Addison DeWitt: [Voice over intro] Those of you who do not read, attend the theater, listen to unsponsored radio programs, or know anything of the world in which you live, it is perhaps necessary to introduce myself. My name is Addison DeWitt. My nat...
Terry Fields: Pardon me, sir, but I lost my I.D. in... in a flood and I'd like to get some Old Harper, hard stuff. Would you mind buying a bottle for me? Bum at Liquor Store: Why certainly! I lost my wife, too - her name wasn't Idy, though, and it wa...
Alvy Singer: Hey listen, gimme a kiss. Annie Hall: Really? Alvy Singer: Yeah, why not, because we're just gonna go home later, right, and then there's gonna be all that tension, we've never kissed before and I'll never know when to make the right mov...
Ripley: Come on, Ash, I mean, the Science Department should be able to help us. What can we do to drive it? Ash: Yes, well, it's adapted remarkably well to our atmosphere considering its nutritional requirements. The only thing we don't know about is...
Jonathan Brewster: Teddy, I think it's time for you to go to bed. Teddy Brewster: I beg your pardon. Who are you? Jonathan Brewster: I'm Woodrow Wilson. Go to bed! Teddy Brewster: No, you're not Wilson, but you're face is familiar. Let me see. You're...
Genie: [as he is being released] You know, Al, I'm getting really... [notices Jafar] Genie: I don't think you're him. Genie: [reading a script] Tonight the part of Al will be played by a tall, dark and sinister ugly man. Jafar: I am your master now! ...
Constanze Mozart: Stop it! Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: I am stopping it! Slowly. There? See? I've stopped. Now we're going back. Constanze Mozart: No! Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Yes, yes! You don't know where you are! Here, everything goes backwards. Peop...
Constanze Mozart: [to Mozart's father] May I offer you some tea, Herr Mozart? Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Tea? Who wants tea? Let's go out! This calls for a feast. You don't want tea, do you, Papa? Constanze Mozart: Wolfie... Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: I ...
Patrick Bateman: I'm fucking serious. It's fucking over, us, this is no joke. I don't think we should see each other any more. Evelyn Williams: But your friends are my friends and my friends are your friends. I really don't think it would work. You h...
Robbie Turner: [about the letter he sent her] It was a mistake. Cecilia Tallis: Briony read it. Robbie Turner: I'm so sorry, it was the wrong version. Cecilia Tallis: Yes. Robbie Turner: It was never meant to be read. Cecilia Tallis: No. [walks away,...
Wanda Maximoff: I can show you what you truly fear! Ulysses Klaue: You know what I fear? Cuttlefish! Fish deep in the sea, with lights and big teeth. You going to show me a giant cuttlefish? You won't. You won't do business with me, and I do business...
Tony Stark: [regaining consciousness] What just happened? Please tell me nobody kissed me. Steve Rogers: We won. Tony Stark: Alright. Hey. Alright. Good job, guys. Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? ...
Thor: Do not touch me again! Tony Stark: Then don't take my stuff. Thor: You have no idea what you are dealing with. Tony Stark: Uh, Shakespeare in The Park? Doth mother know you weareth her drapes? Thor: This is beyond you, metal man. Loki will face...
Trudy Chacon: What's goin' on, brother? Long time, no see. Lock Up Trooper: Hey. Trudy Chacon: Personally, I don't feel these tree huggin' traitors deserve steak. Lock Up Trooper: They get steak? That's bullshit. Let me see that. [Trudy laughs and th...
Mrs. Lowe: Oh, hello boys. Leonard's Friend #1: Hi, Mrs. Lowe. Can I come up to play today? Mrs. Lowe: Uh, no. I am sorry. Better not today. Leonard's Friend #1: Oh, how about tomorrow? Mrs. Lowe: Well, I am afraid, he won't be well by then either. L...
Cheshire Cat: Oh, by the way, if you'd really like to know, he went that way. Alice: Who did? Cheshire Cat: The White Rabbit. Alice: He did? Cheshire Cat: He did what? Alice: Went that way. Cheshire Cat: Who did? Alice: The White Rabbit. Cheshire Cat...
[Talking to friend on the phone that insists people call him Rocky instead of Goon] Billy Brown: You know why they call you Goon? Because you're retarded. And you're ugly. You're an ugly retard. And they call you Goon because you're ugly and retarded...
Dr. Jonathan Crane: I am more than aware that you are not intimidated by *me*, Mr. Falcone. But you know who I'm working for, and when he gets here... Carmine Falcone: He-he's coming to Gotham? Dr. Jonathan Crane: Yes he is. And when he gets here, he...
Susan Vance: Oh, I'm caught on something - David, help me, will you? David Huxley: Oh, no. That's poison ivy. Susan Vance: I bet you wouldn't treat Miss Swallow this way. David Huxley: I bet Miss Swallow knows poison ivy when she sees it. Susan Vance...
Mrs. Random: [Mrs. Random finds David and Susan running out of the house] Susan Susan - come back here - come back here this minute! What are you doing? Susan Vance: Hunting for George. Mrs. Random: Why? Susan Vance: [In a rush] David wants him, Davi...
Allison Reynolds: Your middle name is Ralph, as in puke, your birth date's March 12th, you're 5'9 and a half, you weigh 130 pounds and your social security number is 049380913. Andrew Clark: Wow. Are you psychic? Allison Reynolds: No. Brian Johnson: ...
