to say "Congratulations". So far, I've got: "Congrats", "Good job" and "Well don...
Jeffrey Lovell: Dad, did you know the astronauts in the fire? Jim Lovell: [pause] Yeah, I knew them. Knew all of them. Jeffrey Lovell: Could that happen again? Jim Lovell: Well, I'll tell you something about that fire, a lot of things went wrong. The...
John Laroche: Look, I'll tell you a story, all right? I once feel deeply, you know, profoundly in love with tropical fish. Had 60 goddamn fish tanks in my house. I skin dived to find just the right ones. Anisotremus virginicus, Holdacanthus ciliaris,...
John Laroche: [viewing an orchid at a flower show] Angraecum sesquipedale! A beauty! God! Darwin wrote about this one. Charles Darwin? Evolution guy? Hello? You see that nectary all the way down there? Darwin hypothesized a moth with a nose twelve in...
Margo Channing: Margo Channing is ageless - spoken like a press agent. Lloyd Richards: I know what I'm talking about. After all, they're my plays. Margo Channing: Spoken like an author. Lloyd, I'm not twenty-ish, I'm not thirty-ish. Three months ago ...
Russell Hammond: [high on acid; laughingly, to Dick] Look at him, he's taking notes with his eyes. [Violently grabs William and shouts to his face] Russell Hammond: How do we know you're not a cop, huh? The enemy! Stop fucking looking at me! Dick Ros...
Jeff Bebe: I can't say anymore with the writer here. Russell Hammond: No, no, no. You can trust him, you can say whatever you want. Jeff Bebe: I work just as hard or harder than anybody on that stage. You know what I do? I connect. I get people off. ...
Robert Ford: I've been a nobody all my life. I was the baby; I was the one they made promises to that they never kept. And ever since I can recall it, Jesse James has been as big as a tree. I'm prepared for this, Jim. And I'm going to accomplish it. ...
[Detective Trupo notices Richie's plans to arrest Frank Lucas] Detective Trupo: What's this? Don't tell me you're actually gonna arrest Frank Lucas, are you? Detective Richie Roberts: What? Haven't you heard? We're all fucking crazy over here. You kn...
