Carson Wells: I was wondering... Man who hires Wells: Yes? Carson Wells: Could you validate my parking ticket? Man who hires Wells: An attempt at humor, I suppose. Carson Wells: I'm sorry... You know, I counted the floors to this building from the st...
Diana Christensen: [flipping through the newspaper] You know, Barbara, the Arabs have decided to jack up the price of oil another 20%... uh, the CIA has been caught opening Senator Humphrey's mail... there's a civil war in Angola... another one in Be...
Nelson Chaney: All I know is that this violates every canon of respectable broadcasting. Frank Hackett: We're not a respectable network. We're a whorehouse network, and we have to take whatever we can get. Nelson Chaney: Well, I don't want any part o...
Duke: I was just going for a walk. I couldn't sleep. Nurse Esther: You were going to see Miss Allie. Now you know you're not allowed. It's against the rules. You go back to your room. And as for me, I'm going downstairs to get a cup of coffee and won...
Ellen Griswold: Clark, I need my vanity case. We've got to go back and look for it. All my credit cards are in it. Clark: Honey, Number 1: I've already called the bank and told them you lost them. B: there's no way we're going to find it when we don'...
Noodles: You've been around. Where'd you learn them "parlez-vous francais" dishes? Who's teaching you that stuff? Deborah Gelly: You mean a sugar daddy, who tries to teach me how to act? I read books. I want to know everything. Doesn't it make sense ...
Michael Bolton: You think the pet rock was a really great idea? Tom Smykowski: Sure it was. The guy made a million dollars. You know, I had an idea like that once. A long time ago. Peter Gibbons: Really, what was it, Tom? Tom Smykowski: Well, all rig...
[last lines] [Fletcher knows he's talking to Josey Wales] Fletcher: I think I'll go down to Mexico to try to find him. Josey Wales: And then? Fletcher: He's got the first move. I owe him that. I think I'll try to tell him the war is over. What do you...
Del: You play with your balls a lot. Neal: I do NOT play with my balls. Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour! Neal: Are you trying to start a fight? Del: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fid...
Vizzini: We'll head straight for the Gilder frontier. You catch up with us there. If he falls, fine. If not, the sword. Inigo Montoya: I'm going to duel him left-handed. Vizzini: You know what a hurry we're in! Inigo Montoya: Well, is only way I can ...
Vizzini: [Buttercup has jumped overboard and is in the water, trying to escape. Suddenly, horrible screeching is heard] Do you know what that sound is, Highness? Those are the shrieking eels! If you don't believe me, just wait. They always grow loude...
[first lines] Pumpkin: Forget it. Too risky. I'm through doing that shit. Yolanda: You always say that. That same thing every time, "I'm through, never again, too dangerous". Pumpkin: I know that's what I always say. I'm always right, too. Yolanda: B...
[first lines] Maximillian Cohen: 9:13, Personal note: When I was a little kid my mother told me not to stare into the sun. So once when I was six I did. The doctors didn't know if my eyes would ever heal. I was terrified, alone in that darkness. Slow...
Chris Taylor: Day by day, I struggle to maintain not only my strength but my sanity. It's all a blur. I have no energy to write. I don't know what's right and what's wrong anymore. The morale of the men is low. A civil war in the platoon. Half the me...
Betty Parker: Mary Sue? Jennifer: Yeah? Betty Parker: What goes on up at Lover's Lane? Jennifer: What do you mean? Betty Parker: Well, you hear these things lately... kids spending so much time up there. Uh, is it holding hands? That kind of thing? J...
Jennifer: Hey, can I ask you a question? David: Sure. Jennifer: How come I'm still in black and white? David: What? Jennifer: I've had, like, ten times as much sex as the rest of these girls, and I still look like this. I mean, they spend, like, an h...
George Baines: [to Ada] Ada, wait. Wait. Do you know how to bargain? There's a way you can have your piano back. Do you want it back? Do you want it back? You see, I'd like us to make a deal. There's things I'd... like to do while you play. If you le...
Aunt Morag: You know, I am thinking of the piano. She does not play the piano like we do, Nessie. Up. Up! No, she is a strange creature. And her playing is strange, like a mood that passes into you. Up! Now, your playing is plain and true, and that i...
Dillon: Dutch, the General's sayin' that a couple of our friends are about to get squeezed, and we can't let that happen. We need the best. That's why you're here. Dutch: Go on. Dillon: Simple setup. One-day operation. We pick up their trail at the c...
Charlie: Mr. Anderson? Can I ask you something? Bill: Yeah. Charlie: Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date? Bill: Are we talking about anyone specific? [Charlie nods] Bill: Well, we accept the love we think we deserve. Charlie: Can we ma...
Sam: So, I'm guessing you've never been high before. Charlie: No. No, no, no. My best friend, Michael, his dad was a big drinker, so he hated all that stuff. Parties too. Sam: Well, where is Michael tonight? Charlie: Oh, he shot himself last May. I k...
